Saturday, July 3, 2010

Happy 4th of July!

OMG, the 4th of July is upon us! Time, once again, for American humans to celebrate the founding of the country and go REALLY crazy with fireworks, BBQs and oceans of beer. Yes, on the 4th, the good ‘ole US of A will be 234 years old (or, approximately 1638 in cat years). Let the festivities begin!

To honor American and its founding fathers, especially those among them who were cat lovers, I thought I’d share my personal take on the holiday from a kitty’s perspective. Here’s an excerpt from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)” chapter of my first book, The World Is Your Litter Box….

4th of July: The birthday of America with lots of patriotic razzle-dazzle, but not a good holiday for cats. Most Americans celebrate the 4th with backyard barbeques that fill the air with noxious, cloying smoke (Fools! Do they think global warming is a myth?) Then when it gets dark, after gorging themselves and drinking copious amounts of beer, they go and watch explosions in the sky. While some of these explosions are quite pretty (and quite psychedelic if you’ve been sniffing catnip), they are loud and VERY SCARY. Apart from seeing homes festooned with American flags and hearing off-key versions of the Star Spangled Banner played by horrible high school bands, and the possibility of eating leftover BBQ, there is not much for a cat to look forward to on the 4th of July except the return of sanity on the 5th. Also, the 4th of July is a time you outdoor cats should stay inside. Believe it or not, some twisted humans will actually go out of their way to torment cats with fireworks. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!”

Here’s wishing everyone (cat, human and otherwise) a safe, happy and fun-filled 4th of July! And fellow cats, don’t worry… those dreaded boom-booms in the sky will only last 15-20 minutes or so. Still, just before the mayhem begins, you might want to find a safe place to hide, like under the bed or in a closet, where the boom-booms can’t get to you.

1 comment:

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Happy 4th to you too. There is much to celebrate tomorrow.