Friday, September 23, 2011

The Troubled Economy and How Cats Can Help (Part 2)

In my continuing effort to personally resolve all of America's economic problems, I've come up with yet another meritorious idea to help right the ship and get the economy back on track. For this one, I'll need every able-bodied cat in the USA to help me. But don't worry, my fellow Americats...  you won't have to go to work or give up any precious nap time. The concept is so simple, I can't believe some other cat (or government genius) didn't think of it before! My idea...

                NATIONAL PURR DAY

Here's how it will work... On a given date and time (to be determined), every American human will sit in their favorite chair and hold a kitty on their lap. For humans who don't have cats (poor devils!), one cat will be issued to each person for this event. Then, upon a signal from President Obama - perhaps the popping open of a can of cat food on national TV - all cats across the USA will begin purring simultaneously. This will create a soothing, rumbling nationwide vibration, which will make everyone feel happy and serene. Just think of it... the purring of power of cats harnessed for the good of all mankind!

Well, fellow cat, right about now, you're probably thinking something along the lines of, "Hey, I love it! But how will a national purr-out solve our economic ills?" Well, to be perfectly honest, it won't. But, like FDR said back in the Great Depression, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself, and if everyone just calms down a bit, things can only get better. Right?

And hey all you kitties... even if National Purr Day never becomes a reality, you can still jump up in your human's lap and purr whenever you want. After all, as all cat people know, things can never really be THAT bad when you've got a purring kitty on your lap.

No comments: