A Sad/Happy Story

I know things have been a bit quiet lately around the ‘ole The World Is Your Litter Box blog, but we’ve had some developments around the homestead that have kept my kitty brain awhirl in a couple different directions… both sad and happy.

Let’s get the sad part out of the way first. A short while back, Steve’s mom went to the Rainbow Bridge for humans. She was quite elderly and in the end, went quickly and peacefully, so there’s that to be thankful for. Still, Steve and his female were pretty grief stricken, so me and my housemates (Piglet and Bo Diddley) worked very hard and used an overabundance of kitty cuteness to help them get through what was a very rough period. They still miss Steve’s mom very much, and probably always will, but now that some time has gone by, they’re feeling a bit better about things. Life goes on.

Now for the happy part. As those of you who’ve read The World Is STILL Your Litter Box know, I was singularly and personally responsible for turning Steve’s mom into an unabashed cat lover. It wasn’t easy at first because before Steve’s mom made a visit to our home a few years back, she wasn’t particularly fond of cats. She didn’t hate cats as some misguided humans do, but she wasn’t well acquainted with the wonders of kittydom, so she was kind of ambivalent about us. Well, during her visit, I had plenty of time to work my kitty magic on her and change all that, and by the time she left to go home, she was well on her way to being a full-blown cat nut!

Shortly thereafter, Steve’s mom got a cat of her own… a beautiful little tortie that she named Emily (that’s her in the photo above). Living with Emily made Steve’s mom realize how truly unique and wonderful we felines truly are, and she very quickly progressed to A-1 cat nut status (that’s when a human comes to the realization that their kitty is the greatest and most important thing on Earth, to be doted on and adored to the exclusion of pretty much everything else). Well, of course, when Steve’s mom went to the human Rainbow Bridge, there was no question that Steve and his female would adopt Emily, and that’s exactly what happened.

For the first few days, as is normally the case when a cat goes to a new home, Emily was very disoriented and frightened. Steve put her in a separate room until she could become acclimated to her new surroundings. In a surprisingly short amount of time, Emily relaxed and made herself comfortable, and as only a female kitty can do, she let us hapless males know, in no uncertain terms, that SHE is now the boss! Actually, it wasn’t very hard to do because we’re all VERY smitten with her (especially Piglet, who tries to steal kisses, only to be rebuffed like an unwanted suitor. He keeps trying though, the little Lothario!).

So what began as a sad event has turned into pure joy around our house. Emily has settled into her new fur-ever home very nicely and has become one of the gang. A true happy ending! Still, I have to keep an eye on her at all times. Like I said in The World Is Your Litter Box… females can be tricky. You never quite know what they’re up to.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Yes, once again it’s Thanksgiving… that wonderful time of year when we stop and give thanks for all the wonderful things we have. Oh, heck, who am I kidding? Sure, even in these difficult economic times, most of us have a lot to be thankful for, but right now, the big thing for humans is getting together with loved ones and slamming as much food as possible into their gaping maws.

Here’s a little Thanksgiving missive from a cat’s perspective… from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger) chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box…

Thanksgiving: A good holiday for cats, even if it’s not so good for turkeys. At Thanksgiving, human families get together to gorge themselves and good feeling is in the air (as are an abundance of good cooking smells!) In most households with male and female humans, the male usually spends the day watching football on TV while the female toils in the kitchen preparing Thanksgiving dinner. In addition to providing engrossing tension and lively, entertaining arguments, this situation will afford you a good lap to sleep in, unless your male human becomes over-exuberant and spills beer on you, and plenty of interesting activity in the kitchen. Once the table is set, you might want to jump up there and make sure all the silverware, plates, and glasses are properly arranged. And when dinner is finally served, be sure to go from person to person looking as cute (and hungry) as possible. There is nothing better than Thanksgiving turkey. Yum! Then, when dinner is over and everyone is sated beyond the point of decency, including you, you can go into the bedroom and have a nice snooze on everyone’s coats, just like on New Years Eve and other holidays during cold seasons. Yes, there is much to be thankful for.

Along with Steve and Judy (my humans), I want to wish everyone - cat, human and otherwise - a very safe and happy Thanksgiving!

The New & Improved "Litter Box" On-Line Shop Is Here!

Just in time for spring, The World Is Your Litter Box On-Line Shop has been completely revamped with new products and new designs for the discerning cat lover. Yes, we’ve got it all… from “Litter Box” t-shirts, coffee mugs, refrigerator magnets and key chains to “Give Us Noms” pet food bowls, “Laughed My Tail Off” boy briefs for women, and “The World IS My Litter Box” iPhone cases. We’ve even got unique products for infant and toddler cat lovers, including a “Litter Box” bib for messy eaters. It’s a veritable plethora of cat-related goodies for all ages!

