Monday, May 30, 2011

Memorial Day

On this Memorial Day, amid all the shopping and BBQs, let's all take a few moments to remember the humans who made the ultimate sacrifice to protect and defend the way of life we enjoy and hold so dear. I wish there were no wars, but I give wholehearted thanks the men and women who fought and died in them on our behalf.

And let's also use this opportunity to remember all the wonderful kitties who graced us with their presence and have now gone to the rainbow bridge. Thank you for the years of joy you gave us, and thank you for enriching our lives with your unconditional love. We remember you one and all.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Help for Tornado Victims (Humans and Animals)

It may not be the rapture or the end of the world, but we certainly have had more than our fair share of storms lately, the Midwest in particular. On top of all the tornadoes that occurred a few weeks ago and the flooding of the Mississippi River, the city of Joplin, Missouri has been hit especially hard by an unusually-large tornado that struck with very little warning and leveled much of the town. As of this writing, over 100 people are dead and the damage, as you can see in the photo above, is heartbreaking.

In times of natural disasters like this, rescue services and charitable organizations are extremely overtaxed, including those that focus primarily on animals. And since we are animal lovers here (especially cats, but ALL animals), we want to encourage you to make a donation to your favorite animal rights and rescue organization. I know things are tight these days, but even a few bucks would help if you can do it.

Along with Steve and his female (my humans), I want to thank all the wonderful organizations that do so much to help animals and people in times like these. In a world that often seems cruel and heartless, you represent all that is good.

For a list of animal rights and rescue organizations, click here.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Photos of Famous Writers & Their Kitties

This morning, while prowling around on the Internet with Steve, I discovered a very interesting website that is a must-see for all humans who love cats and literature… that’s right, intellectual cat lovers. The site, which is called Writers and Kitties, features photos of famous human writers and their true inspirations – their cats. Some of the cat-loving authors featured on the site and shown with their kitties include Stephen King, Joyce Carol Oates, Charles Bukowski, Raymond Chandler, Sylvia Plath, Jack Kerouac, Hunter S. Thompson, Margaret Atwood, Aldous Huxley, Mark Twain, and of course, Ernest Hemingway.

What about Steve & Quasi, you ask? Well, having just discovered Writers and Kitties, we’ve just submitted a photo (shown above), which will hopefully be added to the site. Needless to say, it would truly be an honor to be included among so many great authors… and great kitties!

Meanwhile, click here to check out Writers and Kitties.

Monday, May 9, 2011

News Alert: Piglet's Compound Destroyed!

Press Release from Quasi:
5/9/11   For Immediate Release

As part of my ongoing war with Piglet (my kitty housemate), I have taken bold and decisive action to destroy (well, okay… thrash) Pig’s well-fortified compound. As you can see from the Google Earth photo above, the compound was rendered semi-useless in this hush-hush (or, shall I say, hiss-hiss) precision strike. No civilian or kitty casualties occurred in the operation.

The flashpoint of my long-running conflict with Pig occurred shortly after Pig and his brother, Bo Diddley, came to live in our home and Pig, provocateur that he is, began staring at me for no apparent reason! Needless to say, this unwarranted act of aggression and assault on my alpha maleness could not go unpunished. When whaps, moans and hisses failed to do the job, further action was needed. I regret having to resort to taking up paws, but sometimes, a good thrashing is needed to put things right in the world.

I would like to thank the CIA, the National Security team and the U.S. Special Forces, although because I personally was able to wreck havoc on Pig’s compound with my overwhelming might and alpha male kittiness, their involvement in the operation was unnecessary. Meanwhile, the household remains on red alert in case Pig decides to take retaliatory action… or, even worse, stare at me some more.

Also, Anderson Cooper came by with a crew from CNN, but I wouldn't let him in!

Monday, May 2, 2011

How I Turned Steve's Mom Into a Cat Nut (A Mother's Day Story)

Mother’s Day is this Sunday, which reminds me that not too long ago, I, singlehandedly, turned Steve’s mother into an unapologetic, totally nutted-out cat lover. How did I do it? Read this excerpt from The World Is STILL Your Litter Box and find out…

Here’s just one more thing that happened in our household since the release of my first book – something which illustrates how a cat’s love can conquer all…
 Shortly before the arrival of Pig and B.D., Steve’s mom came to visit and stayed for five days. I’m not really too up on space/time continuum constructs, so I don’t really understand what Steve meant when he said that the five days felt like 500 years, but whatever… it was long enough for me to work my kitty magic.
At the time of her visit, Steve’s mom was not particularly fond of cats. In fact, during phone conversations, when Steve or the female told her about one of my oh-so-cute kitty antics, she always said something like, “Oh, you and your cat! You’d think he was your child.”
Actually, that’s true.
Anyway, when I heard that Steve’s mom was coming for a visit, I decided to take it upon myself to turn her feelings of antipathy toward cats into unquestionable, undying love. Yes, that’s right… I decided to turn her into a hopeless, unabashed cat nut with no chance of salvation or redemption.
The first thing I did after Steve’s mom arrived was to follow her around wherever she went. At first, she was a little perturbed, but after awhile, she started to enjoy my company and all the attention. This is one thing cats and females, mothers included, have in common… they all love it when you pay attention to them. I also snuggled up with Steve’s mom while she slept, and when she sat down, I made sure to jump up in her lap and purr at 120 decibels (which is roughly the volume level of a jet engine or a Metallica concert). I kept this up for the first two days she was here, and slowly but surely, the ice began to melt.
Then, as an integral part of my scheme, I pulled a quick about-face as only a cat can.
After dinner, while everyone was sitting around watching TV, I did NOT jump up in Steve’s mom’s lap as she expected. Instead, I sat a few feet away, cleaned myself and acted blasé. Steve’s mom patted her lap to indicate that I was welcome, but I turned up my nose, gave her a glimpse of my hindquarters and coolly sauntered away. And when she went to sleep that night, I was nowhere to be found.
Steve’s mom couldn’t believe I had shunned her.
“How come Quasi won’t sit on my lap anymore?” she asked Steve. “And he didn’t sleep with me last night.”
“But mom,” said Steve with a smirky grin. “I thought you didn’t like cats.”
“I never said I didn’t like cats.”
Next stop… another kitty convert.
To drive the point home and show Steve’s mom how cold the world can truly be without the comfort and love of a cat, I ignored her for a couple more hours. Then, to her great relief, I cranked my kitty charm-o-meter up to full power. I purred. I nuzzled. I looked cute. I meowed coquettishly. I sat in her lap and let her pet me. At night, I snuggled with her and burrowed under the covers like a spelunker. I ask you… how can ANY human go through life without a cat?
When it came time for Steve’s mom to go home, Steve gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“I’ll miss you,” she told Steve and the female. “But I’ll REALLY miss Quasi.”
And it wasn’t long before Steve’s mom got a cat of her own – a beautiful little calico kitty named Emily – and now when Steve calls her, all she talks about is… uh-huh, that’s correct… HER CAT.
Mission accomplished.

Here’s wishing mothers everywhere, cat, human and otherwise, a very HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY. None of us would be here without you.