HAVE A NICE TRIP?

Here’s a news story that should give you pause (or, should I say… paws) for thought. According to the Center for Disease Control & Prevention, cats (us) and dogs (them) cause 86,000 trip-and-fall injuries to American humans every year…. although dogs, being the oafs that they are, inflict far more damage than us careful, thoughtful felines. Of course, some of these injuries occur when humans stumble over pet toys and food bowls. Can’t they just watch where they’re going!

Apparently, cats cause 11.7% of trip-and-fall injuries. Hey, can we help it if our humans trip over us when we’re weaving sinuously around their legs, racing around the house, or crowding them while they prepare our food? But if you think THAT's bad, how about this… dogs cause a whopping 88% of fall-related injuries. What rubes! Most dog-related injuries occur when humans take ‘ole Rover out for a walk on a leash and get roughly pulled or pushed, which accounts for the huge lead dogs have over cats in the injury-causing department. Clearly, we kitties have some catching up to do!

Fortunately, most of the injuries inflicted on our humans are not too serious… usually nothing more than a sprain or, at worst, a broken bone. Still, fellow cats and dreaded dogs, let’s try to be a bit more careful around our humans. After all, they can’t help it if they’re klutzes.

PHOTOS OF CAT READERS

Here’s a special meow out to Kali, Mazi and Simba (and, oh yes, their human Kathy) of Lancaster, California, who sent us some wonderful photos of the cats with their copy of The World Is Your Litter Box for inclusion on the Litter Box website. Steve and I are always VERY happy to hear from kitties (and humans) who are enjoying the book.

Kathy and her cats also have a blog titled “Bengal Cat Domination,” and the March 19th post features several photos of Kali, Mazi and Simba with The World Is Your Litter Box, along with some very funny captions and nice comments about the book. Here’s a link to the blog…

http://bengalcatdomination.blogspot.com/

And while we’re on the subject of photos, I'd like to remind all my kitty readers that we would love to have a photo of you posed with your copy of The World Is Your Litter Box so we can add it to our website. For information on where to send your photo, and for a look at our current gallery of erudite cats, please visit the “Photos of Cat Readers” page on the Litter Box website.

HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!

March 17th, as I’m sure you know, is Saint Patrick’s Day… a day in which humans of Irish descent honor Saint Patrick by wearing something green and drinking lots of alcohol, most often something like Guinness Stout. In some places that tend to be a bit on the rowdy side, well-oiled Irish humans also like to fight and get all blubbery singing off-key versions of traditional Irish songs like “Danny Boy.”

So what’s in it for us cats, you ask? Well, Saint Patrick, being one of the patron saints of Ireland, is said to have driven all the snakes out of the country, which had to be a good thing for all the Irish kitties at the time. But for all you modern-day kitties (Irish or not), the best thing would probably be to stay out of your human’s way if they’re drinking or fighting, or both. You certainly don’t want to celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day by getting stepped on or squished. Also, many humans, Irish and otherwise, like to dress their cats in something green like a sweater or a little cap or something like that. I know, it sounds embarrassing, but in the spirit of the holiday, you might want to be magnanimous and let your human get away with it. Hey, they might even feel festive enough to pour a little Guinness in your water dish… if the luck ‘o the Irish is with you, that is.

Regardless, here’s wishing you and your human a very happy Saint Patrick’s Day. Erin go braugh!

TAILS MAGAZINE LOVES THE WORLD IS YOUR LITTER BOX

Here’s a very nice review of The World Is Your Litter Box from the Tails Magazine e-newsletter for this week. Thanks to Renee Krejci and the entire gang at the Pet Media Group… we really appreciate it....

WHAT WE'RE READING

The World Is Your Litter Box: A How-To Manual for Cats

by Steve Fisher(Sterling)

This book makes for a light and funny read. Just be sure not to leave it where Fluffy can find it! In this handy manual, Quasi the 18-pound cat gives advice to his fellow felines. The book includes tips for cats on everything from how to look cute and get away with unacceptable kitty behavior to annoying humans who are allergic to cats. Quasi's writing will surely have you laughing out loud and Fluffy plotting world domination in no time!

Hard copy versions of Tails are available free at many veterinarian offices… yes, that’s right, the hated vet, and at other pet oriented locations. For more information about Tails Magazine and their e-newsletter, visit http://www.tailsinc.com/.

PURIM... AND PURR-IM

On March 10th, humans of the Jewish faith will celebrate Purim, which commemorates the day in ancient history when Queen Esther saved the Jews in Babylonian captivity from the hands of Haman, the royal vizier to King Ahasuerus, who planned to kill them. Each year, the deliverance of the Jews in Babylonia is celebrated with prayers, gifts, and a festive meal known as the Feast of Purim.

Now, here’s something you might not know... Queen Esther was also the supreme cat lover in the land at the time. So, after saving the Jews in Babylonia, she rounded up all the local Jewish kitties and gave them treats, toys, and the unalienable right to claw the arms of the couches. Today, while Jewish humans celebrate Purim, Jewish kitties celebrate Purr-im with a big party and lots of treats, including ham pate-filled cat cookies called ham-and-treatsen (shown in the photo).

Mazel Tov!

UH-OH, IT'S DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME AGAIN!

In their ever-amazing infinite wisdom, humans have developed something called daylight savings time, which involves setting the clocks ahead one hour in the spring and setting them back one hour in the fall. Why? Who the heck knows? To me, it just seems like one more thing humans have come up with to confound themselves and make their lives even more complicated. And, of course, there are always those dummies who forget to turn their clocks back (or forward) and end up early (or late) for work or whatever.

But Quasi, you ask, how does this daylight savings thing affect us cats? Well, as you know, all felines have internal kitty alarm clocks, but our clocks are not really sophisticated enough to be turned back and forward on a moment’s notice. We require a period of adjustment, and during that period of adjustment, our humans must pay for their folly. For example, let’s say you wake your human at 7:00 each morning. When clocks are turned ahead one hour, as they will be on Sunday, 7:00 AM becomes 8:00 AM… so, until your kitty clock resets, your human will be awakened at 8:00 AM, or, what used to be 7:00 AM. I know, confusing, huh? As Marvin Gaye once sang, it makes me wanna holler, throw up both my hands (or, in our cases, paws).

At any rate, make sure your human sets all their clocks ahead one hour before they go to bed on Saturday, or when they wake up on Sunday.

HARD AT WORK ON NEW CAT BOOK!

If you're wondering why I haven't been posting as much lately, it’s because Steve and I are hard at work on the follow up to The World Is Your Litter Box. The new book is titled The World Is STILL Your Litter Box… hey, you can’t say the creative juices aren’t flowing around here! I’m very excited about the book so far. If you enjoyed The World Is Your Litter Box, I’m pretty sure you’ll REALLY like the new one!