But wait… there’s more! Profits from the sales of all items in the Litter Box On-Line Shop will be donated to the World Society for the Protection of Animals (WSPA), an organization doing wonderful things for animals worldwide, including the thousands of pets left homeless by the earthquake and tsunami in Japan. You can visit the WSPA website at www.wspa-usa.org.

So why not treat yourself to a future collector’s item from our on-line shop and help the WSPA while you’re at it? And don’t forget… these distinctive products make great gifts for cat-loving moms – and Mother’s Day is only a couple weeks away.

Click here to access The World Is Your Litter Box On-Line Shop.

Happy Easter!

It's Easter once again... time for Easter baskets, Easter bonnets, Easter parades, Easter egg hunts, and of course, the Easter Bunny. And like every year, many humans pause to wonder, "Who's cuter? Cats or the Easter Bunny?"

Well, clearly the answer is cats. We have to be cute 365 days a year, whereas the Easter Bunny only has to be cute on one. Plus, cats have to rely on their own wits to be cute, while the Easter Bunny can "buy" his allure with Easter holiday-related goodies like chocolate and colored eggs. Hrrrummpph! Yes, the Easter Bunny poses a significant challenge to kitty cuteness, but not to worry, fellow felines... your friend Quasi has come up with some bold and innovative ways to meet this cuteness assault head on. So, for your edification, here's the "Easter" section from the "Holiday Fun (& Danger)" chapter in The World Is Your Litter Box...

Easter: A nice holiday, but one in which our kitty cuteness is subject to competition and severely put to the test. For many, Easter is synonymous with that most adorable of holiday characters – the Easter Bunny   Some adult humans buy real bunnies for the little ones and tell them it=s THE Easter Bunny, and little humans, with their gullible under-developed minds, believe them. Now, if there’s anything that comes to close to rivaling a cat for cuteness, it’s a bunny. Like us, they have soft fur and cute little noses, which they tend to wiggle in an irresistibly-charming manner (damn them!). And, what’s worse, this Easter Bunny character tries to buy the affection of little humans by bringing them candy and colored eggs. UNFAIR!  UNFAIR!  How can we cats compete with that?

Well, you could simply get tough and run the “Easter Bunny” off like so much riff-raff. However, doing so will NOT endear you to your human. No, the best thing is to meet the enemy head on and fight THEIR cuteness with YOUR cuteness. One on one. Mano a Mano.

But how, you ask?  Well, first of all, remember that you are much smarter than the average bunny. After all, how many of THEM know the distance from Earth to the nearest Quasar?  Very few, I can assure you. Hey, they don’t even know how to purr. Furthermore, because of your stellar personality and superior intellect (and because of the “How to Look Cute” chapter in this book), you have a full arsenal of cuteness ammunition at your disposal. Believe me, you have much more going for you than some Johnny-Come-Lately Easter Bunny. So be resourceful and don’t be intimidated. Trot out your most time-tested antics and attention-getting strategies. Use every word or sound in your vocabulary. Perform feats of astounding acrobatic prowess (let’s see an Easter Bunny run up a screen door). Sing cheezy Las Vegas-type ballads like Wayne Newton. Pout like an anorexic overpaid fashion model. Do whatever you have to do to send the “Easter Bunny” packing with his tail, cute as it may be, between his legs. And most importantly, remember that cuteness is only skin deep.

Happy Easter, everyone!

Shedding Season Is Here!

Ahhh… spring is in the air. The weather is warming up, the days are getting longer, baseball is back, baby animals are being born… and IT’S SHEDDING SEASON! Yes, for us cats, it’s time to blow off our winter coats and shake off the doldrums of winter.

Shedding has some very pleasant benefits, not the least of which is the joy of getting cat hair all over everything in your home and getting extra-long spa treatment-type brushings from your human. Unfortunately, because we cats have a prediction for cleaning ourselves several times a day, a lot of loose fur ends up in our throats and tummies and becomes – yes, that’s right – hairballs. And as we all know, hairball time is kack-up time. So, as a public service to all my fellow felines, here’s a list of 20 good places to throw up, excerpted from The World Is Your Litter Box…. 

