But quite frankly, I don’t see why humans get so excited about vampires when they have us cats… and there are many, many similarities between cats and vampires. We both have evil-looking fangs, and we both can be very scary when we want to be (check out the kitty in the photo). We both can administer a fearsome bite and be extremely dangerous. We both like to prowl around at night and sleep during the day. We both have excellent night vision. And we both can get humans to do pretty much whatever we want.
And yet, while there are similarities, we cats have have a startling number of advantages over vampires. Here are some of them:
- Cats are MUCH, MUCH cuter than vampires
- Cats won’t drink your blood (we may scratch you and draw blood, but that’s as far as we go)
- Vampires will not sit on your lap while you read or watch TV
- Cats are impervious to garlic (a huge advantage for Italian families that like to cook)
- Cats will let you pick them up and cuddle them (try THAT with a vampire!)
- Vampires won’t let you rub their tummy like we cats will (well…for a couple seconds until we grab your arm anyway)
- Cats like exciting music such as rockabilly and emo, whereas vampires would rather listen to boring dirges from medieval times
- Cats will (grudgingly) let you dress them up in ridiculous clothing (don’t even THINK about trying THAT with a vampire!)
- Cats are photogenic… vampires, when their fangs are down, are pretty ugly
- Vampires DO NOT purr
So the next time your human starts gushing about how amazing vampires are, turn on the charm and let them know that cats make much better pets. After all, we have many vampire-like attributes with none of the disadvantages, the primary one being that a vampire might drink a human's blood and kill them, whereas we kitties… well, as long as our humans continue to love us and do our bidding would never do such a thing!