BOOK EXPO AMERICA

This weekend, at my behest, Steve and his female will be attending Book Expo America (BEA), which is the mother of all book trade shows… book industry humans come from all around the country to attend. Too scary for cats, though. I think even Shill, my robotic book signing emissary kitty, will pass on this one.

This year, BEA is being held in Los Angeles, which is highly convenient (and cheap) for Steve and his female. They’ll be in the Sterling Publishing booth schmoozing with anyone who will listen to them and spreading the word about The World Is Your Litter Box. And here’s the best part (for moi, anyway)… being a cat author, I don’t have to do anything! While Steve and the female are spending endless hours in a packed, teeming conventional hall promoting MY book, I’ll be… that’s right, at home napping in all my favorite places.

Is it great to be a literary lion (or, at least, a literary kitty) or what?

BOOKPLATES FOR THE WORLD IS YOUR LITTER BOX

Personalized bookplates for The World Is Your Litter Box, my outlandishly funny how-to manual for cats, are now available! If you would like an autographed bookplate to place inside your copy of the book, signed by Steve and stamped by Quasi, send your request to quasi@theworldisyourlitterbox.com. Please specify who you want the bookplate made out to (you can include your cats if you like), and BE SURE to include an address where the signed bookplate can be sent.

These handsome bookplates are FREE and we’ll even pay the postage… but please, only one to a customer!

Your Friend,
Quasi

KITTY BRINGS TRAIN RIDERS BACK!

Without question, Japan is a country that truly knows the value of cats! Last week, Hello Kitty was named Japan’s tourism ambassador, and now we learn that last year, a Japanese train company appointed a tabby cat named Tama to the position of super station master at the Kishi station in Western Japan.

The Kishikawa line had been losing around $4.9 million a year as passenger numbers declined. Since Tama’s appointment, however, the number of train riders has steadily climbed back up and people are flocking to the Kishi station to see Tama and have their picture taken with her.

All of this makes perfect sense, since in Japan, cats are considered to be good luck and beneficial to business. Nice work, Tama, and may you be rewarded with all the sushi you can eat!

MEMORIAL DAY

On this Memorial Day weekend, let's all take a few moments to remember the humans who made ultimate sacrifices to protect and defend the way of life we hold so dear. I wish there were no wars, but I give wholehearted thanks the men and women who fought and died in them on our behalf.

And let's also use this opportunity to remember all the wonderful kitties who graced us with their presence and have now gone to the rainbow bridge. Thank you for the years of joy you gave us, and thank you for enriching our lives with your unconditional love.

Thank you one and all.

AMERICAN IDOL WINNER

Congratulations to David Cook for being chosen as the new American Idol. Being an old rock ‘n roller myself (mostly a roller), I’m glad to see that a rocker made it over a crooner.

I do, however, have two other comments about American Idol:

• All contestants should be asked if they love cats. If they don't, they should be harshly castigated by Simon and booted off the show immediately.


• I would STILL rather be chased around the house by the hated vacuum cleaner than have to watch one episode of American Idol. Steve agrees with me, but the female is a huge Idol fan… so, needless to say, American Idol stays on in our household.

THE NEW TOURISM AMBASSADOR IN JAPAN IS...

Last Monday, the tourism ministry in Japan announced the appointment of its new goodwill ambassador to represent the country in China and Hong Kong. Out of the approximately 127,433,494 humans in Japan, and after what I’m sure was very careful consideration, they gave the tourism ambassador position to… HELLO KITTY!

Now consider this, fellow felines… of all those millions of humans in Japan, NOT ONE was deemed capable enough to handle the intense pressure and skull-numbing demands of being a goodwill ambassador for tourism. So once again, as has happened so many times throughout the course of human history, a cat has ridden to the rescue! Sure Hello Kitty is an imaginary cat with no mouth, but she’s a cat just the same.

This proves one very simple point: When it comes to important political appointments, such as goodwill tourism ambassador, cats are far superior to humans. Even a cat that has no mouth and can’t eat sushi, poor thing!

CAT MOVIES RULE!

This past weekend, "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" took in a cool $56.6 million at the box office and blew "Iron Man" out of first place, providing once again that movies with any type of connection to cats (big or small) rule!

As you may or may not know, your friend Quasi was actually up for the part of Aslan the Lion in the first Narnia movie, but being the spoiled narcissist I am, I wanted too much money, and even Disney couldn't afford me. Actually, that's not true, but it looks SO good in print, I couldn't resist writing it!

HELP FOR CATS (AND ALL OTHER ANIMALS) IN MYANMAR

Last week, as I’m sure you know, a cyclone devastated Myanmar and left thousands (people and animals) dead, injured, and/or in dire need of assistance. In situations like this, most international rescue organizations focus on the human aspects of the suffering, but fortunately, there are other organizations devoted solely to helping animals that are facing illness, starvation and death. Needless to say, major disasters such as the Myanmar cyclone (and the earthquake in China) put a tremendous drain on the resources of animal rights and rescue organizations, so if you can, you might want to consider a donation to one or more of them.

Here are links to three organizations that are directly involved in easing the suffering of our animal friends in Myanmar:

World Society for the Protection of Animals (WSPA)

International Fund for Animal Welfare (IFAW)

Humane Society of the United States (HSUS)

KITTEN SEASON

Hey fellow cats, as you probably already know, it’s kitten season! Time for your human to go to the local shelter and adopt a lovable little bundle of fluff that will bring a lifetime a joy to your household.