1.         In your human's shoes (preferably Louboutins or Guccis).

2          On the keyboard of your human's computer

3.         On the remote control for the TV.

4.         On a comb or a hairbrush.

5.         On the couch.

6.         On a priceless Oriental rug.

7.         On your human's iPod.

8.         Over a floor heater (preferably when it's on).

9.         In the toaster

10.       On an open waffle iron.

11.       On the hated vacuum cleaner (while it's standing idle, of course).

12.       On your human's copy of the Magna Carta.

13.       On the bed (or better yet, under the covers).

14.       On one or both of the pillows.

15.       On a pile of clean, neatly-folded clothes (my personal favorite!).

16.       On the food buffet table during a party.

17.       On your human's phone (preferably in the little impossible-to-clean mouthpiece holes).

18.       On the kitchen floor (from the top of the refrigerator... talk about a Jackson Pollock art  happening!).

19.       On your human's rare copy of Elvis Presley's "Good Rockin' Tonight" on Sun Records.

20.       In your food bowl (if you don't like the food and want it replaced... works every time).

The REAL Reason for My Humans' Trip to NYC

Steve and his female (my humans) are going to New York City for a few days to visit friends and just generally goof around in the Big Apple. But the REAL reason for their trip, so they’ve assured me, is to meet Matilda, the famous Algonquin Hotel kitty (shown above), and enlist her help in promoting my books (those would be The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box in case you’d forgotten!).

The Algonquin Hotel, which is famous for its writer’s round table of the 1920s, has had a house kitty since the 1930s, with Matilda being the latest. Naturally, Matilda has become a big celebrity in New York, so it will be quite exciting to make her acquaintance, even if it is only through Steve and his female.

Of course, with Steve and the female gone, me and my housemates, Bo Diddley and Piglet, will be left at home alone – well, not actually alone… we’ll be cared for by our wonderful pet sitter.  But still, as always when the humans go away, they will pay dearly for their transgression in the form of household damage. I just might cut them a little slack, though, if they bring me back a pawtographed photo of Matilda.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Well, it’s that time of year again when a young cat’s fancy turns to love, although yours truly is a hunk-a-hunk-a burnin’ love 365 days a year. Still, there’s nothing like having a special day dedicated to amour for everyone to enjoy and remember how important love truly is. I hope everyone has someone special to share it with.

For your loving (and laughing) pleasure, here’s the “Valentine’s Day” excerpt from the “Holiday Fun & Danger” chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box…

Valentine’s Day: A good holiday for cats. Love is in the air and typically, male humans give female humans gifts such as candy and flowers. This means you will have wrapping paper and ribbons to play with and flowers to sniff (and eat). If your human gets a box of candy and leaves the top off, you can have the sumptuous pleasure of licking and sampling each individual piece. Because humans tend to get all mushy and gooey on Valentine’s day, you can usually expect to receive a little extra lovin’ yourself, and maybe even a present. Steve and his female are such shameless cat lovers that they always buys me a Valentine present, usually a cat toy, catnip, or the most expensive kind of kitty food. Ain’t love grand!

NOTE: In some instances on Valentine’s Day, your human may pay more attention to another human than you. This is UNACCEPTABLE HUMAN BEHAVIOR and cannot be tolerated. If your human is being amorous with another human and ignoring you, jump between (or on) them and meow loudly to express your displeasure. Then, turn your back, stick your rear end in their faces and march off in a huff. Make them understand that Valentine’s Day or not, you are numero uno and will not be ignored.

Along with Steve and his female, and Bo Diddley and Piglet (my kitty housemates) I want to wish you and yours a most happy Valentine’s Day!

Wave of the Future

Over the holiday season, a very interesting phenomenon occurred in the publishing and bookselling industry, which, as an author cat, I follow very closely. Barnes & Noble reported that for the first time ever, the sales of ebooks surpassed the sales of hard copy books on its online bookstore. Barnes & Noble also indicated that customers downloaded around one million books on Christmas day alone, and both Barnes and Noble and Amazon are reporting mega sales of their respective e-readers, the Nook and the Kindle.

What this means to yours truly is that anyone in the world, wherever they may be, can go online, download The World Is STILL Your Litter Box, and be reading it in a matter of minutes. Talk about wave of the future! Unfortunately, my first book, The World Is Your Litter Box, is not yet available as an ebook… but you can help. Simply click on the Amazon link for the book, go to “Tell the Publisher,” and click on “I’d like to read this book on Kindle.” On the Barnes & Noble link for the book, click on “Tell the publisher you want this in Nookbook format.” If enough cats and cat lovers do this, maybe both of my books will soon be available as ebooks and my plan for kitty world domination will enter the digital age! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

A quick note: The Barnes & Noble link for the paperback version of The World Is STILL Your Litter Box says that the book is not available for the Nook. This is NOT TRUE, and the error is being corrected. You can order The World Is STILL Your Litter Box for the Nook here.