As you can imagine, writing a book is very time consuming, (and VERY tiring, as you can see from the photo above), so I want to apologize for not keeping in touch with my blogging pals as often as I should. I certainly don’t mean to ignore anyone! I'll continue to post on my own blog (and yours) whenever I can. I’ll also keep you up to date on the progress of The World Is STILL Your Litter Box and let you know when it will be available, etc. And from time to time, I'll include a little "taste" from the new book for you to read and comment on.

Meanwhile, I hope everything is going well with you and I wish you all the best!

Your Friend & Kitty Author,

Quasi

GOODBYE SOCKS

Socks Clinton, the former first cat, has gone to the Rainbow Bridge. Socks was 19 or 20, which for a kitty is a nice long life.

Socks was adopted by the Clintons’ daughter Chelsea when her father was the governor of Arkansas, and like the good cat he was, he brought much happiness to the entire Clinton family. When Bill Clinton was elected president, Socks came along to Washington and had complete run of the White House. There is no truth to the rumors that Socks clawed up Lincoln couch, shredded the Declaration of Independence, or kacked up excessive hairballs in the Oval Office. He did, however, delight in getting cat hair on important world leaders (actually, I don’t know that for a fact, but hey, ALL us kitties love getting cat hair on people, right?).

When the Clintons left the White House in 2001, Socks went to live with Betty Currie, President Clinton’s former secretary, who adored Socks and gave him a wonderful home for the rest of his life.

Nap in peace, Socks.

THE ECONOMIC STIMULUS PACKAGE - WHAT'S IN IT FOR CATS?

The multi-billion dollar stimulus package, intended to help resurrect the economy that was basically screwed up by short-sighted (and greedy) humans, was signed into law by President Obama on Tuesday.

Now this is all fine and good, but what I really want to know is… how will the stimulus package be of benefit to us cats? Needless to say, I don’t have time to paw through the thousand-plus pages of details, so I thought I’d pose a few question to my kitty friends in the blogosphere, who may have some answers.

Will the stimulus package…

• Put more (and tastier) cat food in our bowls?
• Provide us with better health care coverage for trips to the hated vet?
• Help our humans find jobs so we can take extra long naps while they’re at work?
• Put more money in our humans’ pockets so they can spend it on us?
• Improve our schools so children can learn more about cats?
• Help American workers build better and safer cat toys?
• Help decrease global warming and increase global purring?
• Help reduce our dependence on foreign catnip?

If anyone has the answers to some or all of these questions, please let me know. Meanwhile, let’s hope the stimulus package proves helpful to cats, humans, and all other living things.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Well, it’s that time of year again when a young cat’s fancy turns to love, although yours truly is a hunk-a-hunk-a burnin’ love 365 days a year. Still, there’s nothing like having a special day dedicated to amour for everyone to enjoy and remember how important love truly is. I hope everyone has someone special to share it with.

For your loving (and laughing) pleasure, here’s the “Valentine’s Day” excerpt from the “Holiday Fun & Danger” chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box…

Valentine’s Day: A good holiday for cats. Love is in the air and typically, male humans give female humans gifts such as candy and flowers. This means you will have wrapping paper and ribbons to play with and flowers to sniff (and eat). If your human gets a box of candy and leaves the top off, you can have the sumptuous pleasure of licking and sampling each individual piece. Because humans tend to get all mushy and gooey on Valentine’s day, you can usually expect to receive a little extra lovin’ yourself, and maybe even a present. Steve and his female are such shameless cat lovers that they always buys me a Valentine present, usually a cat toy, catnip, or the most expensive kind of kitty food. Ain’t love grand!

NOTE: In some instances on Valentine’s Day, your human may pay more attention to another human than you. This is UNACCEPTABLE HUMAN BEHAVIOR and cannot be tolerated. If your human is being amorous with another human and ignoring you, jump between (or on) them and meow loudly to express your displeasure. Then, turn your back, stick your rear end in their faces and march off in a huff. Make them understand that Valentine’s Day or not, you are numero uno and will not be ignored.

Along with Steve and his female, I want to wish you and yours a most happy Valentine’s Day!

HOW CATS CAN HELP RESOLVE AMERICA'S ECONOMIC PROBLEMS

As a good American kitty, I would like to propose a solution to all of America’s economic problems, and I call on all cats to help me. And don’t worry, mon fellow chats… you won’t have to go to work or give up any precious nap time. The concept is so simple, I can’t believe some other cat (or government genius) didn’t think of it before! My idea….

NATIONAL PURR DAY
On a given date and time (to be determined), every American human will sit in their favorite chair and hold a kitty on their lap. For humans who don’t have cats (poor devils), one cat will be issued to each person for this event. Then, upon a signal from President Obama, (perhaps the popping open of a can of cat food on national TV), all the cats will begin purring simultaneously. This will create a soothing, rumbling nationwide vibration, which will make everyone feel happy and serene. But Quasi, you ask, how will this solve our economic ills? Well, it won’t, really, but like FDR said, we have nothing to fear but fear itself, and if everyone just calms down a bit, things can only get better, right? That’s me in the photo, doing my part with Steve.

And, hey, all you kitties… even if National Purr Day never becomes a reality, feel free to jump up in your human’s lap and purr whenever you want. After all, as all cat people know, things can never be THAT bad when you’ve got a purring kitty on your lap.

SUPER BOWL SUNDAY

As I’m sure pretty much everyone on the planet (or at least in the United States) knows, February 1st is Super Bowl Sunday. This is a day for friends to gather, drink rivers of beer, eat megatons of Buffalo wings and other gristy-but-delicious junk food, and holler at the TV as gigantic padded male humans yell, growl and snarl, slam into each other, and generally fall down a lot. If a foreign power wanted to invade the U.S., Super Bowl Sunday would be a good day to do it because no one would care… just as long as it didn’t interfere with the game.

Steve and his female are not big football fans – in fact, all the Super Bowl really means to Steve is that the start of spring training for the upcoming baseball season is only two weeks away (Steve IS a major baseball fan). Still, they’ll probably watch the game like the good Americans they are, if nothing else to see Bruce Springsteen perform at half-time. I think Steve is also secretly hoping that one of the cheerleaders might have a “wardrobe malfunction” like Janet Jackson did a few years ago… but don’t tell the female that! As for me, I’ll probably hide, nap, or troll for any errant junk food remnants that might fall on the floor… or more likely, a combination of the above.

At any rate, it’s nice to have a day for Americans to come together and forget their problems for a little while as two football teams, in this case the Cardinals and the Steelers, go mano a mano on the gridiron. Bring on the testosterone!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

Today is the first day of the Chinese New Year, with 2009 being the Year of the Ox, and year 4707 on the Chinese calendar. So to all my Chinese kitty (and human) friends, let me be among the first to say GUNG HAY FAT CHOY… which loosely translated means, “Best wishes and congratulations. Have a prosperous and good year.” That's a traditional Chinese good luck cat in the photo on the left.

