HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Well, fellow cat and cat lovers, 2008 has finally come to an end and a new year has begun. Out with the old and in with the new! For your pleasure and amusement, here’s the “New Years Eve” section from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)” chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box…

New Years Eve: For some reason, many humans like to begin the new year by celebrating wildly, drinking to excess, and throwing up (and they call us animals!). At midnight, these well-oiled pagans yell “HAPPY NEW YEAR,” hug and kiss other humans they normally hate, then sing “Old Lang Syne” and get all blubbery. This is a holiday that does not hold a lot of promise for cats. Most likely your house will be filled with loud, obnoxious strangers and you will have to seek refuge in one of your favorite hiding places. However, there are a couple benefits. First of all, when humans have parties, their guests often leave their coats on the bed in a darkened bedroom. This provides you with an excellent opportunity to sleep on different clothing (and to leave cat hair all over it and teach the intruders a lesson for disturbing YOUR peace and quiet). The best part of New Years Eve, however, is when all the revelers finally go home. In most cases, your human will be too tired (or too wasted) to clean up the mess. When they finally noodle out, the remaining food and debris is YOURS FOR THE TAKING. Because your human will probably sleep soundly for hours, you can eat as much as you want and play among the ruins to your heart’s content. Sex and drugs and rock ‘n roll!

NOTE #1: If you come across a bottle with a small amount of liquid still inside... go ahead and taste it, but DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK. One New Years Eve, I knocked over and drank about a third of a bottle of beer and, oooooh wheeee, it really twisted my head around. I must admit, fellow celebrant, that I got a little goofy my own self. Ultimately, I ended up falling asleep and missing most of the fun. So be careful what you drink. And before you “party hearty, appoint a designated kitty.

NOTE #2: Because humans tend to become a little wobbly when they drink, be sure to stay out of their way to avoid being stepped on, or crushed if they pass out and tip over. Also, for you outdoor cats, stay away from the street where reckless and sometimes drunk drivers abound.

Along with Steve and his female, I want to wish you and yours all the very best in 2009!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

With Christmas Day nearly upon us, here’s a little holiday entertainment for you in the form of the "Christmas" section from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)" chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box...

Christmas: The mother of all holidays... a time for joy, goodwill, and complete madness. This is a holiday that is nothing but fun for cats. The Christmas lights. The presents. The tree. The tinsel. The ornaments. The egg nog. Deck the halls indeed!

Although many stores start selling Christmas stuff in July, or so it seems, most humans start their serious Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving (although, for extra thrills and chills, some masochistic humans wait until December 24th). This means the Christmas season lasts around one month – one full month of crowded malls and post offices, angry drivers duking it out over parking spaces, mind-deadening Christmas music, maxed-out credit cards, and endless unrealistic TV commercials showing rich people buying each other plasma TVs and other expensive presents that normal mortals can’t afford. Why do humans put themselves through it? I don’t know.

But forget them. What about us cats, you say? Just what’s so special about Christmas from the feline perspective?

Well, fellow reveler, let’s start with that most traditional of holiday traditions, the Christmas tree. A week or two before Christmas, most humans bring in a fir or pine-type tree from outside and decorate it with lights, tinsel, candy canes and ORNAMENTS. These colorful shiny balls may possibly be the best thing about Christmas – the way they dangle and glisten so invitingly, just begging to be batted at. Who can resist? Not me, that’s for sure. Or you either. And why should we? After all, if our humans were truly worried about damage to their ornaments, they wouldn’t hang them in such a tempting location. So don’t be bashful, fellow sultan of swat. Whack at those ornaments until your heart’s content. And hey, if you happen to knock a few (or several) off the tree, don’t sweat it. It’s Christmas!

Then there’s the yuletide thrill of climbing the Christmas tree. However, a word of caution here. A few years back, I shinnied up my tree all the way to the top. Just as I was getting ready to do my impersonation of the Star of Bethlehem, my massive kitty girth upset the fundamental balance of gravity and the tree topped over with a resounding, tinkling crash (those ornaments DO break if they hit the floor hard enough). Naturally, Steve was pretty chagrined... although, deep down, I think he thought it was pretty funny.

It’s also great to sleep under the Christmas tree. You can even pretend you are a present if you like. And there is nothing like a refreshing drink of cool, pine-scented Christmas tree water to really get you in the holiday spirit.

