THE NEW "FIRST DOG"

Here’s something you’ve never seen on my blog before… yes, that’s right, a post about a DOG! No, I haven’t lost my kitty mind or become soft on doggie-ism. However, in the spirit of bipartisanship, I want to send a big meow out to the Obamas’ new puppy, which Sasha and Malia named Bo.

As you may already know, Bo is a Portuguese water dog, which means that his breed is trained to jump into the water and retrieve things… something a cat would NEVER do, obviously. Originally, President Obama intended to get a rescue dog, but the girls wanted a Portuguese water dog and pups of this breed are rarely available as rescues. So, the Obamas accepted Bo as a gift from Senator Ted Kennedy and will, instead, make a generous donation to the District of Columbia Humane Society.

Now, since Bo is just a puppy, and since all dogs tend to be rubes regardless of their stature, I’d like to offer him some tips from the feline perspective…

• Don’t bite the president
• Don’t lift a leg on the corner of the desk in the Oval Office
• Don’t get doggie hair on important diplomats
• Don’t eat Sasha and Malia’s homework
• Don’t beg at state dinners
• Don’t growl at Secret Service dudes
• Don’t track mud in from the Rose Garden
• And for God’s sake, DON’T hump the legs of female world leaders

That being said, Bo, I wish you a long and happy life as “first dog.” And the next time I’m in Washington, to show you what a good sport I really am, I’ll let you chase me under the bed in the Lincoln bedroom.

HOW CATS CAN HELP RESOLVE AMERICA'S ECONOMIC PROBLEMS

As a good American kitty, I would like to propose a solution to all of America’s economic problems, and I call on all cats to help me. And don’t worry, mon fellow chats… you won’t have to go to work or give up any precious nap time. The concept is so simple, I can’t believe some other cat (or government genius) didn’t think of it before! My idea….

NATIONAL PURR DAY
On a given date and time (to be determined), every American human will sit in their favorite chair and hold a kitty on their lap. For humans who don’t have cats (poor devils), one cat will be issued to each person for this event. Then, upon a signal from President Obama, (perhaps the popping open of a can of cat food on national TV), all the cats will begin purring simultaneously. This will create a soothing, rumbling nationwide vibration, which will make everyone feel happy and serene. But Quasi, you ask, how will this solve our economic ills? Well, it won’t, really, but like FDR said, we have nothing to fear but fear itself, and if everyone just calms down a bit, things can only get better, right? That’s me in the photo, doing my part with Steve.

And, hey, all you kitties… even if National Purr Day never becomes a reality, feel free to jump up in your human’s lap and purr whenever you want. After all, as all cat people know, things can never be THAT bad when you’ve got a purring kitty on your lap.

INAGURATION OF PRESIDENT OBAMA - PART 2

CONGRATULATIONS PRESIDENT OBAMA

Your Inaugural Address was stirring, especially your call for all of us to contribute. As a cat, I would like to offer my services in ridding the White House of any pesky rodents that might be hanging around.

Seriously, though, we wish you all the best in facing the enormous challenges that lie before you, and before all of us as Americans. Speaking on behalf of Steve, the female and (of course) myself, I'm glad you're our new president!

Your Friend,

Quasi