Friday, April 18, 2008

THE KITTY VERSION OF PASSOVER (PURR-OVER)


With due apologies to cats and humans of the Jewish faith, here’s a little story about the annual religious holiday of Purr-Over, the kitty version of Passover.

Many years ago, a big mean dog named Fay-Roe lived with his pack in Egypt. Fay-Roe despised all cats and kept them enslaved by means of his sharp teeth, bad doggie breath, thunderous bark and long claws (Fay-Roe didn’t make it to the groomer too often). Yes, fellow cats, Egyptian kitties had to hew wood and draw water for dogs! They even had to clean up the yard after slovenly uncouth dogs used it as a bathroom (to this day, dogs still haven’t figured out how to use a litter box).

The leader of the cats was named Meez-es, who cleverly disguised himself as Charlton Heston (that’s a staff he’s holding, not a gun). Naturally, all the kitties hated being enslaved and wanted to escape, so Meez-es came up with a plan. He arranged for a plague of fleas and ticks to attack the dogs, but leave the cats alone. While the all dogs were busy itching and scratching, Meez-es purred very loudly to create a distraction and all the kitties got away! Hence the name, Purr-Over.

Before the dogs knew what bit them, the cats had escaped to the Promised Land (Paris? Hawaii? L.A.?) where they were adored and worshipped by humans as they should have been all along. The kitties were smothered with affection, fed whatever they wanted, and given treats day and night for 40 years (which is a VERY long time!) If you don’t believe me, read the Cateuronomy book of the Bible or watch “The Ten Cat-Mandments” if you can sit through it without falling asleep. And on this Purr-Over holiday, when your human is giving you treats, take time out to remember those long-ago kitties who suffered and struggled, yet triumphed in the end.

12 comments:

The Cat Realm said...

Hahahahahahahahahah - what a great story, hahahahahahahah! Purr-over, hahahahahahahahaah!
Does that mean we can only eat kosher catnip for the next 8 days, hahahahahahahaha

Quasi said...

Yes, it has to be marked "kosher for Purrover" and have the little "k" sign on it. Plus it needs to be unleavened.

MISS PEACH >(^.^) said...

Quasi I just love your take on PurrrrOver! You are very witty my friend. I wish you a very peaceful holiday week...Oh and about that promised land being Hawaii? I will let you know when I get back next week!
Love Miss Peach

andrée said...

This answers a lot of questions for me: foremost: why dogs are such sorry things. They crave human affection so much that it is embarrassing!!

You may enjoy the weekly post for Christian kitties at http://meeyauw.blogspot.com/2008/04/lol-cat-bible-lectionary-readings-for_18.html (If you have seen before, my apologies for the link). This is very cool post.

jh an Mickey Mantle said...

Dear Quasi,
This is a wonderful retelling ...
I will share it with my mom who will share it with her friends and family at their Purr-over seder tonight.
Love--Mickey (and jh)

HRH Yao-Lin said...

hahaha oh my that is wonderful! It really is! Of course, the knowledge is ingrained in all of catkind! It probably explains why cats and dogs do not get along as a rule! Fabulous! x

webpenguin said...

I love it! My recently departed Jake-the gentle giant- tried to tell me the story of Purr-Over, but I would never listen. I can hardly wait to get your book! I'll read it to Misty and the new interloper, Miss Tiffany. (a seal point Siamese)
Webpenguin

Lorianna said...

Purr-over... How cute! I will check the nip to make sure it's kosher, though I suspect my kitties are Pagan. :) At least I think that's why my husband calls Cricket a "little witch."
Have a wonderful weekend!
Purrs,
Lorianna

zevo hussein calamari said...

LOVE this version! thank you so much!!!!!!

Moki said...

Hehehe...we enjoyed your retelling of purrover very much indeed!

felinesopher said...

another story telling of cat version? hmmm.... perhaps, someday you could make a book of it from myths all over the world!

1st ManCat Monday furr Big Brother Bunjie, Meaouwy Troops leader

Name: Mr. Hendrix said...

I love this! Mommy actually loves that movie. She finds it very entertaining.


This is a very good tribute to Purr-over