Now some of you curious cats might be wondering why each year on the Chinese calendar is named after an animal. Well, ‘ole Quaz Yat-Sen has the answer for you! According to legend, Buddha asked all the animals to meet him on Chinese New Year. Twelve animals showed up and Buddha named a year after each one. Unfortunately, no kitties came (they must have been napping or otherwise occupied at the time), so there is no Year of the Cat. Buddha also said that people born in a particular animal’s year would have some of that animal’s personality… which is probably too bad for people born in the Year of the Snake, the Year of the Rat, or… horror of horrors… the Year of the Dog!

Also, and how cool is this… I just found out that The World Is Your Litter Box will be released in Taiwan later this year. So all you mingows (that’s cats) in Taiwan, be on the lookout for it! What would Buddha say!

INAGURATION OF PRESIDENT OBAMA - PART 2

CONGRATULATIONS PRESIDENT OBAMA

Your Inaugural Address was stirring, especially your call for all of us to contribute. As a cat, I would like to offer my services in ridding the White House of any pesky rodents that might be hanging around.

Seriously, though, we wish you all the best in facing the enormous challenges that lie before you, and before all of us as Americans. Speaking on behalf of Steve, the female and (of course) myself, I'm glad you're our new president!

Your Friend,

Quasi

INAUGURATION OF PRESIDENT OBAMA

Along with Steve and his female, and just about everyone else on Planet Earth, I just can’t WAIT for Barack Obama’s inauguration. Also, and no offense to you conservative cats out there, it will be great to see George W. Bush in the rearview mirror, although, I think there are actually quite a number of conservatives who would agree with THAT statement! In fact, to honor Mr. Obama’s effort to reach across the aisle to members of the opposing party, I’m going to reach across the driveway and extend a paw of friendship to all the dogs in the neighborhood (well… not really).

Anyway, Tuesday will be a VERY exciting and historic day, and we intend to watch it all from the comfort of our living room… I already have my reserved seat on the back of the couch behind Steve and the female. And aside from the fact that Mr. Obama wants to get a dog for his children instead of a cat, we think he will be a great president and wish him all the very best!

COLD WEATHER AND KITTIES

Last night I was watching TV with Steve and his female (from my usual spot on the back of the couch behind their heads) and I saw that most of the country is currently paralyzed by frigidly-cold weather and lots of that white stuff that falls from the sky and piles up on the ground (snow, I believe they call it). It was kinda strange to me because, being a Southern California kitty, I’ve never seen snow or experienced those kinds of cold temperatures. Also, not to rub it in, but while most of the country is going through a mini-Ice Age, we’ve had sunny days and temperatures in the 80s in Los Angeles.

My first thought when I saw the news about all this cold, nasty weather was… how does all this affect my fellow cats that live in these areas? Can they go outside, or will they freeze their noses and the little pads on their feet? And what about kitties who literally use the outside world as their litter box? I can only imagine how uncomfortable THAT must be! And what if their drinking water freezes? Or, even worse, what if their humans run out of kitty food and can’t get to the store to buy more? It all sounds pretty harrowing to a warm weather cat like me.

But on the other hand, are there any FUN things about snow and cold weather? I’ve heard that dogs like to frolic in the snow (although dogs think pretty much anything is fun, regardless of how horrible or disgusting it might be). How about building snow-kitties? Or ice skating… it seems like it might be kind of fun to slide around on a cool, slick surface. Or maybe a nice steaming cup of tuna-flavored hot chocolate to warm you up?

Anyway, for you cold weather kitties, I hope things warm up soon. Look at it this way... in six months, it will be summer and everyone will be complaining about how hot it is!

MY SPACE GROUP FOR THE WORLD IS YOUR LITTER BOX

Along with my human, Steve, I would like to invite you to join the official My Space group for The World Is Your Litter Box. We’ve created the group to provide a forum for your thoughts and comments about the book, hopefully complimentary and nice, although you can be critical if you want… hey, we can take the heat! We also welcome book reviews and photos of readers... cat, human and otherwise. All ages are welcome, but please… no animal haters, overt weirdos or dangerous cranks.

To join the group, click http://groups.myspace.com/theworldisyourlitterbox.

NEW YEAR - NEW BOOK

Now that we’re into the new year, Steve and I are hard at work on the follow up to The World Is Your Litter Box. We don’t have an official title yet, but the working title is Litter Box 2 (How’s that for original!). I don’t want to give anything away, but let’s just say, if you liked The World Is Your Litter Box, you’ll REALLY like this one!

Now, having said all that, don’t look for the new book in the stores anytime soon. First, we have to finish writing it, and great literature like this doesn’t always come easy (especially when you’re a spoiled, coddled artiste like myself). Then it has to go through all the normal permutations of the publishing industry such as editing, layout, scheduling, etc. The new book will definitely be available before the return of Halley’s Comet, which will make its’ next appearance in mid-2061, but at this point, we can’t exactly say when. I’ll keep you posted, though, as things move along.

Meanwhile – yes here comes the first blatant, shameless plug of 2009 – if you haven’t already read The World Is Your Litter Box yet, or if you know someone who hasn’t, you have plenty of time to pick up a copy before the new book comes out. Hey, we need to keep eating while we work (especially me!).

THE WORLD IS YOUR LITTER BOX WINS "KITTY KNOWS IT ALL AWARD" IN CAT FANCY MAGAZINE

How’s this for a totally cool way to start the new year (for me, anyway!). Grab a copy of the February 2009 issue of Cat Fancy magazine, turn to Page 51, and you’ll find an article titled “They’ve Got Cattitude” by pet lifestyle expert Sandy Robins. In the article, Sandy presents five “Cattitude” awards to various cat books, and guess which book just happens to be one of the winners! Here’s an excerpt…

… And the Kitty Knows It All Award goes to a little gem called The World Is Your Litter Box: A How-To Manual for Cats, (Sterling) written by Steve Fisher. This man certainly knows his place because he claims his cat Quasi is the author. And who can resist such chapter headings as “How to Annoy Humans Who Are Allergic to Cats” and “20 Good Places to Throw Up.”

Thanks to Sandy Robins and Cat Fancy magazine for this prestigious “Cattitude” award. Steve and I are very honored to be among the winners. And you’re right, Sandy… Steve DOES know his place!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Well, fellow cat and cat lovers, 2008 has finally come to an end and a new year has begun. Out with the old and in with the new! For your pleasure and amusement, here’s the “New Years Eve” section from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)” chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box…

New Years Eve: For some reason, many humans like to begin the new year by celebrating wildly, drinking to excess, and throwing up (and they call us animals!). At midnight, these well-oiled pagans yell “HAPPY NEW YEAR,” hug and kiss other humans they normally hate, then sing “Old Lang Syne” and get all blubbery. This is a holiday that does not hold a lot of promise for cats. Most likely your house will be filled with loud, obnoxious strangers and you will have to seek refuge in one of your favorite hiding places. However, there are a couple benefits. First of all, when humans have parties, their guests often leave their coats on the bed in a darkened bedroom. This provides you with an excellent opportunity to sleep on different clothing (and to leave cat hair all over it and teach the intruders a lesson for disturbing YOUR peace and quiet). The best part of New Years Eve, however, is when all the revelers finally go home. In most cases, your human will be too tired (or too wasted) to clean up the mess. When they finally noodle out, the remaining food and debris is YOURS FOR THE TAKING. Because your human will probably sleep soundly for hours, you can eat as much as you want and play among the ruins to your heart’s content. Sex and drugs and rock ‘n roll!

