Monday, October 24, 2011

Happy Halloween!

I thought I would get a jump on Halloween this year and be among the first to wish everyone (cat, human and otherwise) a very happy Halloween! And this week, all "Quasi's Questions for Cats" on the official The World Is Your Litter Box Facebook page will be Halloween-related. If you haven't yet visited the Litter Box Facebook Page, here's a link.

Meanwhile, for your enjoyment, here's the Halloween section from the "Holiday Fun (& Danger)" chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box.

Halloween: Another holiday fraught with both fun and danger. Halloween is a time when little humans, and some big ones, dress up in strange costumes, some of which are pretty scary. Usually, the little ones will go out trick-or-treating (whatever that is) and come home with bags full of teeth-rotting candy. This will provide you with a fine new source of diversion as you investigate the bag and remove anything that looks interesting... or edible. Another fun thing about Halloween is the pumpkins, which are carved up by humans to have scary or comical faces. When I was a kitten, I quite enjoyed climbing inside pumpkins for a look-see. However, with my massive expanse, I can no longer do so (oh the curse of aging). Also, if you are a black cat, this holiday’s for you. For some reason, many humans consider it bad luck if a black cat walks in front of them. So, if you are of the ebony persuasion, you can have extra fun by bedeviling those who are blatantly superstitious.
Now, on the danger side, there are a couple things to watch out for. First of all, there=s the scariness aspect. Halloween is a time when humans like to frighten each other by making scary sounds, watching scary movies, and wearing horrifying things such as zombie masks. To a cat, needless to say, some of these things are hair-raising to the nth degree. Therefore, it’s often best to find a good place to hide and stay out of your human=s way until their sanity returns. Also, if you are an outdoor cat, STAY INSIDE AFTER DARK. At night, dozens of humans are out on the street, trick-or-treating and acting especially goofy. Some teenage male humans see Halloween as a time to pull off pranks such as toilet papering their girlfriends’ homes, which is actually quite delightful. However, some of their antics are much more dangerous and sinister. As with the Fourth of July, there are some heartless, misguided humans who will torment cats for their own amusement. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS TOO!

NOTE #1: Investigate bags of trick-or-treat candy all you want. But DON’T EAT TOO MUCH!  In large quantities, candy will cause tooth decay and make you sick, possibly necessitating a trip to the vet (talk about scary).

NOTE #2: Some humans put candles inside their pumpkins and light them. If you are a kitten, or small enough to investigate the inside of a pumpkin, make sure the candle is out before you go in. Even though flickering flames are attractive and interesting, they will burn you if you get too close. Ouch!

Also, a quick word for any humans who might be reading this... be sure to keep your pets safe on Halloween night. Otherwise, we hope everyone has a great (and scary) time!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Ten Good Reasons Why You Should Buy The World Is STILL Your Litter Box

Well, fellow cats and cat lovers, it’s been awhile since I’ve hammered you with a yet another shameless promotion for my books – those would be The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box, in case you’d forgotten – so, strap yourself in!

Today, I’m focusing primarily on The World Is STILL Your Litter Box, the ultra-hilarious sequel to my first book. Now, I could bore you with all kinds of tired clichĂ©s such as “If you liked The World Is Your Litter Box, you’ll LOVE The World Is STILL Your Litter Box” and “The World Is STILL Your Litter Box is EVEN FUNNIER than Quasi’s first book”… even though those statements are most certainly true. But instead, I’ve decided to break it down to the fundamentals and give you ten good reasons every cat (and cat lover) on earth should buy The World Is STILL Your Litter Box

  • The World Is STILL Your Litter Box is available as an e-book, so you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your home to purchase a copy.
  • The World Is STILL Your Litter Box has more laughs per page than Dick Cheney’s new book.
  • The World Is STILL Your Litter Box includes EVEN MORE ways to flummox your human and make your life EVEN MORE pleasant and enjoyable than it already is
  • Kim Kardashian LOVES The World Is STILL Your Litter Box (I don’t know if that’s really true, but hey, a reference to the Kardashians can’t hurt, right?)
  • Reading The World Is STILL Your Litter Box will give you something interesting to talk about at boring cocktail parties
  • The World Is STILL Your Litter Box includes a list of breezy excuses for unacceptable kitty behavior and several sure-fire ways to make sure your human keeps your litter box clean (how helpful is THAT?)
  • The World Is STILL Your Litter Box will teach you creative new antics that are guaranteed to make your human say “Awwwwwww”
  • Reading The World Is STILL Your Litter Box will make you a more intelligent and well-rounded cat
  • We need the money more than famous celebrity authors
  • The World Is STILL Your Litter Box will solve all the ills of the world (I wish!) 
So there you have it, fellow cat… ten irrefutable reasons why you should convince your human to buy you your own personal copy of The World Is STILL Your Litter Box. However, if you’re still not convinced, you can read some LOL funny excerpts on the official The World Is Your Litter Box website.