Friday, March 12, 2010

Daylight Savings Time

Well, fellow cats, spring is almost here, and with it comes daylight savings time. Yes, that’s right… it’s that oh-so-discombobulating time of year when humans set their clocks forward one hour to make the sunny part of the day longer. How setting clocks forward one hour affects the astral relationship between the sun and the Earth is beyond me, but I’ll leave that one for greater minds to figure out. All I know is, setting clocks back and forth is VERY confusing and messes everything (and everyone) up.

But, there’s a silver lining to all this! The advent of daylight savings time allows me to present an advance excerpt from my forthcoming book, The World Is STILL Your Litter Box, which will be out toward the end of May. Here’s the “Daylight Savings Section” of the chapter entitled “Confusing Enigmas for Cats.”

Daylight Savings Time: Here’s one that even humans find to be a cause of consternation and falls into the category of “Why do they do it to themselves?” In order to save energy or whatever, humans have come up with something called daylight savings time, which requires them to set their clocks forward one hour in the spring and one hour back in the fall. This is especially inconvenient in the modern age, when most households have at least 86 devices with digital clocks that are highly complicated to reset. Anyway, in the spring, as a result of this ill-conceived idea, 7:00 a.m. becomes 8:00 a.m., and in the fall, 7:00 a.m. becomes 6:00 a.m. I know, it’s TOTALLY confusing. It bollixes up natural sleep patterns, and for the two or three days it takes to adjust to the time change, everyone is inordinately cranky (me included). Unfortunately for humans, our internal kitty clocks are not quite so easily resettable. Therefore, in the spring, we wake our humans one hour later, and in the fall, we wake them one hour earlier. Hey, if humans wouldn’t monkey around with the natural order of things, none of this would happen, so they have only themselves to blame.

Anyway, fellow cats, don’t forget to remind your human to set their clocks forward one hour this Sunday. And think of the joy you’ll have waking them up at your normal time, which will, in fact, be one hour earlier. Oh how I love human foibles!

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