THANK YOU

Heartfelt thanks to everyone who left such kind and thoughtful messages on my "A Long Lifetime of Loving Cats" post. We really appreciate it, especially Steve's female, who is John's daughter.

Sincerely,

Quasi, Steve and Judy (Steve's Female)

A LONG LIFETIME OF LOVING CATS

Steve and his female just returned from Phoenix, where they went to visit the female's father for Father's Day. The female's father, John, is 91 years old and has been a cat lover all his life. His current cat, Sandy, is 18 years old, so obviously, they the both have very good genes. John passed his love of cats on to the female, which is a very good thing, especially for me!

Unfortunately, John is starting to fade and will soon be crossing over his own Rainbow Bridge. When he does, all the cats he loved and cared for throughout his life will be there to greet him, and it will be quite a crowd. I don't know for certain, but I would venture to say that it will be a very happy time, with hugs, kisses and tummy rubs for all. I can almost hear the collective purring.

ANIMAL FLOOD VICTIMS IN NEED

Once again, Mother Nature has unleased her raging fury, this time on the Midwestern part of the United States. Numerous cities and towns have suffered irreparable damage, and some, like Cedar Rapids, Iowa, are virtually underwater.

Just as with the recent earthquake in China and the cyclone in Myanmar, and putting people aside for just a moment, thousands of animals are in dire need of assistance. Needless to say, disasters of this magnitude put a huge drain on the resources of animal rescue organizations, so if you can afford it (and I know things are tough economically these days), you might want to consider a donation to the organization of your choice. Links to several excellent animal rescue organizations may be found on the "links" page of my website.

And one last thing... if there are any humans out there who STILL think global warming is a hoax or a non-issue, please contact me immediately. I have some acreage on the moon I'd like to sell you!

RACCOON SIGHTING

Last evening, while I was gazing out the window counting the number of stars in the Milky Way, I was shaken from my reverie when a very large raccoon ran across the top of our fence. At first I thought it was an enemy cat, but no, unless enemy cats have started to wear bandit masks. I was so startled, I forgot to hiss!

Meanwhile, Steve's female, who loves animals of ALL kinds, was awestruck by seeing a woodland creature right here in our own little Burbank (actually, there are quite a few of them, including dreaded coyotes). So what does she do? She takes a handful of MY kitty crunchies and lays them across the top of the fence for the raccoon to eat, and for the next hour, all she talked about was the raccoon.... the raccoon... the raccoon!

Well, we saw no more of the raccoon, and in the morning, the crunchies were still on the top of the fence. I'll be watching for its return, though, and this time, I won't forget to hiss!

BOOK SIGNINGS

At 7:30 PM on Thursday, June 12th, on my behalf, Steve will be signing copies of The World Is Your Litter Box at Barnes & Noble in Encino, CA. And at 7:30 PM on the following Thursday, June 19th, Steve will be signing copies of the book at Flintridge Bookstore, 964 Foothill Boulevard in La Canada, CA. And yes, Shill, my robotic book-signing emissary kitty, will be standing in for me at both events!

Barnes & Noble is located in the Encino Marketplace at 16461 Ventura Boulevard, at the corner of Ventura and Hayvenhurst. Flintridge Bookstore is located at 964 Foothill Boulevard. If you live in the Los Angeles area, please try and stop by one or both events.

And don’t forget… if you live elsewhere and bought The World Is Your Litter Box, you can get a free, autographed bookplate. Just let me know how you want the bookplate made out and where to send it (a snail mail address, please). Send your request to quasi@theworldisyourlitterbox.com.

SEX AND THE CITY

Last weekend, Steve and his female saw Sex and the City, the movie based on the HBO show about four close girl friends and their adventures in New York City. I’m sure Steve would have rather seen something more manly and lowbrow, but he actually liked the movie and earned major metrosexual points with the female. Also, I’m sure he enjoyed seeing the moviegoing female humans who dressed up in little cocktail dresses to get into the spirit of the film.

Now, from what I remember about the show on HBO, these girls were always in some state of turmoil and confusion, supposedly with issues involving male humans. But I think the real problem is that none of these girls, in the movie anyway, had cats… in fact, one of them even had a DOG, horror of horrors! And as we all know, life without a cat can be barren and lonely, even in a bustling, exciting place like Manhattan.

HIGH GAS PRICES

Over the past month or so, and especially over the last couple weeks, Steve and his female have been grousing about the high cost of gas. I think gas has something to do with those loud, scary machines that humans drive, but I really don’t understand it. To be perfectly honest, the only gas I’m aware of is what comes out of that little hole under my tail from time to time.