And while I’m shamelessly plugging my books for the first time in 2011, let me humbly remind you that if you have a book store gift certificate left over from the holidays… well, I think you get the picture!

Happy New Year!

As we head into the second decade of the new Millennium, I want to extend my best kitty wishes for a happy, healthy and prosperous new year. I know 2010 was pretty difficult for many humans (and their cats), so hopefully, 2011 will be a lot better. I also want to thank everyone who bought and read my two books, and I especially want to thank those of you who let us know how much they’ve enjoyed them. We really appreciate it!

And now, to start 2011 off with a few yuks, here’s the “New Years Eve” section of the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)” chapter from The World Is Your Litter Box…

New Years Eve: For some reason, many humans like to begin the new year by celebrating wildly, drinking to excess, and throwing up (and they call us animals!). At midnight, these well-oiled pagans yell “HAPPY NEW YEAR,” hug and kiss other humans they normally hate, then sing “Old Lang Syne” and get all blubbery. This is a holiday that does not hold a lot of promise for cats. Most likely your house will be filled with loud, obnoxious strangers and you will have to seek refuge in one of your favorite hiding places. However, there are a couple benefits. First of all, when humans have parties, their guests often leave their coats on the bed in a darkened bedroom. This provides you with an excellent opportunity to sleep on different clothing (and to leave cat hair all over it and teach the intruders a lesson for disturbing YOUR peace and quiet).

The best part of New Years Eve, however, is when all the revelers finally go home. In most cases, your human will be too tired (or too wasted) to clean up the mess. When they finally noodle out, the remaining food and debris is YOURS FOR THE TAKING. Because your human will probably sleep soundly for hours, you can eat as much as you want and play among the ruins to your heart’s content. Sex and drugs and rock ‘n roll!

NOTE #1: If you come across a bottle with a small amount of liquid still inside... go ahead and taste it, but DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK. One New Years Eve, I knocked over and drank about a third of a bottle of beer and, oooooh wheeee, it really twisted my head around. I must admit, fellow celebrant, that I got a little goofy my own self. Ultimately, I ended up falling asleep and missing most of the fun. So be careful what you drink. And before you “party hearty, appoint a designated kitty.

NOTE #2: Because humans tend to become a little wobbly when they drink, be sure to stay out of their way to avoid being stepped on, or crushed if they pass out and tip over. Also, for you outdoor cats, stay away from the street where reckless and sometimes drunk drivers abound.

HAPPY NEW YEAR ONE AND ALL from Steve and his female (my humans), Piglet & Bo Diddley (my housemates), and most of all, from yours truly.

Holiday Greetings!!!

As the yuletide season reaches its crescendo and 2010 draws to a close, I would like to extend best my wishes for a wonderful and peaceful Christmas holiday, and for a healthy and happy new year. It’s been a wild and wacky year, but aren’t they all?

And, for your holiday reading pleasure – and some good laughs – here’s the “Christmas” section of the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)” chapter from The World Is Your Litter Box…

Christmas: The mother of all holidays... a time for joy, goodwill, and complete madness. This is a holiday that is nothing but fun for cats. The Christmas lights. The presents. The tree. The tinsel. The ornaments. The egg nog. Deck the halls indeed!

Although many stores start selling Christmas stuff in July, or so it seems, most humans start their serious Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving (although, for extra thrills and chills, some masochistic humans wait until December 24th). This means the Christmas season lasts around one month – one full month of crowded malls and post offices, angry drivers duking it out over parking spaces, mind-deadening Christmas music, maxed-out credit cards, and endless unrealistic TV commercials showing rich people buying each other plasma TVs and other expensive presents that normal mortals can’t afford. Why do humans put themselves through it? I don’t know.

But forget them. What about us cats, you say? Just what’s so special about Christmas from the feline perspective?

Well, fellow reveler, let’s start with that most traditional of holiday traditions, the Christmas tree. A week or two before Christmas, most humans bring in a fir or pine-type tree from outside and decorate it with lights, tinsel, candy canes and ORNAMENTS. These colorful shiny balls may possibly be the best thing about Christmas – the way they dangle and glisten so invitingly, just begging to be batted at. Who can resist? Not me, that’s for sure. Or you either. And why should we? After all, if our humans were truly worried about damage to their ornaments, they wouldn’t hang them in such a tempting location. So don’t be bashful, fellow sultan of swat. Whack at those ornaments until your heart’s content. And hey, if you happen to knock a few (or several) off the tree, don’t sweat it. It’s Christmas!

