RETURN FROM PARIS COLLATERAL DAMAGE REPORT

As most of you who read my posts know, Steve and his female recently returned from a week’s vacation in Paris. During their absence, I remained at home and was cared for by my pet sitter. Now even though my pet sitter is very nice and does pretty much whatever I want, it was still not the same as having Steve and the female around at all times…for me, it was inconvenient, irksome and problematic. In other words, it was UNACCEPTABLE HUMAN BEHAVIOR for which they had to pay! And if that wasn’t enough, Steve even went so far as to pet a Parisian chat, as evidenced by the above photo. Zut Alors!

Here is the room-by-room collateral damage report for the week Steve and his female were having fun in Par-ee. Needless to say, I had to do most of this on the last day so my pet sitter wouldn’t clean up my handiwork:

Kitchen:

• All accessible cabinets opened and investigated


• Bag of flour opened and spread around floor


• Bag of pasta opened and spread around floor


• Roll of paper towels unraveled and shredded


• Kacked-up hairball on counter near stove


• Excessive cat hair on everythin

Living Room:

• Arm of couch mercilessly shredded


• Chew marks on leaves of all accessible plants


• Dirt from accessible plants flung onto carpet


• Favorite paper bag shredded (I was tired of it anyway)


• Kacked-up hairball on coffee table


• Excessive cat hair on everything

Bathroom:

• Roll of toilet paper shredded into microscopic-sized pieces


• Litter from litter box excavated and flung onto floor


• Hand towels pulled down into litter box


• All items on counter knocked over and/or batted around


• Kacked-up hairball in bathtub


• Excessive cat hair on everything

Bedroom:

• Ridiculous number of pillows on bed disrupted and/or pushed onto floor


• All items on female’s dressing table knocked over and/or batted around


• Sliding closet doors opened and contents thrashed (wherever possible)


• Lamps on bed stands tipped over


• Kacked-up hairball on bedspread


• Excessive cat hair on everything