NOTE #1: If you come across a bottle with a small amount of liquid still inside... go ahead and taste it, but DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK. One New Years Eve, I knocked over and drank about a third of a bottle of beer and, oooooh wheeee, it really twisted my head around. I must admit, fellow celebrant, that I got a little goofy my own self. Ultimately, I ended up falling asleep and missing most of the fun. So be careful what you drink. And before you “party hearty, appoint a designated kitty.

NOTE #2: Because humans tend to become a little wobbly when they drink, be sure to stay out of their way to avoid being stepped on, or crushed if they pass out and tip over. Also, for you outdoor cats, stay away from the street where reckless and sometimes drunk drivers abound.

Along with Steve and his female, I want to wish you and yours all the very best in 2009!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

With Christmas Day nearly upon us, here’s a little holiday entertainment for you in the form of the "Christmas" section from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)" chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box...

Christmas: The mother of all holidays... a time for joy, goodwill, and complete madness. This is a holiday that is nothing but fun for cats. The Christmas lights. The presents. The tree. The tinsel. The ornaments. The egg nog. Deck the halls indeed!

Although many stores start selling Christmas stuff in July, or so it seems, most humans start their serious Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving (although, for extra thrills and chills, some masochistic humans wait until December 24th). This means the Christmas season lasts around one month – one full month of crowded malls and post offices, angry drivers duking it out over parking spaces, mind-deadening Christmas music, maxed-out credit cards, and endless unrealistic TV commercials showing rich people buying each other plasma TVs and other expensive presents that normal mortals can’t afford. Why do humans put themselves through it? I don’t know.

But forget them. What about us cats, you say? Just what’s so special about Christmas from the feline perspective?

Well, fellow reveler, let’s start with that most traditional of holiday traditions, the Christmas tree. A week or two before Christmas, most humans bring in a fir or pine-type tree from outside and decorate it with lights, tinsel, candy canes and ORNAMENTS. These colorful shiny balls may possibly be the best thing about Christmas – the way they dangle and glisten so invitingly, just begging to be batted at. Who can resist? Not me, that’s for sure. Or you either. And why should we? After all, if our humans were truly worried about damage to their ornaments, they wouldn’t hang them in such a tempting location. So don’t be bashful, fellow sultan of swat. Whack at those ornaments until your heart’s content. And hey, if you happen to knock a few (or several) off the tree, don’t sweat it. It’s Christmas!

Then there’s the yuletide thrill of climbing the Christmas tree. However, a word of caution here. A few years back, I shinnied up my tree all the way to the top. Just as I was getting ready to do my impersonation of the Star of Bethlehem, my massive kitty girth upset the fundamental balance of gravity and the tree topped over with a resounding, tinkling crash (those ornaments DO break if they hit the floor hard enough). Naturally, Steve was pretty chagrined... although, deep down, I think he thought it was pretty funny.

It’s also great to sleep under the Christmas tree. You can even pretend you are a present if you like. And there is nothing like a refreshing drink of cool, pine-scented Christmas tree water to really get you in the holiday spirit.

Another great thing about Christmas is the presents, or, should I say, the ribbon and wrapping on the presents. The amazing thing is, fellow cat, that after all the painstaking planning, the stupefying shopping and the manual dexterity-challenging wrapping of gifts, the actual present-opening ritual is over in a matter of minutes, leaving an orgy of detritus for you to play in. Oh the joy of taking a flying leap at a mountain of crumpled-up wrapping paper, the glee of scattering colorful ribbons and bows around the living room, the unparalleled pleasure of climbing into new, unexplored empty boxes, the ego-flattering self indulgence of posing for photographs amid the rubble. And because your human won’t want you to feel left out of all the gift-giving – and receiving – they will probably buy something nice for you. In my house, its usually just a trifle like catnip or a cat toy, but hey, it’s the thought that counts, right? Besides, on top of all the other previously-mentioned delights of Christmas, an extra present is merely icing on the cake.

And of course, when the merriment finally comes to an end and your human is cleaning up the wreckage, there is nothing better than a contented-cat snooze in front of a roaring yuletide fire.

NOTE #1: Many children-humans break or become disinterested in their Christmas presents within minutes of receiving them, thus leaving them for you to play with and break further, if you so desire. Also, be sure to investigate the presents given and received by adult humans. Most likely, you will find some nice new clothing to curl up and sleep on.

NOTE #2: Sparkly and inviting as it may seem, DO NOT EAT TINSEL.

NOTE #3: Some humans will become very angry when you knock ornaments and other objects off the Christmas tree. Many will even create an ornament timber line, that is, they will only hang ornaments in positions above your reach. DON’T LET THIS STOP YOU FROM HAVING YOUR GOD-GIVEN RIGHT TO BAT AT CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS. If ornaments are placed beyond your reach, climb up the tree and rock it back and forth like a bear at Yellowstone National Park. This will surely cause a few things to fall, or at least tumble to a place where you can get at them. (For ways to combat your human's anger over broken Christmas ornaments, see chapter entitled “How to Get Away with Unacceptable Kitty Behavior.”)

Along with Steve and his female, I want to wish everyone (cat, human and otherwise) a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!

A GREAT HOLIDAY GIFT FOR CATS & CAT LOVERS

Hi fellow cats and cat lovers. ‘Tis the season to be jolly, spread some good tidings – and sell some books. Yes, that’s right… it’s time for another brazen, unabashed holiday plug for my book, The World Is Your Litter Box. Here’s a list of ten great reasons why Litter Box makes the PERFECT gift this holiday season:

• It’s the hippest, coolest cat book out this year (if I don’t say so myself!)
• It doesn’t require any complicated assembly
• It weighs only four ounces, so it’s cheap to ship
• It won’t break or fall apart on Christmas morning
• It won’t have to be returned because it doesn’t fit right
• It makes a much nicer gift than argyle socks
• It’s easy to wrap
• It’s more edible than tinsel
• It’s WAY cheaper than a plasma TV
• It’s VERY funny, and I think we can all use some good laughs right about now

So why not make it easy on yourself this year? The perfect holiday gift for cat lovers is only a bookstore away (or, if you prefer, a few clicks on Amazon.com). Ho-ho-ho!

CAT BITES SANTA!

Here’s a nice little Christmas event that didn’t go exactly as planned. During a Santa Paws photo shoot at a PetsMart store in New Jersey, a very large cat named Benny, who was sitting on Santa’s lap, became freaked out by nearby dogs (speaking in their thunderous, horrible tongue, no doubt), and BIT SANTA ON THE WRIST AND HAND!