Then there’s the yuletide thrill of climbing the Christmas tree. However, a word of caution here. A few years back, I shinnied up my tree all the way to the top. Just as I was getting ready to do my impersonation of the Star of Bethlehem, my massive kitty girth upset the fundamental balance of gravity and the tree topped over with a resounding, tinkling crash (those ornaments DO break if they hit the ground hard enough). Naturally, Steve was pretty chagrined... although, deep down, I think he thought it was pretty funny.

It’s also great to sleep under the Christmas tree. You can even pretend you are a present if you like. And there is nothing like a refreshing drink of cool, pine-scented Christmas tree water to really get you in the holiday spirit.

Another great thing about Christmas is the presents, or, should I say, the ribbon and wrapping on the presents. The amazing thing is, fellow cat, that after all the painstaking planning, the stupefying shopping and the manual dexterity-challenging wrapping of gifts, the actual present-opening ritual is over in a matter of minutes, leaving an orgy of detritus for you to play in. Oh the joy of taking a flying leap at a mountain of crumpled-up wrapping paper, the glee of scattering colorful ribbons and bows around the living room, the unparalleled pleasure of climbing into new, unexplored empty boxes, the ego-flattering self indulgence of posing for photographs amid the rubble. And because your human won’t want you to feel left out of all the gift-giving – and receiving – they will probably buy something nice for you. In my house, it’s usually just a trifle like catnip or a cat toy, but hey, it’s the thought that counts, right? Besides, on top of all the other previously-mentioned delights of Christmas, an extra present is merely icing on the cake.
And of course, when the merriment finally comes to an end and your human is cleaning up the wreckage, there is nothing better than a contented-cat snooze in front of a roaring yuletide fire.

NOTE #1: Many children-humans break or become disinterested in their Christmas presents within minutes of receiving them, thus leaving them for you to play with and break further, if you so desire. Also, be sure to investigate the presents given and received by adult humans. Most likely, you will find some nice new clothing to curl up and sleep on.

NOTE #2: Sparkly and inviting as it may seem, DO NOT EAT TINSEL.

NOTE #3: Some humans will become very angry when you knock ornaments and other objects off the Christmas tree. Many will even create an ornament timber line, that is, they will only hang ornaments in positions above your reach. DON’T LET THIS STOP YOU FROM HAVING YOUR GOD-GIVEN RIGHT TO BAT AT CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS. If ornaments are placed beyond your reach, climb up the tree and rock it back and forth like a bear at Yellowstone National Park. This will surely cause a few things to fall, or at least tumble to a place where you can get at them.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

10 Good Reasons to Buy My Books on Line and Avoid the Mall (For Men Only)

Hey human males, if you’re like Steve (my human), I’m guessing that you would rather have hydrofluoric acid splashed in your face than to have to go to a shopping mall even under the best of circumstances. And with Christmas Day fast approaching, well, let’s just say it’s not going to be pretty. From here on out guys, a trip to the mall is almost guaranteed to darken your holiday mood and make you think evil thoughts about your fellow humans.

But wait! There’s a way to avoid all this angst-fueled mayhem and ‘ole Quaz is going to tell you how. If you have a cat lover on your holiday gift list (and who doesn’t?), I’m quite certain that they would rather have copies of my books (The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box) than just about anything else on earth. And because the books are readily available on Amazon.com, you can avoid the mall altogether! Think of it! In fact, here are ten good reasons why you should order my books on-line rather than go to the mall looking for other presents for cat lovers (that won’t be nearly as cool anyway)…

1. You can order my books from the comfort of your own home.
2. You won’t get into a fistfight with another driver for the one remaining space in the mall parking structure.
3. You won’t have to hear stupor-inducing Christmas music.
4. You won’t get jostled by irritating hoards of other half-mad shoppers.
5. You won’t have to hear babies’ cries spiking above the white noise din of the mall.
6. You won’t have to eat ulcer-ific “food” in the food court.
7. You won’t have to wait for your wife or girlfriend while she “just stops by a shoe department for a quick look,” but ends up trying on 739 pairs of shoes.
8. You won’t have to deal with semi-literate temporary holiday workers who have absolutely no idea what they actually sell in the store.
9. You won’t have to plod aimlessly through the mall searching for the “perfect” gift, which probably doesn’t exist anyway.
10. You can order my books, then lapse into a state of bliss knowing that this holiday season, the mall will not steal your soul.