Still, to me, the answer is actually very simple: If humans are so worried about the high cost of gas, why don’t they drive cars and trucks that don’t guzzle so much… or, better yet, figure out a more energy efficient (and cleaner) way to power their vehicles. Do we cats have to think of EVERYTHING?

PEACE DAY WISH

Sometimes, I just don’t understand humans. They can create stunning works of art, cure disease, send people into space, and come up with miraculous inventions like iPods and self-cleaning litter boxes… but they just can’t seem to stop killing each other in destructive wars that never seem to really resolve anything in the long run. Why can’t humans be more like cats? Sure we may have to do battle with an enemy cat from time to time, but hey… I even get along with most of the dogs in the neighborhood (well, some of them anyway).

On this Peace Day, my wish is that somehow, someway, humans can figure out a way to end war and coexist in harmony on Planet Earth. Maybe it will never happen, but why not at least try?

CAT WRITER'S ASSOCIATION

Steve is very excited because he was just accepted as a member of the Cat Writer’s Association (CWA), a prestigious organization for humans who write about us kitties. For a moment there, I thought about contacting CWA and busting Steve, since I am the TRUE author of The World Is Your Litter Box… but, since he did such a nice job of typing what I told him to write, I’m going to let him have his moment in the sun.

Yes, fellow cats, sometimes we have to be a bit magnanimous toward our humans, painful as that may be. But Steve better not get too cocky about this… otherwise, I’ll have to put him in his place as only a cat can!

BOOK EXPO REDUX

Steve and his female completed their weekend of hyping The World Is Your Litter Box at Book Expo America (BEA). From what I can gather, BEA was pretty crowded and intense… certainly no place for a kitty (a real one like me or a robotic one like Shill). Steve and the female came home blathering and drooling at the end of each day, but they did make some new friends and made them aware of my book.

On the international front, Steve and his female learned that the French are VERY excited about The World Is Your Litter Box. Mon dieu! Rights are currently being negotiated for release of the book in the language of l’amour, so within the next few months, Litter Box will be in the paws of chats in France, Belgium and other countries where the French language is spoken. Rights are also being negotiated for publication of the book in other languages, and it will soon be distributed in Canada and the UK… proving once again that the world truly IS your litter box!

BOOK EXPO AMERICA

This weekend, at my behest, Steve and his female will be attending Book Expo America (BEA), which is the mother of all book trade shows… book industry humans come from all around the country to attend. Too scary for cats, though. I think even Shill, my robotic book signing emissary kitty, will pass on this one.

This year, BEA is being held in Los Angeles, which is highly convenient (and cheap) for Steve and his female. They’ll be in the Sterling Publishing booth schmoozing with anyone who will listen to them and spreading the word about The World Is Your Litter Box. And here’s the best part (for moi, anyway)… being a cat author, I don’t have to do anything! While Steve and the female are spending endless hours in a packed, teeming conventional hall promoting MY book, I’ll be… that’s right, at home napping in all my favorite places.

Is it great to be a literary lion (or, at least, a literary kitty) or what?

BOOKPLATES FOR THE WORLD IS YOUR LITTER BOX

Personalized bookplates for The World Is Your Litter Box, my outlandishly funny how-to manual for cats, are now available! If you would like an autographed bookplate to place inside your copy of the book, signed by Steve and stamped by Quasi, send your request to quasi@theworldisyourlitterbox.com. Please specify who you want the bookplate made out to (you can include your cats if you like), and BE SURE to include an address where the signed bookplate can be sent.

These handsome bookplates are FREE and we’ll even pay the postage… but please, only one to a customer!

Your Friend,
Quasi

KITTY BRINGS TRAIN RIDERS BACK!

Without question, Japan is a country that truly knows the value of cats! Last week, Hello Kitty was named Japan’s tourism ambassador, and now we learn that last year, a Japanese train company appointed a tabby cat named Tama to the position of super station master at the Kishi station in Western Japan.

The Kishikawa line had been losing around $4.9 million a year as passenger numbers declined. Since Tama’s appointment, however, the number of train riders has steadily climbed back up and people are flocking to the Kishi station to see Tama and have their picture taken with her.

All of this makes perfect sense, since in Japan, cats are considered to be good luck and beneficial to business. Nice work, Tama, and may you be rewarded with all the sushi you can eat!

MEMORIAL DAY

On this Memorial Day weekend, let's all take a few moments to remember the humans who made ultimate sacrifices to protect and defend the way of life we hold so dear. I wish there were no wars, but I give wholehearted thanks the men and women who fought and died in them on our behalf.