Fortunately for everyone involved, primarily Santa and Benny, everything seems to be working out okay. Benny’s owner provided assurances that Benny has had all his vaccines and Santa said that he did not want anything to happen to Benny. However, unless Benny’s owner produces his vaccination records, Santa will have to undergo a series of rabies shots. Ouchie! Let’s hope that doesn’t have to happen.

So, fellow cat, the moral of this story is that if your human takes you to have your photo taken with Santa, biting or scratching ‘ole St. Nick is probably not the best way to show him that you’ve been a good little girl or boy. And Benny, I probably wouldn’t count on Santa coming through with that new mechanized litter box you want for Christmas this year.

A DOG IN THE WHITE HOUSE? HOW ABOUT A CAT?

Like most Americans, Steve and his female are very excited about Barack Obama being our next president. As a good tax-paying kitty (well, not really), I too am looking forward to the Obama presidency. Except for one thing…

It seems that at some point during the campaign, Obama promised his daughters that they could get a dog if he won the election and they moved into the White House. Now that’s all fine and good, and dogs do make good pets, but I DEMAND that cats get equal time! Sure, a kitty might claw up the furniture in the oval office, mangle important documents on the president’s desk, get cat hair on the clothing of important world leaders, or walk across the console in the communications room and inadvertently sever diplomatic relations with France, Great Britain and Chad… but hey, these are minor things that certainly should not disqualify one of our feline brethren from becoming a pet for the Obama girls.

So, Mr. President-Elect, even though you’ve got your hands full with the economy and what-not, how about taking a few moments out to consider the possibility of a cat in the White House. As a good American, I would even be happy to donate a copy of The World Is Your Litter Box so the presidential kitty would know exactly what to do to make their life (and yours) even more pleasant and enjoyable!

THE WORLD IS YOUR LITTER BOX - BOOK SIGNING

This Friday, from 6:00 to 9:00 PM, Steve will be signing copies of The World Is Your Litter Box at the Toluca Lake Christmas open house in - yes, that's right - Toluca Lake, California. Steve will be in front of A Tamara Dahill Salon at 10216 Riverside Drive. If you live in the area, please drop by and say hello... and maybe even buy a signed copy of Litter Box as a holiday gift for the cat lover in your life!

The Toluca Lake Christmas open house is an annual tradition where Riverside Drive is blocked off and all the merchants stay open late and give out treats like cookies and glasses of wine. Zillions of people come out and stroll around and sing Christmas carols, and of course, Santa makes an appearance for the kids. For a cat like me, it would be way scary, but for humans, its a lot of fun. Ho-Ho-Ho indeed!

THANKSGIVING & BLACK FRIDAY REDUX

Right about now, if you’re a human, you’re probably thinking, “Oh, God, I hate going back to work after the holiday” (If you’re a cat, today is pretty much like any other day). The Thanksgiving gorge-a-thon and Black Friday shopping tumult of 2008 are now history. Next stop… Christmas. Gulp!

As I’m sure you know, Black Friday was marred by complete human madness that included the death of a Wal-Mart employee who was trampled by frenzied shoppers, and a shootout at a Toys-R-Us in California that left a couple shoppers dead. This proves, once again, that cats are WAY SMARTER than people. A cat would NEVER go shopping on Black Friday, much less participate in gunplay or a rampage where other humans are trampled to death (although, in all honesty, I must say that if we cats had opposable thumbs, we probably WOULD exchange gunfire from time to time).

At any rate, please tell your human to be cool and stay frosty this holiday season. There’s plenty of time to shop, and there’s no need to trample or shoot anyone to get to that copy of The World Is Your Litter Box you’re planning to buy as a holiday gift for the cat lover in your life. Yes I know, another cheap plug for my book, but we’ve got to get in those holiday promos while we can… and at least we’re not subjecting you to nauseating Johnny Mathis Christmas music!

Black Friday

Well, fellow cat, today is Black Friday… the official start of the Christmas shopping madness. This is the day humans everywhere rush to shopping malls to take advantage of incredible bargains and spend money they don’t have on items they don’t really need. And the reason today is called “Black Friday” is that many stores open ridiculously early (when it’s still dark... hence the name) and humans line up hours earlier to take advantage of “Doorbuster” sales. Just thinking about all this makes me shake and shiver and want to hide under the bed until the return of sanity.

Now, having said all that, I would like you to remind your human that in the midst of their shopping frenzy, they should NOT forget about my book, The World Is Your Litter Box. Yes, what would Black Friday be without a crass, shameless plug from ‘ole Quaz! The World Is Your Litter Box is the perfect holiday gift for cat lovers (and for you)… and, at the recession-friendly price of just $9.95, it’s a perfect stocking stuffer.

So happy Black Friday everyone! Let the holidays begin!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Yes, once again it’s Thanksgiving… that wonderful time of year when we stop and give thanks for all the wonderful things we have. Oh, heck, who am I kidding? Sure, even in these difficult economic times, most of us have a lot to be thankful for, but right now, the big thing for humans is getting together with loved ones and slamming as much food as possible into their gaping maws.

Here’s a little Thanksgiving missive from a cat’s perspective… from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger) chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box…

Thanksgiving: A good holiday for cats, even if it’s not so good for turkeys. At Thanksgiving, human families get together to gorge themselves and good feeling is in the air (as are an abundance of good cooking smells!) In most households with male and female humans, the male usually spends the day watching football on TV while the female toils in the kitchen preparing Thanksgiving dinner. In addition to providing engrossing tension and lively, entertaining arguments, this situation will afford you a good lap to sleep in, unless your male human becomes over-exuberant and spills beer on you, and plenty of interesting activity in the kitchen. Once the table is set, you might want to jump up there and make sure all the silverware, plates, and glasses are properly arranged. And when dinner is finally served, be sure to go from person to person looking as cute (and hungry) as possible. There is nothing better than Thanksgiving turkey. Yum! Then, when dinner is over and everyone is sated beyond the point of decency, including you, you can go into the bedroom and have a nice snooze on everyone’s coats, just like on New Years Eve and other holidays during cold seasons. Yes, there is much to be thankful for.

Along with Steve and Judy (my humans), I want to wish everyone - cat, human and otherwise - a very safe and happy Thanksgiving!

THE WORLD IS YOUR LITTER BOX - THE LATEST NEWS

This weekend, Steve will wind up his Southern California book tour for The World Is Your Litter Box with signing events at Barnes & Noble in Palmdale from 1-5 PM on Saturday (11/22), and at Barnes & Noble in the Del Amo Fashion Center in Torrance from 2-5 PM on Sunday (11/23). For more information on the Palmdale event, call 661-272-9958, and for more info on the Del Amo signing, call 310-370-5552. Hope to see you at one or both of the stores.

And many thanks to those of you who have sent in photos for the “Photos of Cat Readers” page of the official The World Is Your Litter Box website… but we want MORE, MORE, MORE! If you bought The World Is Your Litter Box, (or if you intend to... it would make a great holiday gift for the cat lover in your life!), simply take a photo of your cat (or cats) posed with their copy of the book and send it to the email address shown on the “Photos of Cat Readers” page of the website. Be sure and tell us the names of any and all cats in the photo and the city where you live. We look forward to adding your kitty to the site!