Now, you’re probably thinking, Geez, Quasi, I don’t know… kittens can be rambunctious and annoying. Won’t they disturb my napping routine? Well sure, kittens CAN be a pain in the hindquarters, but hey… they provide hours of entertainment, they make perfect little acolytes and partners in crime, and if you create a little destructive mayhem yourself, you can always pin the blame on them. And you never know… one of them might grow up to be a world-famous author like me (HA-HA!).

So if you have room in your house and heart, use your kitty wiles to let your human know that you want a new little friend or two or three RIGHT NOW! With kitten season upon us, there will be multitudes of kittens in need of good and loving homes. Besides… is there ANYTHING on Earth cuter than a kitten?

MEET MY BOOK-SIGNING EMISSARY

On Saturday, on my behalf, Steve did the first book signing for The World Is Your Litter Box at Trinkets & Treasures in Studio City, California. A good time was had by all and the signing was a smashing success… 27 books were sold, which, I am told, is a lot for a book signing (unless you’re J.K. Rowling or Stephen King or some famous author like that).

I would also like to introduce you to Shill, my new book-signing emissary. Shill is a cute robotic kitty that can meow, purr, hiss, turn his head and lift his tail… and he’s not afraid to leave the house, ride in a car, or appear in front of dozens of people, all of which would be mucho scary to a real cat like me. Besides, having Shill stand in for me at book signings means I won’t have to make any changes to my napping schedule. So if Steve does a signing in your area, be sure to come by and pet Shill. Even though he’s robotic, he’s still a cat and loves attention.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Here's a big cat wish to all moms (human, kitty and otherwise) for a most happy Mother's Day. Don't forget to do something special for dear 'ole mom today... or, at least, be sure to give her a call. After all, where would any of us be without our mothers?

WHAT EVERY CAT WANTS

The other day, I unilaterally decided that certain upgrades around the homestead were in order, so I’ve convinced Steve and his female to buy me what every cat really wants more than anything in the world. Yes, that’s right… a high-tech, state-of-the-art, self-cleaning litter box!

So, once again, I turn to you, my friends in the cat blogosphere, for advice on self-cleaning litter boxes. Do they really work? What’s the best brand? Any particular problems I should look out for? And remember… I want the best! After all, now that I’m a famous “literary lion” (HA-HA), I can’t use just any old junky litter box!

WANT TO BE A BOOK REVIEWER?

Have you ever read a convoluted book review and thought to yourself, “I could write a better review than THAT!” Well, fellow cats (and humans), here’s your chance. If you bought The World Is Your Litter Box from Amazon.com, you’re entitled to write a review and tell everyone on Earth what you think of the book. Just go to Amazon’s page for The World Is Your Litter Box, find the “review” link and have at it. Needless to say, it would be most helpful if you said something nice, but all constructive comments would be welcome… hey, I can take the heat! If you bought the book on-line from Barnes & Noble or Border’s (or any other on-line book seller for that matter), you can write a review on their respective pages.

Also, on Monday, Amazon sold out of its first batch of The World Is Your Litter Box and had to order more copies. This means that my clever plan to get the book into the paws of cats worldwide by disguising it as a cute cat book is working! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

CATS DUMPED FOR RIDICULOUS REASONS

Yesterday on-line, I read a story from the Daily Mail in London about cats who were dumped by their horrid humans for completely ridiculous reasons. A Persian cat named Duchess was given away because she had a long coat and her human didn’t want to take the time to brush her! A black cat named Max was abandoned because he couldn’t handle being bullied by a boisterous child… personally, I would have given the CHILD away. And if you can believe this, another cat was taken to a shelter because she didn’t match her human’s carpet!

THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS, UNACCEPTABLE HUMAN BEHAVIOR AND MUST NOT BE TOLERATED. If you hear of anything like this going on in your neighborhood, report the human miscreant to the proper authorities (whoever they might be)… or, at the very least, kak up a hairball on their front stoop to teach them a lesson they shan’t soon forget. You might also remind them that even though this is Be Kind to Pets week, humans should be kind to pets EVERY WEEK of the year!

THE WEDDING OF BEAR & ODIE

On Sunday, I officiated at the virtual wedding of Bear and Odie, two of my Catster friends that tied the knot in Meowi (that’s Maui to you non-kitties). Odie was an exquisitely-beautiful bride, Bear was a strikingly-handsome groom, and all the guests looked stunning in their formal finery. The wedding was very well attended and a good time was had by all… even if ‘ol Reverend Quasi was a little shaky on his ceremonial skills. I guess I shouldn’t have had that strong meow-tai to calm my nerves beforehand. At any rate, Bear and Odie, your vows were inspirational and I wish you many happy years together as mancat and wife.

THE WORLD IS YOUR LITTER BOX AVAILABLE NOW!

Much to my amazement and surprise, The World Is Your Litter Box, my wildly-funny how-to manual for cats, is ALREADY IN MANY BOOK STORES!!! I knew the on-line booksellers had shipped Litter Box, but I didn’t think it would actually be in stores until May 6th. I guess strange things happen in the publishing industry… or maybe Sterling Publishing just succumbed to the demands of cats around the world and put it out early. At any rate, your friend Quasi is now officially a published author!

Sincere and heartfelt thanks to everyone (kitties and humans) who have bought The World Is Your Litter Box, and thanks in advance to everyone who plans to pick up a copy. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!