So save yourselves, brothers… order my books from Amazon and avoid the whole shebang. In fact, just thinking about going to a shopping mall makes me glad that I’m a cat (hey, going to the vet is bad enough!).

Happy Thanksgiving!

Yes, once again it’s Thanksgiving week… that wonderful time of year when we all stop and give thanks for all the wonderful blessings we have. Yes, even in these difficult economic times, most of us have much to be thankful for. But still, let’s not forget those who don’t have as much as we do and hope that their lives improve for the better. And let’s also remember those who have given so much over the years so that we can continue to have the lifestyle we so enjoy today.

Now right about here, you’re probably thinking, “Hey, Quasi, those are very nice Thanksgiving sentiments and all that, but what does Thanksgiving hold in store for us cats?” Well, for your edification and enjoyment, here’s the Thanksgiving section from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)” chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box…

Thanksgiving: A good holiday for cats, even if it’s not so good for turkeys. At Thanksgiving, human families get together to gorge themselves and good feeling is in the air (as are an abundance of good cooking smells!) In most households with male and female humans, the male usually spends the day watching football on TV while the female toils in the kitchen preparing Thanksgiving dinner. In addition to providing engrossing tension and lively, entertaining arguments, this situation will afford you a good lap to sleep in, unless your male human becomes over-exuberant and spills beer on you, and plenty of interesting activity in the kitchen. Once the table is set, you might want to jump up there and make sure all the silverware, plates, and glasses are properly arranged. And when dinner is finally served, be sure to go from person to person looking as cute (and hungry) as possible. There is nothing better than Thanksgiving turkey. Yum! Then, when dinner is over and everyone is sated beyond the point of decency, including you, you can go into the bedroom and have a nice snooze on everyone’s coats, just like on New Years Eve and other holidays during cold seasons. Yes, there is much to be thankful for.

Along with Steve and Judy (my humans), and Bo Diddley and Piglet (my kitty compadres), I want to wish everyone - cat, human and otherwise - a very safe and happy Thanksgiving!

A Holiday Gift Idea for Cat Lovers (Guess What it Might Be!)

Another year is winding down and that means that the holiday season is almost upon us (Gulp!). You know what this means… over one full month of crowded shopping malls and post offices, mind-deadening Christmas music, maxed-out credit cards, and endless, unrealistic TV commercials showing rich people buying each other ridiculously- expensive presents that normal mortals can’t afford.

Well, this year, ‘ole Quaz is going to make things a lot easier for you. If you’re reading this, I’m assuming that you’re either a cat or a cat lover, and what could be a finer gift for cat lovers than copies of my books, The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box. Now here’s the best part… you can order these books from Amazon.com and avoid the mall completely! Think of it… no crowds, no hassles, no Johnny Mathis Christmas songs. Amazon will even do the gift wrapping for you, and if you order both books together, you can save a few bucks on shipping. Voila!

So this year, get the cat (or cat lover) on your holiday gift list what they REALLY want – The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box – and make it easy on yourself. Why mess around when the answer to the question, “What should I get for all the cat people in my life?” is just a few easy clicks away. And I guarantee you this… these books will bring laughter and enjoyment to anyone who shares their home with a cat and fully understands what wonderful little creatures we cats truly are.

Hey, I managed to get through this entire blog post without saying that my books are the PURR-fect gift for cat lovers!

OMG! I Have a Cat Crush on Taylor Swift!

The other day, I was just waking up from one of my 20 daily naps when I heard a sweet, yet familiar voice wafting in from the next room. Like a powerful and alluring Siren, the voice called out to me and beckoned me to come closer, which (being a nosy, curious cat) I did. I saw Steve’s female sitting at her computer, and when I jumped up on the desk for a better look, it all became crystal clear. Oh, yes. Steve’s female was on iTunes downloading songs from an album by – that’s right, you guessed it – my ultimate mancat crush of all time… Taylor Swift.

Apparently, Taylor Swift has a new album called “Speak Now,” and there it was, with an irresistible photo of Taylor Swift herself, right on the female’s computer screen. Oh, Taylor (may I call you Taylor?), please come over and rub my tummy… I promise I won’t grab and claw your arm (well… maybe I will). Perhaps we could even have a romantic, candlelight dinner of Kitty Stew together, and then I could curl up in your lap for a cozy catnap. OMG, have I gone crazy? Have I lost my little kitty mind?