RETURN FROM PARIS COLLATERAL DAMAGE REPORT

As most of you who read my posts know, Steve and his female recently returned from a week’s vacation in Paris. During their absence, I remained at home and was cared for by my pet sitter. Now even though my pet sitter is very nice and does pretty much whatever I want, it was still not the same as having Steve and the female around at all times…for me, it was inconvenient, irksome and problematic. In other words, it was UNACCEPTABLE HUMAN BEHAVIOR for which they had to pay! And if that wasn’t enough, Steve even went so far as to pet a Parisian chat, as evidenced by the above photo. Zut Alors!

Here is the room-by-room collateral damage report for the week Steve and his female were having fun in Par-ee. Needless to say, I had to do most of this on the last day so my pet sitter wouldn’t clean up my handiwork:

Kitchen:

• All accessible cabinets opened and investigated


• Bag of flour opened and spread around floor


• Bag of pasta opened and spread around floor


• Roll of paper towels unraveled and shredded


• Kacked-up hairball on counter near stove


• Excessive cat hair on everythin

Living Room:

• Arm of couch mercilessly shredded


• Chew marks on leaves of all accessible plants


• Dirt from accessible plants flung onto carpet


• Favorite paper bag shredded (I was tired of it anyway)


• Kacked-up hairball on coffee table


• Excessive cat hair on everything

Bathroom:

• Roll of toilet paper shredded into microscopic-sized pieces


• Litter from litter box excavated and flung onto floor


• Hand towels pulled down into litter box


• All items on counter knocked over and/or batted around


• Kacked-up hairball in bathtub


• Excessive cat hair on everything

Bedroom:

• Ridiculous number of pillows on bed disrupted and/or pushed onto floor


• All items on female’s dressing table knocked over and/or batted around


• Sliding closet doors opened and contents thrashed (wherever possible)


• Lamps on bed stands tipped over


• Kacked-up hairball on bedspread


• Excessive cat hair on everything

FIRES IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

Our thoughts and prayers are with all the humans, cats, and other living creatures in the paths of the devestating fires that are currently raging in Southern California. The area is tinder dry and unusually hot for this time of year, so the fire conditions are very severe. We also want to send major thanks to all the firefighters who are doing what they can to put the fires out.

A minor, but related note: Steve's book signing for The World Is Your Litter Box, which was to have taken place at Barnes & Noble in Palmdale on Saturday, was canceled due to the fires and extensive freeway closures in the Los Angeles area. The event has been rescheduled for Saturday, November 22nd, from 1-5 PM.

BACK FROM PARIS & BOOK SIGNING

Steve and his female have returned from their vacation in Paris (thank God), so now they can get back to paying FULL ATTENTION to me! Naturally, they had to pay for leaving me alone with my pet sitter, so I was forced to do a certain amount of collateral damage around the homestead. I'll have the full damage report in a couple days.

Meanwhile, on Saturday November 15th, from 1-5 PM, Steve will be signing copies of The World Is Your Litter Box at Barnes & Noble in Palmdale, CA. If you live in the area, please drop by and say hi. Barnes & Noble is located in The Marketplace at 39228 10th Street West in Palmdale. For more information, please call 661-272-9958.

PARIS VACATION FOR STEVE & HIS FEMALE

Incroyable! On Wednesday, Steve and his female are leaving all their cares (and me) behind and going to Paris for a week’s vacation. A week in one of the most beautiful cities in the world … the sights, the ambience, the street life, the wine, the food, the Parisian chats.

Now, if I were a more magnanimous creature (in other words, not a cat), I would be happy for them. But while Steve and his female are enjoying themselves in the city of l’amour, I’ll be HOME ALONE with no one to care for me but my pet sitter. Boo-hoo-hoo, you say? Well imagine being left on YOUR OWN for eight full days and nights. Sure, I’ll be napping most of that time, but that’s not the point! With my humans gone, I won’t be able to get EXACTLY what I want EXACTLY when I want it! And, needless to say, I won’t be blogging or doing any other writing for a week, being that my typist, Steve, will be in dispose.

But, being the bigger cat, I’m putting my own selfish concerns aside to wish Steve and his female bon voyage… but don’t think there won’t be a VERY HIGH DEGREE of collateral kitty damage around the household to teach them a lesson for leaving me alone while they gallivant around Paree. Mon Dieu!

VOTE!

Well, the big day is about to arrive. After months and months and months of name calling, mudslinging, proselytizing and good old-fashioned B.S., Election Day is finally upon us. I don’t know about your humans, but Steve and his female have become fanatically obsessive about politics to the point where I’m afraid their heads are going to explode. Thank God it’s just about over.

All kidding aside though, this is a VERY important election for humans, cats, and all other living things, Planet Earth included… so if your human has not already voted, tell them to get up off their lazy you-know-what and get down to their polling place. Too much is at stake for any human to sit on the sidelines this time around.

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME - SOUND IDEA OR CONFUSING NONSENSE?

In their ever-amazing infinite wisdom, humans have developed something called daylight savings time, which involves setting the clocks ahead one hour in the spring and setting them back one hour in the fall. Why? Who the heck knows? To me, it just seems like one more thing humans have come up with to confound themselves and make their lives more complicated. And of course, there are always those ninnies who forget to turn their clocks back (or forward) and end up early (or late) for work or whatever.

But Quasi, you ask, how does this daylight savings thing affect us cats? Well, as you know, all felines have internal kitty alarm clocks, but our clocks are not really sophisticated enough to be turned back and forward on a moment’s notice. We require a period of adjustment, and during that period of adjustment, our humans MUST PAY for their folly. For example, let’s say you wake your human at 7:00 each morning. When clocks are turned back one hour, as they will be on Sunday, 7:00 AM becomes 6:00 AM… so, until your kitty clock resets, your human will be awakened at 6:00 AM, or, what used to be 7:00 AM. I know, confusing, huh? Oh, well.

At any rate, make sure your human sets all their clocks back before they go to bed on Saturday, or when they wake up on Sunday. Hey, one positive thing (for you, anyway) is that you’ll get your breakfast an hour earlier!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

For your reading pleasure and enjoyment during these most scary times, here is the “Halloween” excerpt from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)” chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box…

Halloween: A holiday fraught with both fun and danger. Halloween is a time when little humans, and some big ones, dress up in strange costumes, some of which are pretty scary. Usually, the little ones will go out trick-or-treating (whatever that is) and come home with bags full of teeth-rotting candy. This will provide you with a fine new source of diversion as you investigate the bag and remove anything that looks interesting... or edible. Another fun thing about Halloween is the pumpkins, which are carved up by humans to have scary or comical faces. When I was a kitten, I quite enjoyed climbing inside pumpkins for a look-see. However, with my massive expanse, I can no longer do so (oh the curse of aging). Also, if you are a black cat, this holiday’s for you. For some reason, many humans consider it bad luck if a black cat walks in front of them. So, if you are of the ebony persuasion, you can have extra fun by bedeviling those who are blatantly superstitious.

