MOVE OVER, FLORENCE NIGHTENGALE!

Last Monday, Steve’s female had very minor outpatient surgery, but the way things are going around our household these days, you’d think she had a heart transplant or something. Steve is waiting on the female hand and foot and fawning over her like a mother hen. And, of course, the female is sucking it up like Cleopatra.

Now, let me just say that yes, Steve is being a very good husband, and yes, the female does require some extra care at the moment. However, all this hoop-de-doo is highly problematic in that it takes attention away from MOI! Hey, over the last few days, I’ve had MINIMAL CUDDLING, almost NO TUMMY RUBS, and a couple times, I’ve actually had to wait an extra ten minutes for my food! Some hypersensitive humans might think I’m coming off like a snotty, spoiled brat, but you cats know what I’m talking about.

To combat this situation and get things back on track, I’ve actually been giving the female a little extra attention myself. But Quasi, you ask, isn’t this just fanning the flames and making matters worse? No, fellow cat, for you see… the sooner the female gets better, the sooner things will get back to the way they should be, and I will, once again, get all the attention I so richly and rightfully deserve!