I first saw Taylor Swift when she hosted Saturday Night Live about a year ago, and ever since them, I’ve had a BIG CAT CRUSH on her. Now I know this is just a crazy fantasy and that nothing will ever come of it, but I find myself dreaming of her gentle touch as she pets my head, kisses my nose and cuddles me. It makes me purr just thinking about it! I wonder if Taylor Swift is a cat person? And, dare I even think it… I wonder if she’s read The World Is Your Litter Box or The World Is STILL Your Litter Box?

Oh well, like I said, probably nothing will ever come of my kitty crush. I’m sure there are millions of other mancats who feel the same way I do (curse them!). But hey Taylor… if you ever come to Burbank, there’s a great big furry white tummy waiting for you to rub!

Our 1st Annual Halloween Cats Photo Contest!

To celebrate Halloween (very possibly the most fun holiday of all!), we’re running our 1st Annual Halloween Cats Photo Contest. Woo-hoo! To enter and have a chance to win some fantastic prizes, all you have to do is take a Halloween-related photo of your kitty (or kitties) and email it to quasi@theworldisyourlitterbox.com. You can dress your kitty up in a costume, or simply take a photo of them next to a pumpkin or some other Halloweenie-type thing. Be creative, but don’t harm or embarrass your kitty for the sake of the photo! Be sure to include your name, the name of the cat in the photo, and a “snail mail” address. What could be easier?

The contest will have one grand prize winner and second, third and fourth place winners, to be determined by Team Quasi (that would be me, Steve and Steve’s female). We’ll be looking for cleverness and originality, but above all, cuteness. The grand prize winner will receive signed copies of my books, The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box. The second, third and fourth place winners will receive fabulous items from the newly-opened The World Is Your Litter Box On-Line Shop. All photos will be posted in the “Halloween Cats” photo album on The World Is Your Litter Box Facebook page.

The contest will close at midnight (PDT) on Friday, October 29th, and the winners will be announced on Sunday the 31st… yes, that’s right… Halloween! So, good luck everyone. We can’t wait to see your photos!

Grand Opening! The World Is Your Litter Box On-Line Shop

Attention Quasi-Mart shoppers! The official The World Is Your Litter Box On-Line Shop is now open with a stunning array of ultra-fab goodies for cat lovers. Yes, we’ve got it all… shirts, hats, baby clothing, mugs, magnets, buttons, bumper stickers… even a “Quasi” thong for the ladies. All these fine products have Quasi and Litter Box-related designs that you won’t find anywhere else. Shop early and avoid the lines (okay, there aren’t any lines, but shop early anyway… believe me, once you see these one-of-a-kind items you won’t want to live one more minute without them!). And, needless to say, any one of these products would make an excellent gift for the cat lover in your life.

You’re probably wondering why a reclusive author such as me would want to open an on-line retail outlet. Well, there are several reasons. First of all – and I’m being blatantly honest here – these products help call attention to my books (The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box in case you’d forgotten). Secondly, believe it or not, we’ve received a lot of requests from cat lovers for this kind of stuff. Thirdly, if we sell enough of this swag, we can make a few bucks – again being completely honest here! And lastly, this gives me an opportunity to come up with clever and catchy product descriptions… in fact, all the product info under “From the Designer” was written by yours truly.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the shop and visit often. We’ll be adding new products from time to time, and many of these items will be given away as prizes in upcoming contests on our The World Is Your Litter Box Facebook page (we welcome you to become a “fan”). And one last great thing about the shop… we never close!

Two Cat Books You Should Check Out (Besides Mine!)

I thought I’d give everyone a break from plugging my own books (The World Is Your Litter Box & The World Is STILL Your Litter Box… sorry, I couldn’t resist!) and let you know about two other cat books that we really like.

The first is Buckley’s Story, written by Ingrid King, who also writes the excellent blog, The Conscious Cat. Buckley’s Story is about Ingrid’s adoption of Buckley, a beautiful tortoise shell kitty who, sadly, developed heart disease and ultimately made her way to the Rainbow Bridge. The book focuses on Ingrid’s caring for Buckley through her illness and the special bond they developed, and although it’s kind of sad in places, it really is a celebration of the timeless connection between humans and kitties. Here’s the Amazon link for Buckley’s Story, which I highly recommend.

And then there’s the brand new book from my personal friend Sparkle the Designer Cat entitled Dear Sparkle: Cat-to-Cat Advice from the World’s Foremost Feline Columnist. In this her second book, Sparkle answers questions from inquiring kitties and provides sage advice for resolving all manners of kitty conundrums. And if that’s not enough, there’s even a mention of yours truly in the introduction. Here’s the Amazon link for Dear Sparkle… very funny and very informative!