Now, on the danger side, there are a couple things to watch out for. First of all, there's the scariness aspect. Halloween is a time when humans like to frighten each other by making scary sounds, watching scary movies, and wearing horrifying things such as George W. Bush masks. To a cat, needless to say, some of these things are hair-raising to the nth degree. Therefore, it’s often best to find a good place to hide and stay out of your human's way until their sanity returns. Also, if you are an outdoor cat, STAY INSIDE AFTER DARK. At night, dozens of humans are out on the street, trick-or-treating and acting especially goofy. Some teenage male humans see Halloween as a time to pull off pranks such as toilet papering their girlfriends’ homes, which is actually quite delightful. However, some of their antics are much more dangerous and sinister. As with the Fourth of July, there are some heartless, misguided humans who will torment cats for their own amusement. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

NOTE #1: Investigate bags of trick-or-treat candy all you want. But DON’T EAT TOO MUCH! In large quantities, candy will cause tooth decay and make you sick, possibly necessitating a trip to the vet (talk about scary).

NOTE #2: Some humans put candles inside their pumpkins and light them. If you are a kitten, or small enough to investigate the inside of a pumpkin, make sure the candle is out before you go in. Even though flickering flames are attractive and interesting, they will burn you if you get too close. Ouch!

Here's wishing you a fun (and safe) Halloween!

"PHOTOS OF CAT READERS" PAGE ON THE WORLD IS YOUR LITTER BOX WEBSITE IS LIVE!

The “Photos of Cat Readers” page on the official The World Is Your Litter Box website is now live! Check it out at http://www.theworldisyourlitterbox.com/.

We've received some truly wonderful photos already and would love to include your fabulous feline in this one-of-a-kind rogue’s gallery. To participate, simply take a photo of your cat (or cats) posed with their copy of The World Is Your Litter Box and email it to quasi@theworldisyourlitterbox.com. We encourage creativity, but please don’t do anything that might harm (or embarrass) your kitty purely for the sake of art. Be sure and tell us the names of any and all cats in the photo and the city where you live. Also, please say something to the effect that its okay to use your photo on our website... hey, we can't afford any lawsuits here!

If you bought The World Is Your Litter Box, or if you intend to (hint hint), this is your chance to immortalize your beloved kitty in cyberspace and show the world how well-read and erudite they truly are.

THE TROUBLED ECONOMY

For the last few weeks, Steve and his female have spent an inordinate amount of time talking about the economy and how horrible everything is. They’ve also been watching a lot of financial news on TV, where most of the commentators look like their heads are going to explode at any minute. I keep hearing words like “Wall Street,” “Dow Jones,” “stocks,” “bailout” and “depression.” It all sounds pretty dire… almost as frightening as a trip to the vet.

Now I don’t pretend to understand any of this economic mumbo-jumbo, and truth be told, I don’t think too many humans do either. Quite frankly, it just sounds like something else humans have screwed up in their quest to acquire more of those filthy green papers.

But how does this affect us cats, you ask, and what can I do to help?

Well, the first thing is… don’t panic. Even though your human may be gulping calmative pharmaceuticals like candy, you should remain cool and calm regardless of the situation. In these turbulent economic times, your human will be looking to you for comfort and tranquility, so unless they try to save money by skimping on your food or some other human tomfoolery like that, you might want to cut them some slack for the duration. In other words, put some of the kitty antics on hold for awhile and be extra nice to them. And even more important, especially with Christmas season approaching, don’t let them deny you your copy of The World Is Your Litter Box, which is priced at the ridiculously low, recession-friendly, economy-collapsing price of $9.95. Hey, so what if humans are eating their shoes… I need to sell some books here!

Lastly, don’t forget… as FDR said during the Great Depression, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself… and maybe large, mean dogs.” (I added that last part myself.)

THE SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BOOK SIGNING TOUR CONTINUES

This Saturday, October 11th, from 12:00 to 3:00 PM, Steve (my human and co-author) will be signing copies of The World Is Your Litter Box at Barnes & Noble in Huntington Beach, CA. If you live in the Southern California area and have some free time on Saturday, drop by and say hello! As usual, Shill, my robotic book-signing kitty, will be standing in for me so I can stay home and create mayhem. Barnes & Noble is located in the Bella Terra Mall, 7881 Edinger Avenue, Huntington Beach, CA. For more information, call 714-897-8781, or visit the official The World Is Your Litter Box website.

And don’t forget… if you live elsewhere and can’t make it to one of Steve’s book signings, you can order an autographed bookplate for your copy of The World Is Your Litter Box. These handsome bookplates are FREE and we’ll even pay the postage! Just tell us how you want the bookplate made out (you can include your kitties if you like) and your snail-mail address. To request a bookplate, contact quasi@theworldisyourlitterbox.com.

Your Friend,
Quasi

OUCHIE!

Late last week, one of my neighbor kitty friends, Bo Diddley (named after the late, great rock ‘n roller), went to a specialty vet for something called a colonoscopy. Apparently, some of his litter box deposits were not quite up to par, if you know what I mean.

Now, from what I understand (I checked it out on Web MD.com), a colonoscopy involves shoving a little camera up the ol’ wazoo for a look-see. Of course, before they do that, they have to clean you out with enemas, which sounds VERY unpleasant. In other words, Bo Diddley (or B.D. as we cats in the neighborhood call him) was subjected to two days of kitty Abu Ghraib-type treatment at the hands of a few “bad apple” veterinarians.

Well, the good news is, they didn’t find anything seriously wrong with B.D. The bad news (for B.D.’s humans) is that it cost them hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of green papers with pictures of former federal employees, and B.D. shunned them for ONE COMPLETE DAY for putting him through such an onerous ordeal.

The only thing I can say to B.D. is I’m glad it was you and not me!

SMOKEY'S NOT-SO-EXCELLENT ADVENTURE

Here’s a story about a lost kitty that could have gone horribly wrong, but instead... well, read on...

Around three weeks ago, one of my kitty pals named Smokey (shown in the photo above) went missing from his home. Smokey, who lives in Burbank with his human, Ellen, and Ellen’s daughter, Maxie, sometimes stays with us when Ellen and Maxie go out of town. He’s an excellent cat, and when we’re together, we regularly take kitty mayhem to levels seldom reached in the annals of kittydom.

Anyway, late one afternoon, Smokey went over the backyard fence and must have gotten confused or something, because he couldn’t find his way home. Ellen and Maxie were frantic, and despite an intensive search for Smokey over the next few days, he failed to appear. Steve and his female went over and walked the neighborhood looking for Smokey, but no luck. Ellen put up “missing cat” flyers, but the weeks passed with no sign of Smokey. Needless to say, we were all devastated. Anyone who has ever lost a kitty knows exactly what I mean.

