How Kittens Are Made

Throughout the history of cinema, certain films have come along and made such an impact that they elevated the art form to new plateaus and pointed the motion picture industry in an entirely new direction… films such as Citizen Kane, Casablanca, Gone With the Wind, The Bicycle Thief, Star Wars, The Godfather, and anything with Jennifer Aniston to name but a few.

Now, another rubicon in the history of filmmaking has been crossed. Yes, movie aficionados, for your viewing pleasure, I have channeled Orson Welles and directed my first film, “How Kittens Are Made,” a groundbreaking two-minute slice of cinema vérité featuring my friend and protégée, Andy. Here are some of the early reactions from film buffs around the world…

• “OMG… what a mancat!”
• “Mon Dieu… le chat du amour!”
• “Made my pulse race!“
• “LOL funny!”
• “Get that cat a hooker!”

Now, a brief word of warning… “How Kittens Are Made” is a bit on the risqué side, so if you’re easily offended by humor that might be considered by some to be racy and slightly twisted, don’t watch it. However, if you think you can stand it, here’s the link…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUGQqN87LNI

Enjoy!

KITTEN SEASON 2009

Hey fellow cats, it’s kitten season once again! Time for your human to go to the local shelter or contact a pet rescue organization to adopt a lovable little bundle of fluff that will bring a lifetime a joy to your household.

Now, you’re probably thinking, 'Geez, Quasi, I don’t know… kittens can be rambunctious and annoying. Won’t they disturb my napping routine?' Well sure, kittens CAN be a pain in the hindquarters, but they provide hours of entertainment, they make perfect little acolytes and partners in crime, and if you create a little destructive mayhem yourself, you can always pin the blame on them. And you never know… one of them might grow up to be a world-famous author like me (HA-HA!).

So if you have room in your house and heart, use your kitty wiles to let your human know that you want a new little friend or two or three RIGHT NOW! With kitten season upon us, there will be multitudes of kittens in need of good and loving homes. Besides… is there ANYTHING on Earth cuter than a kitten?

NEW KITTY ON THE BLOCK!

A couple days ago, our good friend Paula (who also happens to be my literary agent extraordinaire) welcomed a new addition to her family. No, not a pesky, squalling human baby, but… a three-month-old little girl kitty! The kitten, along with her litter mates, was rescued from death row at the pound by a good Samaritan, who then adopted them out to good homes (including Paula’s), where they will lead wonderful, happy lives. Paula’s man-cat, Dave, is already showing the new kitten the ropes, and as soon as the kitty gets acclimated to her new surroundings, Paula will read her the “Advice for Kittens” chapter in The World Is Your Litter Box (yes, I couldn’t resist yet another shameless plug for my book!).

Paula is still deciding on a name for her new kitty. One of the possibilities is “Stevie,” which Steve thinks is pretty cool (obviously), but if you want to weigh in with a suggestion, I’ll make sure to pass it along. Meanwhile, please join me in welcoming Paula’s new kitty and wishing her many years of purrs, tummy rubs, and best of all, long naps in the sun.

KITTEN SEASON

Hey fellow cats, as you probably already know, it’s kitten season! Time for your human to go to the local shelter and adopt a lovable little bundle of fluff that will bring a lifetime a joy to your household.

Now, you’re probably thinking, Geez, Quasi, I don’t know… kittens can be rambunctious and annoying. Won’t they disturb my napping routine? Well sure, kittens CAN be a pain in the hindquarters, but hey… they provide hours of entertainment, they make perfect little acolytes and partners in crime, and if you create a little destructive mayhem yourself, you can always pin the blame on them. And you never know… one of them might grow up to be a world-famous author like me (HA-HA!).

So if you have room in your house and heart, use your kitty wiles to let your human know that you want a new little friend or two or three RIGHT NOW! With kitten season upon us, there will be multitudes of kittens in need of good and loving homes. Besides… is there ANYTHING on Earth cuter than a kitten?

STEVE'S FEMALE COMES HOME TODAY... THANK GOD!

Today, Steve's female will return home from visiting her family in Arizona, and not a moment too soon! Steve has gotten to the point where he doesn't know what to do with himself, and the house looks like it was trashed by a herd of rampaging kittens. And, me? Well, I think I'll go find myself a good vantage point (far away from the hated vacuum cleaner, of course) and watch Steve as he frantically tries to clean the house before his female arrives. Should be good for mucho laughs... or, at least a few Cheshire cat grins.