Yes, fellow cats, you’ll certainly want to add these wonderful books to your library, along with The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box, of course (hey, what can I tell you… I’m a hopeless hype machine!).

Reviews of The World Is STILL Your Litter Box

We’re starting to get some very nice reviews of The World Is STILL Your Litter Box from highly intelligent and erudite reviewers who clearly recognize fine literature when they see it. For example, in the Tampa Bay Tribune, Kristen Levine of Fetching Communications writes, “There are plenty of laughs in these pages, and loads of cattitude.” Sandy Amazeen on Monsters & Critics says, “Animal lovers are sure to laugh aloud at Quasi’s bright antics while recognizing aspects of their own feline companions.” On the Conscious Cat blog, Ingrid King, the author of Buckley’s Story, calls The World Is STILL Your Litter Box “a thoroughly delightful book for all cat lovers.” Sandy Robins, the Cat Fancy columnist, says “If you enjoyed Quasi’s first foray into the literary litter box, he has a lot more to say in the sequel.” And in the Burbank Leader (my hometown newspaper), Lyda Truick writes, “Quasi fills many chapters with anecdotal tactics for being the best cat possible.”

Yes, it’s truly wonderful to bask in praise from the literary world, but like all spoiled, insecure artists, I want MORE MORE MORE! If you would like to share your thoughts about The World Is Your Litter Box and/or The World Is STILL Your Litter Box (and stroke my fragile ego), send them to quasi@theworldisyourlitterbox.com. We’ll post your comments on the “Reviews” page of the Litter Box website for all the world to see. And if you’re feeling really ambitious, you can write a review of either or both books on Amazon (and seriously, we need all the reviews we can get!). To write a review, simply go Amazon and access the pages for the books. Click on “Customer Reviews,” which you’ll find under the title, then click on “Create Your Own Review.” Your thoughts and opinions are very important to us… especially if they’re complimentary and nice!

To read all the reviews of The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box, go to the “Reviews” page of the Litter Box website.

Summer Reading & Safety Tips for Cats

With the “dog” days of summer fast approaching, you’re probably looking for a couple good books to read while you’re lounging by the pool or tanning up on the beach like the kitty in the photo. Might I humbly suggest The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box? They’re light and funny so they won’t depress you like all those books about the horrible state of the world, they’re chic and ultra-hip so you can impress your friends with your excellent taste in literature, and they’re very lightweight so you won’t strain yourself carrying them to your favorite reading spot. What could be better?

And while I’m at it, here are a few summer safety tips for my kitty compadres. First, be sure to use PLENTY of sun block if you plan on lounging about (or napping) in the out-of-doors… you don’t want those deadly gamma rays to singe your fur or burn your tender skin. Be sure to drink plenty of fluids so you stay hydrated… in fact, why not ask your human to add some refreshing ice cubes to your drinking water? DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT mess around with dogs that are lying in the sun… the heat makes them extra grouchy and just because they look wasted with their tongues lolling out doesn’t mean they won’t get up and chase you. And lastly, if you go for a refreshing dip in the pool and engage in some entertaining underwater hijinx, don’t forget to come up for air.

Enjoy the rest of the summer!

eBook Versions of The World Is STILL Your Litter Box

The World Is STILL Your Litter Box, the ultra-hilarious sequel to The World Is Your Litter Box, is now available as an eBook in a variety of formats for all types of devices and computers. Just think… you can read my new book wherever you might be – on the subway, in an airplane, at your place of work instead of actually doing your job – the possibilities are infinite! And you can download the book and begin reading it in seconds… talk about instant gratification!

For your shopping and downloading convenience, here are four handy links:

• For the Amazon Kindle edition, click here.
• For the Sony eReader edition, click here.
• For the Barnes & Noble Nook edition, click here.
• For the iUniverse edition, click here.

The Nook edition may also be used to read The World Is STILL Your Litter Box on an iPad, iPhone, Blackberry, PC or Mac. The iUniverse edition may be read on a PC, Mac, iPad, iPhone or Blackberry.

Unfortunately, my first book, The World Is Your Litter Box, is not yet available as an eBook… hopefully, it will be in the not-too-distant future. Meanwhile, you’ll just have to read it the old-fashioned way. In other words, you’ll have to physically hold the book and turn the pages by hand. Some of you may not be familiar with this primitive means of reading, but once you get the hang of it, it’s really not so bad.