Thursday, September 2, 2010

Steve's Female Has a Stinger (Part 2)

About a week ago, I told you that Steve’s female has somehow developed a stinger (like a bee) that she uses on me when I go after Piglet for his futile and laughable incursions on my position as the alpha male in the house. Since then, the finest scientific minds in the world (well… mine, anyway) have been trying to figure out what the dilly-o is with the female’s stinger, and I think I’ve discovered a couple clues.

First, before the female “stings” me, she opens a drawer in her desk and pulls out something that appears to be stretchy, circular, and made out of rubber or some other type of flexible material. It’s pretty small, so it’s hard to see exactly what it is. [Note from Steve: It’s a rubber band.] The female then pulls back on it, aims it at my hindquarters (which are large and hard to miss), and lets it go. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I feel a little ouch-producing sting, which is VERY irritating. How does the female do it? There must be some connection between the circular flexible object and the female’s stinger, but I can’t quite figure out what it is. I’ll keep working on it, though. Oh, yes.

Meanwhile, I’ve come up with a way to deal with Piglet when he challenges my alpha maleness, and that is, I simply wait until Steve and his female leave the house, then I pummel some sense into the little bugger. Naturally, Steve and the female considered the possibility that this might happen, so they made Pig a “Panic Room,” where he can run to when I go after him, the little wuss (shown in the photo above). As you can see, Pig’s “Panic Room” is not exactly the Maginot Line, so I can quite easily penetrate the defenses if I really need to. Usually, though, I just let him run in there and think about his transgressions for awhile before I let him come out. Alpha males rule!

On another note, Steve (my typist) and his female are going away for the weekend (they’ll pay for that, too), so I want to take a moment to wish everyone a happy Labor Day Weekend!


Katnip Lounge said...

This stinger thingy is a mystery! We're sure glad our People don't have stingers.

They DO have the Evil Squirt Bottle, though.


If Piglet gets a Panic Room, you deserve no less than a Royal Alpha-Male Castle Box.

Terry R said...

Royal Alpha-Male Castle Boxes are being sold on corners and parking lots all over Phoenix ... Quasi should come here to shop for one.