The World Is STILL Your Litter Box

Lately, several erudite kitty (and human) readers of The World Is Your Litter Box, my ultra-hilarious how-to manual for cats, have asked me about the status of the follow-up, The World Is STILL Your Litter Box… so, as a means providing an update (and take advantage of yet another opportunity to shamelessly promote my writing career), let me first tell you that barring any last-minute complications, The World Is STILL Your Litter Box will be out in the spring of 2010. We don’t have a firm release date yet, but when we do, I’ll be sure to let you know.

Meanwhile, here is a partial list of chapters from the new book that are finished so far…

• How to Tell If Your Human Is a True Cat Nut
• What to Do If Your Human Puts You On a Diet
• Breezy Excuses for Unacceptable Kitty Behavior
• Cat Sounds and What They Mean
• Fun Things to Do When You’re Buzzed On Catnip
• How to Live with Multiple Cats and Alpha Males
• Good Fighting (and Survival) Techniques
• How to Baby-sit Guest Kittens
• Why Cats Are Smarter Than Humans

Let me also apologize for being somewhat missing in action on the web lately, but as you can imagine, writing a book is very hard, time-consuming work… especially for a cat with a multitude of household responsibilities and a need to sleep 20 hours a day. But rest assured that Steve and I are working very diligently to complete The World Is STILL Your Litter Box, and when you finally read it, I think you’ll agree that it will have been worth the wait (if I don’t say so myself!).

WHY CAN'T HUMANS BE MORE LIKE CATS? (CIVILITY LESSON #2)

Just when I thought humans couldn’t be any ruder and nastier to one another, yet another incident occurred that made me wonder why humans can’t be more like cats. On the MTV Music Video Awards program a few days ago, Kanye West interrupted an acceptance speech by Taylor Swift, grabbed the microphone from Swift’s hand, and proceeded to tell the whole world that Beyonce was more deserving of the award. (To Beyonce’s credit, she graciously ceded some of her time on the program so Swift could complete her acceptance speech.)

Have humans (other than Beyonce) gone completely mad? Has it become fashionable for humans to yell and scream and interrupt one another? I know that hosts on talk radio and cable TV do it, but does that mean that all humans have to act like louts and oafs to make their point?

Here’s what I think humans should do to become more kind and courteous… in other words, to become more like cats. First, all humans should give at least one other human a kiss (which is the equivalent of our licking). Then, all humans should give another human at lease one delicious treat. And finally, all humans should take a nice long nap so they wake up refreshed, and hopefully, in a better mood. Hey, it works for us cats.

WHY CAN'T HUMANS BE MORE LIKE CATS? (CIVILITY LESSON #1)

From my usual spot on the back of the couch, behind Steve and his female, I watched President Obama’s speech on health care reform, and quite frankly, I was stunned by the behavior of certain human members of Congress. Throughout the speech, I heard cat calls (and I don’t mean meows), and I saw several humans texting or Twittering while the President was speaking. Tres rude! One white male congressman even shouted out, “You lie.” Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the President of the United States the leader of the free world and deserving of a certain amount of respect, even if you disagree with him?

Now what occurred to me while watching the speech, among other things, is… why can’t humans be more like cats? Let me give you an example. When I disagree with one of my fellow felines, I merely hiss at them and… well yes, sometimes a whap or two on the head are also required to drive my point home. But I don’t call other cats liars or Nazis or Commies or whatever. Even with enemy cats, I try to show a reasonable degree of courtesy and respect. After all, what are we? Animals?

Now I’m not suggesting that humans hiss at each other or whap each other on the head, but a little civility would be nice. All this screeching and name calling is getting humans nowhere, and for the rest of us, it’s mighty unpleasant. Disagree if you must, humans, but please try and keep the level of discourse out of the gutter. And it would also be nice if you could disagree more quietly. Hey, some of us are trying to nap.