And let's also use this opportunity to remember all the wonderful kitties who graced us with their presence and have now gone to the rainbow bridge. Thank you for the years of joy you gave us, and thank you for enriching our lives with your unconditional love.

Thank you one and all.

AMERICAN IDOL WINNER

Congratulations to David Cook for being chosen as the new American Idol. Being an old rock ‘n roller myself (mostly a roller), I’m glad to see that a rocker made it over a crooner.

I do, however, have two other comments about American Idol:

• All contestants should be asked if they love cats. If they don't, they should be harshly castigated by Simon and booted off the show immediately.


• I would STILL rather be chased around the house by the hated vacuum cleaner than have to watch one episode of American Idol. Steve agrees with me, but the female is a huge Idol fan… so, needless to say, American Idol stays on in our household.

THE NEW TOURISM AMBASSADOR IN JAPAN IS...

Last Monday, the tourism ministry in Japan announced the appointment of its new goodwill ambassador to represent the country in China and Hong Kong. Out of the approximately 127,433,494 humans in Japan, and after what I’m sure was very careful consideration, they gave the tourism ambassador position to… HELLO KITTY!

Now consider this, fellow felines… of all those millions of humans in Japan, NOT ONE was deemed capable enough to handle the intense pressure and skull-numbing demands of being a goodwill ambassador for tourism. So once again, as has happened so many times throughout the course of human history, a cat has ridden to the rescue! Sure Hello Kitty is an imaginary cat with no mouth, but she’s a cat just the same.

This proves one very simple point: When it comes to important political appointments, such as goodwill tourism ambassador, cats are far superior to humans. Even a cat that has no mouth and can’t eat sushi, poor thing!

CAT MOVIES RULE!

This past weekend, "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" took in a cool $56.6 million at the box office and blew "Iron Man" out of first place, providing once again that movies with any type of connection to cats (big or small) rule!

As you may or may not know, your friend Quasi was actually up for the part of Aslan the Lion in the first Narnia movie, but being the spoiled narcissist I am, I wanted too much money, and even Disney couldn't afford me. Actually, that's not true, but it looks SO good in print, I couldn't resist writing it!

HELP FOR CATS (AND ALL OTHER ANIMALS) IN MYANMAR

Last week, as I’m sure you know, a cyclone devastated Myanmar and left thousands (people and animals) dead, injured, and/or in dire need of assistance. In situations like this, most international rescue organizations focus on the human aspects of the suffering, but fortunately, there are other organizations devoted solely to helping animals that are facing illness, starvation and death. Needless to say, major disasters such as the Myanmar cyclone (and the earthquake in China) put a tremendous drain on the resources of animal rights and rescue organizations, so if you can, you might want to consider a donation to one or more of them.

Here are links to three organizations that are directly involved in easing the suffering of our animal friends in Myanmar:

World Society for the Protection of Animals (WSPA)

International Fund for Animal Welfare (IFAW)

Humane Society of the United States (HSUS)

KITTEN SEASON

Hey fellow cats, as you probably already know, it’s kitten season! Time for your human to go to the local shelter and adopt a lovable little bundle of fluff that will bring a lifetime a joy to your household.

Now, you’re probably thinking, Geez, Quasi, I don’t know… kittens can be rambunctious and annoying. Won’t they disturb my napping routine? Well sure, kittens CAN be a pain in the hindquarters, but hey… they provide hours of entertainment, they make perfect little acolytes and partners in crime, and if you create a little destructive mayhem yourself, you can always pin the blame on them. And you never know… one of them might grow up to be a world-famous author like me (HA-HA!).

So if you have room in your house and heart, use your kitty wiles to let your human know that you want a new little friend or two or three RIGHT NOW! With kitten season upon us, there will be multitudes of kittens in need of good and loving homes. Besides… is there ANYTHING on Earth cuter than a kitten?

MEET MY BOOK-SIGNING EMISSARY

On Saturday, on my behalf, Steve did the first book signing for The World Is Your Litter Box at Trinkets & Treasures in Studio City, California. A good time was had by all and the signing was a smashing success… 27 books were sold, which, I am told, is a lot for a book signing (unless you’re J.K. Rowling or Stephen King or some famous author like that).

I would also like to introduce you to Shill, my new book-signing emissary. Shill is a cute robotic kitty that can meow, purr, hiss, turn his head and lift his tail… and he’s not afraid to leave the house, ride in a car, or appear in front of dozens of people, all of which would be mucho scary to a real cat like me. Besides, having Shill stand in for me at book signings means I won’t have to make any changes to my napping schedule. So if Steve does a signing in your area, be sure to come by and pet Shill. Even though he’s robotic, he’s still a cat and loves attention.