Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Quasi's Idea for Winning the Fight in Afghanistan

Like pretty much all Americans, cats, humans and otherwise, I would like to see the conflict in Afghanistan brought to a swift conclusion, and for our troops to come home safe and sound. To such an effect, I’ve come up with an idea that I think will help win the fight quickly and decisively. In fact, it’s such a great idea, I can’t believe some other cat didn’t think of it before.

As everyone knows, we cats are finely-tuned fighting machines, and perhaps the most fearsome tools in our arsenal are our ultra-mighty back legs. Science has proven that the force generated by a cat’s bunny-kicking back legs, pound for pound, is more powerful than an exploding supernova or a combination of five neutron bombs. Actually I just made that up, but still… no cat (or human) who’s been on the receiving end of the rear-legged defense can deny the sheer, unmitigated destructive force. When our back legs get to pumpin’ with claws fully extended… look out!

So here’s my idea… we’re using drones in Afghanistan, right? Well, why not simply equip those drones with mechanical back cat legs? Then, the drones could fly low over the enemy, but instead of dropping bombs, the back kitty legs could be activated and the Taliban (or whoever) could be pummeled and scratched into submission. Hey, it may sound crazy, but they laughed at the Wright Brothers and Bill Gates too.

As a good American kitty, I would certainly be willing to allow my back legs to be used as a design prototype, and I’m sure other patriotic felines would be more than happy to make the same offer. So how about it, Department of Defense? Let’s quit “pussy footing” around over there and win this thing with the awesome, formidable firepower of a cat’s back legs.


Katnip Lounge said...

We love it! And while we're at it, let's drop litter box "bombs", too. Our have been known to bring a grown man to his knees...

Ozark Mountain Cats said...

Wow, you should of brought this subject up a long time ago. I don't know which one I like more, yours or Katnip Lounge's dirty bomb idea.