WHY CAN'T HUMANS BE MORE LIKE CATS? (CIVILITY LESSON #1)

From my usual spot on the back of the couch, behind Steve and his female, I watched President Obama’s speech on health care reform, and quite frankly, I was stunned by the behavior of certain human members of Congress. Throughout the speech, I heard cat calls (and I don’t mean meows), and I saw several humans texting or Twittering while the President was speaking. Tres rude! One white male congressman even shouted out, “You lie.” Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the President of the United States the leader of the free world and deserving of a certain amount of respect, even if you disagree with him?

Now what occurred to me while watching the speech, among other things, is… why can’t humans be more like cats? Let me give you an example. When I disagree with one of my fellow felines, I merely hiss at them and… well yes, sometimes a whap or two on the head are also required to drive my point home. But I don’t call other cats liars or Nazis or Commies or whatever. Even with enemy cats, I try to show a reasonable degree of courtesy and respect. After all, what are we? Animals?

Now I’m not suggesting that humans hiss at each other or whap each other on the head, but a little civility would be nice. All this screeching and name calling is getting humans nowhere, and for the rest of us, it’s mighty unpleasant. Disagree if you must, humans, but please try and keep the level of discourse out of the gutter. And it would also be nice if you could disagree more quietly. Hey, some of us are trying to nap.

THE ECONOMIC STIMULUS PACKAGE - WHAT'S IN IT FOR CATS?

The multi-billion dollar stimulus package, intended to help resurrect the economy that was basically screwed up by short-sighted (and greedy) humans, was signed into law by President Obama on Tuesday.

Now this is all fine and good, but what I really want to know is… how will the stimulus package be of benefit to us cats? Needless to say, I don’t have time to paw through the thousand-plus pages of details, so I thought I’d pose a few question to my kitty friends in the blogosphere, who may have some answers.

Will the stimulus package…

• Put more (and tastier) cat food in our bowls?
• Provide us with better health care coverage for trips to the hated vet?
• Help our humans find jobs so we can take extra long naps while they’re at work?
• Put more money in our humans’ pockets so they can spend it on us?
• Improve our schools so children can learn more about cats?
• Help American workers build better and safer cat toys?
• Help decrease global warming and increase global purring?
• Help reduce our dependence on foreign catnip?

If anyone has the answers to some or all of these questions, please let me know. Meanwhile, let’s hope the stimulus package proves helpful to cats, humans, and all other living things.

INAUGURATION OF PRESIDENT OBAMA

Along with Steve and his female, and just about everyone else on Planet Earth, I just can’t WAIT for Barack Obama’s inauguration. Also, and no offense to you conservative cats out there, it will be great to see George W. Bush in the rearview mirror, although, I think there are actually quite a number of conservatives who would agree with THAT statement! In fact, to honor Mr. Obama’s effort to reach across the aisle to members of the opposing party, I’m going to reach across the driveway and extend a paw of friendship to all the dogs in the neighborhood (well… not really).

Anyway, Tuesday will be a VERY exciting and historic day, and we intend to watch it all from the comfort of our living room… I already have my reserved seat on the back of the couch behind Steve and the female. And aside from the fact that Mr. Obama wants to get a dog for his children instead of a cat, we think he will be a great president and wish him all the very best!

A DOG IN THE WHITE HOUSE? HOW ABOUT A CAT?

Like most Americans, Steve and his female are very excited about Barack Obama being our next president. As a good tax-paying kitty (well, not really), I too am looking forward to the Obama presidency. Except for one thing…

It seems that at some point during the campaign, Obama promised his daughters that they could get a dog if he won the election and they moved into the White House. Now that’s all fine and good, and dogs do make good pets, but I DEMAND that cats get equal time! Sure, a kitty might claw up the furniture in the oval office, mangle important documents on the president’s desk, get cat hair on the clothing of important world leaders, or walk across the console in the communications room and inadvertently sever diplomatic relations with France, Great Britain and Chad… but hey, these are minor things that certainly should not disqualify one of our feline brethren from becoming a pet for the Obama girls.

So, Mr. President-Elect, even though you’ve got your hands full with the economy and what-not, how about taking a few moments out to consider the possibility of a cat in the White House. As a good American, I would even be happy to donate a copy of The World Is Your Litter Box so the presidential kitty would know exactly what to do to make their life (and yours) even more pleasant and enjoyable!

OBAMA, McCAIN, OR... (QUASI'S STRAW POLL #1)

As a public service, your politically-minded kitty friend Quasi has decided to run a series of straw polls between now and the fall election. Yes, fellow cats, since the Founding Fathers failed to give us cats the right to vote, here is your chance to weigh in on the candidates. All you have to do is post a response (with comments if you like), and our nerdy team of statistical experts will compile and list the results. Kitties in other countries may also express their opinions… after all, it’s a global community, right? And lastly, to make things a little more interesting, I’ve added a few additional candidates who may or may not run.

The candidates are:

• Barack Obama
• John McCain
• Hello Kitty
• Elizabeth II, Queen of England
• A-Rod
• Mick Jagger
• Brangelina
• No One

Disclaimer: This poll is entirely unscientific and unsanctioned by cats or humans in any official capacity or position of authority. It is, however, sanctioned by me!