Well, just when everyone was starting to accept the reality that Smokey might be gone for good, Ellen got a phone call from a neighbor lady a block away, who had seen one of the flyers and recognized Smokey as a kitty who had been hanging around the area. Ellen went over and sure enough, there was Smokey, a bit thinner, but otherwise, none the worse for wear.

So this story has a happy ending. Smokey is back home safe and sound and even more loving than ever (nothing like a few weeks in survival mode to make you appreciate your humans!). We’re all extremely touched by this little miracle and overjoyed to have him back.

THE SUN STILL RISES FOR HEMINGWAY'S CATS

As you may or may not know, Ernest Hemingway (a fellow author) was a MAJOR cat lover. In 1935, when he was living and writing in a Spanish colonial house on an island in Key West, Florida, he was given a six-toed cat named Snowball. Ultimately, his island residence became the Ernest Hemingway Home & Museum, and all of Snowball’s descendants have been allowed to roam free on the property ever since.

Around five years ago, some spoilsports at the U.S. Department of Agriculture tried to have the cats removed, saying that the museum lacked a property animal exhibition license and couldn’t qualify for one because the cats were not enclosed. Well, to make a long story short (notice how I slipped that literary reference in there), the museum finally reached an agreement with the government… and all of Snowball’s descendants, most of whom also have six toes, will be allowed to stay and roam the grounds to their kitty hearts’ delight.

I’m quite sure Ernest Hemingway and Snowball are smiling down from the Rainbow Bridge right now!

THE WORLD IS YOUR LITTER BOX - BOOK SIGNING & BOOKPLATES

From 1:00 to 5:00 PM on Saturday, September 27th, Steve will be signing copies of The World Is Your Litter Box at Barnes & Noble in Long Beach, California. As usual, Shill, our robotic book signing kitty, will be standing in for me so I don't have to disrupt my weekend napping schedule. If you live in the Southern California area and have some free time on Saturday, drop by and say hello! Barnes & Noble is located in the Marina Pacific Mall, 6326 Pacific Coast Highway, in Long Beach; 562-431-2253.

If you live elsewhere and bought The World Is Your Litter Box, you can get a free bookplate, signed by Steve and stamped by me. Just let us know how you want the bookplate made out and where to send it (a snail mail address, please). Email your request to quasi@theworldisyourlitterbox.com. If you buy a copy of Litter Box for a friend, we’ll be happy to autograph a bookplate for them as well!

Your Friend,
Quasi
http://www.theworldisyourlitterbox.com/

THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD!

Here’s a family that is not only unfazed by the ongoing mortgage crisis, they’ve actually benefited from it!

In the upscale Tuscany Hills neighborhood in the foothills of Lake Elsinore, California, a family of bobcats moved has into an empty luxury house that was foreclosed on and made themselves right at home. The family, which consists of at least two adults and three bobcat kittens, appears to be enjoying their new digs… there’s even a koi pond in the backyard for tasty snacks. Yum! And best of all, the neighbors don’t seem to mind the new tenants, so the bobcats are safe from overzealous, gun-totin’ humans that might have other ideas.

Animal experts predict the bobcats will move on when the kittens are big enough to travel, but right now, the family has no immediate plans to leave... and, hey, can you blame them? Talk about pouncing on a good deal!

I wonder if they’ve figured out how to call Domino’s yet?

GOODBYE PIXIE

Along with Steve and his female, I want to send my deepest condolences to Daisy the Curly Cat and her family… on Sunday, Daisy’s sister Pixie went to the Rainbow Bridge. It’s always so sad when a beloved kitty leaves us, but I hope Daisy and her family will take comfort in knowing that they’ll see Pixie again someday.

I know from reading Daisy’s blog that Pixie loved bananas (that’s her in the photo)… so in honor of Pixie, I’m going to eat ONE ENTIRE BANANA, even if it takes me all day!

Nap in Peace, Pixie.

Love,
Quasi, Steve and Judy (Steve’s Female)

HURRICANE IKE

Our thoughts and prayers are with everyone (cat, human and otherwise) who suffered the fury of the winds and devastating flood waters of Hurricane Ike. We hope you and your loved ones came through okay, and if not, we hope things get back to normal for you as quickly as possible.

This has been said before, but it bears repeating: In disaster situations like Hurricane Ike, animal rescue groups do wonderful work in saving and helping our four-legged friends. I know money is pretty tight these days, but if you have a little extra, you might want to make a donation to the rescue group of your choice. A list of excellent animal rights and rescue organizations may be found on the "Links" page of The World Is Your Litter Box website.

Sincerely,

Quasi, Steve and Judy (Steve's Female)

BOOK BANNING - SCARIER THAN A TRIP TO THE VET

As you may or may not know, Sarah Palin, while serving as the mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, asked the local librarian how she could go about banning books that contained what some voters considered to be inappropriate language. The librarian, Mary Ellen Baker, was understandably aghast, and reports generated at the time indicate that Palin threatened to fire Baker for failing to provide full support to the mayor.

Now let me say this…as a cat, I can’t vote, but I find even the SUGGESTION of book banning to be VERY disturbing. Suppose you went to your local library to check out The World Is Your Litter Box and found that some misguided dog lover in a position of authority had caused it to be banned. Regardless of your political affiliation or who you intend to vote for on November 4th, you’ve got to admit that the possibility of having a would-be book banner a heartbeat away from the presidency is more than a little scary.

I would also like to remind Ms. Palin and all other potential book banners that freedom of speech is expressly protected in the First Amendment, which is part of the Bill of Rights in the United States Constitution.

But, hey… I’m just a cat. What do I know?

MOVE OVER, FLORENCE NIGHTENGALE!

Last Monday, Steve’s female had very minor outpatient surgery, but the way things are going around our household these days, you’d think she had a heart transplant or something. Steve is waiting on the female hand and foot and fawning over her like a mother hen. And, of course, the female is sucking it up like Cleopatra.

Now, let me just say that yes, Steve is being a very good husband, and yes, the female does require some extra care at the moment. However, all this hoop-de-doo is highly problematic in that it takes attention away from MOI! Hey, over the last few days, I’ve had MINIMAL CUDDLING, almost NO TUMMY RUBS, and a couple times, I’ve actually had to wait an extra ten minutes for my food! Some hypersensitive humans might think I’m coming off like a snotty, spoiled brat, but you cats know what I’m talking about.

To combat this situation and get things back on track, I’ve actually been giving the female a little extra attention myself. But Quasi, you ask, isn’t this just fanning the flames and making matters worse? No, fellow cat, for you see… the sooner the female gets better, the sooner things will get back to the way they should be, and I will, once again, get all the attention I so richly and rightfully deserve!

HURRICANE GUSTAV

Our deepest thoughts and prayers are with all living creatures (humans, cats and otherwise) who were in the path of Hurricane Gustav. We hope you all came through okay, and that your homes were not too severely damaged.

Your Friends,
Quasi, Steve & Judy (Steve’s Female)