HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

For your reading pleasure and enjoyment during these most scary times, here is the “Halloween” excerpt from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)” chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box…

Halloween: A holiday fraught with both fun and danger. Halloween is a time when little humans, and some big ones, dress up in strange costumes, some of which are pretty scary. Usually, the little ones will go out trick-or-treating (whatever that is) and come home with bags full of teeth-rotting candy. This will provide you with a fine new source of diversion as you investigate the bag and remove anything that looks interesting... or edible. Another fun thing about Halloween is the pumpkins, which are carved up by humans to have scary or comical faces. When I was a kitten, I quite enjoyed climbing inside pumpkins for a look-see. However, with my massive expanse, I can no longer do so (oh the curse of aging). Also, if you are a black cat, this holiday’s for you. For some reason, many humans consider it bad luck if a black cat walks in front of them. So, if you are of the ebony persuasion, you can have extra fun by bedeviling those who are blatantly superstitious.

Now, on the danger side, there are a couple things to watch out for. First of all, there's the scariness aspect. Halloween is a time when humans like to frighten each other by making scary sounds, watching scary movies, and wearing horrifying things such as George W. Bush masks. To a cat, needless to say, some of these things are hair-raising to the nth degree. Therefore, it’s often best to find a good place to hide and stay out of your human's way until their sanity returns. Also, if you are an outdoor cat, STAY INSIDE AFTER DARK. At night, dozens of humans are out on the street, trick-or-treating and acting especially goofy. Some teenage male humans see Halloween as a time to pull off pranks such as toilet papering their girlfriends’ homes, which is actually quite delightful. However, some of their antics are much more dangerous and sinister. As with the Fourth of July, there are some heartless, misguided humans who will torment cats for their own amusement. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

NOTE #1: Investigate bags of trick-or-treat candy all you want. But DON’T EAT TOO MUCH! In large quantities, candy will cause tooth decay and make you sick, possibly necessitating a trip to the vet (talk about scary).

NOTE #2: Some humans put candles inside their pumpkins and light them. If you are a kitten, or small enough to investigate the inside of a pumpkin, make sure the candle is out before you go in. Even though flickering flames are attractive and interesting, they will burn you if you get too close. Ouch!

Here's wishing you a fun (and safe) Halloween!