Monday, August 23, 2010

OMG! Steve's Female Has a Stinger!

As all cats know, humans can be very flummoxing at times… especially female humans. Female humans come equipped with cat-like deviousness of their own, so they can be very hard to figure out. At times, even male humans have difficulty understanding what makes female humans tick, and my male human, Steve, is no exception.

Still, you can only imagine my surprise when, completely out of the blue, I found out that Steve’s female has a stinger! Yes, that’s right… a stinger. Just like a bee or a wasp.

Now, those of you who have read my latest book, The World Is STILL Your Litter Box, know that I now have two kitty compadres in my household, Bo Diddley and Piglet. Bo Diddley is pretty cool, but Piglet (who is a runt) makes constant affronts on my alpha maleness. I’ve written about this pretty extensively in STILL Your Litter Box, but suffice it to say that when Piglet challenges my alpha maleness, I have no choice but to straighten him out, usually with a flurry of whaps to the head. Naturally, Steve’s female is overly-protective of Piglet who, as I said, is a little guy. So when I take up paws against him, even though it’s his fault (the little rotter!), the female ALWAYS comes to his defense.

To thwart my alpha male aggressiveness toward Piglet, the female has tried a variety of tactics – yelling at me to stop (hah!), stomping her feet (nice try!), squirting me with a water bottle (oh, please!) – nothing worked. But the other day, when I was rightfully putting Piglet in his place, I felt a little sting on my right flank… ouchie! At first, I thought it might be my imagination, but when I returned to the business at hand – whapping Piglet into submission – darned if I didn’t feel another sting! Quickly putting two and two together, I came to the obvious conclusion… Steve’s female has a stinger, and she’s not afraid to use it!

[Note from Steve: Quasi doesn’t know that I’ve added this little aside to his blog post, but I don’t want anyone to think we’re hurting or abusing the big white guy… something we would NEVER do. The female’s “stinger” is actually a small rubber band that she shoots at Quasi’s hindquarters when he’s bashing Piglet. It doesn’t hurt him, but it definitely gets his attention and causes him to stop. Until he figures this out, which he ultimately will I’m sure, the “stinger” has proven to be most effective in preventing Piglet from getting ruthlessly pummeled.]

Anyway, fellow cats, I’m going to get to the bottom of this “stinger” business, and when I do, I’ll let you know what I find out. Meanwhile, keep a close eye out if you’ve got a female human in your household. Who knows? She might have a stinger too!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Two Cat Books You Should Check Out (Besides Mine!)

I thought I’d give everyone a break from plugging my own books (The World Is Your Litter Box & The World Is STILL Your Litter Box… sorry, I couldn’t resist!) and let you know about two other cat books that we really like.

The first is Buckley’s Story, written by Ingrid King, who also writes the excellent blog, The Conscious Cat. Buckley’s Story is about Ingrid’s adoption of Buckley, a beautiful tortoise shell kitty who, sadly, developed heart disease and ultimately made her way to the Rainbow Bridge. The book focuses on Ingrid’s caring for Buckley through her illness and the special bond they developed, and although it’s kind of sad in places, it really is a celebration of the timeless connection between humans and kitties. Here’s the Amazon link for Buckley’s Story, which I highly recommend.

And then there’s the brand new book from my personal friend Sparkle the Designer Cat entitled Dear Sparkle: Cat-to-Cat Advice from the World’s Foremost Feline Columnist. In this her second book, Sparkle answers questions from inquiring kitties and provides sage advice for resolving all manners of kitty conundrums. And if that’s not enough, there’s even a mention of yours truly in the introduction. Here’s the Amazon link for Dear Sparkle… very funny and very informative!

Yes, fellow cats, you’ll certainly want to add these wonderful books to your library, along with The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box, of course (hey, what can I tell you… I’m a hopeless hype machine!).

Monday, August 9, 2010

Reviews of The World Is STILL Your Litter Box

We’re starting to get some very nice reviews of The World Is STILL Your Litter Box from highly intelligent and erudite reviewers who clearly recognize fine literature when they see it. For example, in the Tampa Bay Tribune, Kristen Levine of Fetching Communications writes, “There are plenty of laughs in these pages, and loads of cattitude.” Sandy Amazeen on Monsters & Critics says, “Animal lovers are sure to laugh aloud at Quasi’s bright antics while recognizing aspects of their own feline companions.” On the Conscious Cat blog, Ingrid King, the author of Buckley’s Story, calls The World Is STILL Your Litter Box “a thoroughly delightful book for all cat lovers.” Sandy Robins, the Cat Fancy columnist, says “If you enjoyed Quasi’s first foray into the literary litter box, he has a lot more to say in the sequel.” And in the Burbank Leader (my hometown newspaper), Lyda Truick writes, “Quasi fills many chapters with anecdotal tactics for being the best cat possible.”

Yes, it’s truly wonderful to bask in praise from the literary world, but like all spoiled, insecure artists, I want MORE MORE MORE! If you would like to share your thoughts about The World Is Your Litter Box and/or The World Is STILL Your Litter Box (and stroke my fragile ego), send them to We’ll post your comments on the “Reviews” page of the Litter Box website for all the world to see. And if you’re feeling really ambitious, you can write a review of either or both books on Amazon (and seriously, we need all the reviews we can get!). To write a review, simply go Amazon and access the pages for the books. Click on “Customer Reviews,” which you’ll find under the title, then click on “Create Your Own Review.” Your thoughts and opinions are very important to us… especially if they’re complimentary and nice!

To read all the reviews of The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box, go to the “Reviews” page of the Litter Box website.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Cats & Vampires

These days, everyone seems to be going gaga over vampires. You’ve got the Twilight books and movies, which are phenomenally popular, and of course, there’s the HBO show True Blood, which Steve and his female never miss (actually, I watch it with them from my usual perch on the back of the couch behind their heads and I thoroughly enjoy it my own darn self).

But quite frankly, I don’t see why humans get so excited about vampires when they have us cats… and there are many, many similarities between cats and vampires. We both have evil-looking fangs, and we both can be very scary when we want to be (check out the kitty in the photo). We both can administer a fearsome bite and be extremely dangerous. We both like to prowl around at night and sleep during the day. We both have excellent night vision. And we both can get humans to do pretty much whatever we want.

And yet, while there are similarities, we cats have have a startling number of advantages over vampires. Here are some of them:
  • Cats are MUCH, MUCH cuter than vampires
  • Cats won’t drink your blood (we may scratch you and draw blood, but that’s as far as we go)
  • Vampires will not sit on your lap while you read or watch TV
  • Cats are impervious to garlic (a huge advantage for Italian families that like to cook)
  • Cats will let you pick them up and cuddle them (try THAT with a vampire!)
  • Vampires won’t let you rub their tummy like we cats will (well…for a couple seconds until we grab your arm anyway)
  • Cats like exciting music such as rockabilly and emo, whereas vampires would rather listen to boring dirges from medieval times
  • Cats will (grudgingly) let you dress them up in ridiculous clothing (don’t even THINK about trying THAT with a vampire!)
  • Cats are photogenic… vampires, when their fangs are down, are pretty ugly
  • Vampires DO NOT purr

So the next time your human starts gushing about how amazing vampires are, turn on the charm and let them know that cats make much better pets. After all, we have many vampire-like attributes with none of the disadvantages, the primary one being that a vampire might drink a human's blood and kill them, whereas we kitties… well, as long as our humans continue to love us and do our bidding would never do such a thing!