Sunday, December 28, 2008

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Well, fellow cat and cat lovers, 2008 has finally come to an end and a new year has begun. Out with the old and in with the new! For your pleasure and amusement, here’s the “New Years Eve” section from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)” chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box

New Years Eve: For some reason, many humans like to begin the new year by celebrating wildly, drinking to excess, and throwing up (and they call us animals!). At midnight, these well-oiled pagans yell “HAPPY NEW YEAR,” hug and kiss other humans they normally hate, then sing “Old Lang Syne” and get all blubbery. This is a holiday that does not hold a lot of promise for cats. Most likely your house will be filled with loud, obnoxious strangers and you will have to seek refuge in one of your favorite hiding places. However, there are a couple benefits. First of all, when humans have parties, their guests often leave their coats on the bed in a darkened bedroom. This provides you with an excellent opportunity to sleep on different clothing (and to leave cat hair all over it and teach the intruders a lesson for disturbing YOUR peace and quiet). The best part of New Years Eve, however, is when all the revelers finally go home. In most cases, your human will be too tired (or too wasted) to clean up the mess. When they finally noodle out, the remaining food and debris is YOURS FOR THE TAKING. Because your human will probably sleep soundly for hours, you can eat as much as you want and play among the ruins to your heart’s content. Sex and drugs and rock ‘n roll!

NOTE #1: If you come across a bottle with a small amount of liquid still inside... go ahead and taste it, but DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK. One New Years Eve, I knocked over and drank about a third of a bottle of beer and, oooooh wheeee, it really twisted my head around. I must admit, fellow celebrant, that I got a little goofy my own self. Ultimately, I ended up falling asleep and missing most of the fun. So be careful what you drink. And before you “party hearty, appoint a designated kitty.

NOTE #2: Because humans tend to become a little wobbly when they drink, be sure to stay out of their way to avoid being stepped on, or crushed if they pass out and tip over. Also, for you outdoor cats, stay away from the street where reckless and sometimes drunk drivers abound.

Along with Steve and his female, I want to wish you and yours all the very best in 2009!

21 comments:

Fred said...

No party this year...just TV.

Happy New Year to you, too!

Evie/VampyVictor said...

I thinks I will just hide in the bedroom like I does every year :)
Happy New Year! :)

V-V

Name: Mr. Hendrix said...

Great tips! Thanks Quasi. I get put into my "safe room" with food, my litterbox and a TV. No stickly little beans to pull my tail or accidentally let me outside.

Guess what we saw in the Feb 2009 issue of Cat Fancy magazine...YOU! That is right! Contributor Sandy Robins gave you the "Kitty Knows It All Award". Congratulations, it is cool to see one of my friends in a magazine.

Tiger Lily said...

Congratulations on being written up in Cat Fancy ~ that is very exciting!

We wish you all a very Happy New Year!! If Mom and my Daddy ever have a party we will remember your tips.

{{{{HUGS}}}}

prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs and tail wags,
Zeke, Sushi, Tiger Lily and Ruckus

Jan's Funny Farm said...

We stopped by to congratulate you on your award in Cat Fancy. That's really neat.

Samantha and Mr. Tigger said...

Merry Belated Christmas and a Happy New Year to you, too!! Congratulations on the Award from Cat Fancy!! That is so cool!!
Your FL furiends,

peggy and The Cats said...

Happy Holidays! And congratulations on becoming a celebrity :)

Mickey,Georgia , Tillie said...

Very good advice Quasi!!!!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Purrs Mickey,Georgia & Tillie

The Island Cats said...

Congrats on your award in Cat Fancy magazine! That's purrty cool!

Happy New Year!!!

Wally, Ernie & Zoey

Lone Star Purrs said...

It's furry nice nice to meet you! ::purrs::
~Meeko & Kiara

Kiddo said...

Concats on being in Cat Fancy magazine!!
Kiddo

MaoMao said...

hehe, I'm glad my mom and dad aren't into the pawtayin!

ConCATulashuns on yur award from Cat Fancy! That's wunnerful and furry ecksiting.

We wish you and yur beans a wunnerful Happy New Year!

Kittyhugs and purrs from MaoMao and alla the Ballicai!

zevo hussein calamari said...

Thank you for the great advice. Our pet humans are boring and do not invite over other humans to throw up.

May 2009 bring you and your family happines, good health and prosperity.

love
zevo and the pooses for peace

BeadedTail said...

Great tips! Congrats on your Cat Fancy award! Happy New Year!

Everycat said...

Great tips as ever, thanks Quasi!

We wish you a Very Happy & Peaceful 2009!

Whicky Wuudler

ThumbPer said...

Dood!

Mah dadby juss leff Cat Fancee magazeen opin an I sawr yer buke en et!

Happny Noo Yeer, budd!

Derby said...

Happy New Year.

oldwhitelady said...

No loud partygoers here. One fun thing all cats know, too, is when people are wobbly, and they know kitty is there, they try not to step on kitty. What fun watchint the wobbling and possibly falling of the partygoer!

The kitties and I stayed home and celebrated with a NEW box. It was actually sitting, empty, on the full couch. Someone jumped up and knocked it down. Kitties decided it was a grand hotel room, or a chew toy, take your pick.

Happy New Year!

China Cat said...

Willow and I hope that you and your family have a very Happy New Year!

Purrrrrrrrrs, China Cat

Name: Mr. Hendrix said...

Hey Quasi! It is the Feb 2009 issue so I'm not sure if the store's have it (we get it in the mail) If your man can't find it, we'll be happy to mail you our copy.

Take care and we hope you didn't have to hang over anything yesterday morning like my daddy did.

Mama Cat said...

I'm glad my Tall Ones go somewhere else for New Year's Eve. I can only imagine. Great blog!