Another great thing about Christmas is the presents, or, should I say, the ribbon and wrapping on the presents. The amazing thing is, fellow cat, that after all the painstaking planning, the stupefying shopping and the manual dexterity-challenging wrapping of gifts, the actual present-opening ritual is over in a matter of minutes, leaving an orgy of detritus for you to play in. Oh the joy of taking a flying leap at a mountain of crumpled-up wrapping paper, the glee of scattering colorful ribbons and bows around the living room, the unparalleled pleasure of climbing into new, unexplored empty boxes, the ego-flattering self indulgence of posing for photographs amid the rubble. And because your human won’t want you to feel left out of all the gift-giving – and receiving – they will probably buy something nice for you. In my house, its usually just a trifle like catnip or a cat toy, but hey, it’s the thought that counts, right? Besides, on top of all the other previously-mentioned delights of Christmas, an extra present is merely icing on the cake.

And of course, when the merriment finally comes to an end and your human is cleaning up the wreckage, there is nothing better than a contented-cat snooze in front of a roaring yuletide fire.

NOTE #1: Many children-humans break or become disinterested in their Christmas presents within minutes of receiving them, thus leaving them for you to play with and break further, if you so desire. Also, be sure to investigate the presents given and received by adult humans. Most likely, you will find some nice new clothing to curl up and sleep on.

NOTE #2: Sparkly and inviting as it may seem, DO NOT EAT TINSEL.

NOTE #3: Some humans will become very angry when you knock ornaments and other objects off the Christmas tree. Many will even create an ornament timber line, that is, they will only hang ornaments in positions above your reach. DON’T LET THIS STOP YOU FROM HAVING YOUR GOD-GIVEN RIGHT TO BAT AT CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS. If ornaments are placed beyond your reach, climb up the tree and rock it back and forth like a bear at Yellowstone National Park. This will surely cause a few things to fall, or at least tumble to a place where you can get at them. (For ways to combat your human's anger over broken Christmas ornaments, see chapter entitled “How to Get Away with Unacceptable Kitty Behavior.”)

Along with Steve and his female, I want to wish everyone (cat, human and otherwise) a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!

A GREAT HOLIDAY GIFT FOR CATS & CAT LOVERS

Hi fellow cats and cat lovers. ‘Tis the season to be jolly, spread some good tidings – and sell some books. Yes, that’s right… it’s time for another brazen, unabashed holiday plug for my book, The World Is Your Litter Box. Here’s a list of ten great reasons why Litter Box makes the PERFECT gift this holiday season:

• It’s the hippest, coolest cat book out this year (if I don’t say so myself!)
• It doesn’t require any complicated assembly
• It weighs only four ounces, so it’s cheap to ship
• It won’t break or fall apart on Christmas morning
• It won’t have to be returned because it doesn’t fit right
• It makes a much nicer gift than argyle socks
• It’s easy to wrap
• It’s more edible than tinsel
• It’s WAY cheaper than a plasma TV
• It’s VERY funny, and I think we can all use some good laughs right about now

So why not make it easy on yourself this year? The perfect holiday gift for cat lovers is only a bookstore away (or, if you prefer, a few clicks on Amazon.com). Ho-ho-ho!

CAT BITES SANTA!

Here’s a nice little Christmas event that didn’t go exactly as planned. During a Santa Paws photo shoot at a PetsMart store in New Jersey, a very large cat named Benny, who was sitting on Santa’s lap, became freaked out by nearby dogs (speaking in their thunderous, horrible tongue, no doubt), and BIT SANTA ON THE WRIST AND HAND!

Fortunately for everyone involved, primarily Santa and Benny, everything seems to be working out okay. Benny’s owner provided assurances that Benny has had all his vaccines and Santa said that he did not want anything to happen to Benny. However, unless Benny’s owner produces his vaccination records, Santa will have to undergo a series of rabies shots. Ouchie! Let’s hope that doesn’t have to happen.

So, fellow cat, the moral of this story is that if your human takes you to have your photo taken with Santa, biting or scratching ‘ole St. Nick is probably not the best way to show him that you’ve been a good little girl or boy. And Benny, I probably wouldn’t count on Santa coming through with that new mechanized litter box you want for Christmas this year.

A DOG IN THE WHITE HOUSE? HOW ABOUT A CAT?

Like most Americans, Steve and his female are very excited about Barack Obama being our next president. As a good tax-paying kitty (well, not really), I too am looking forward to the Obama presidency. Except for one thing…

It seems that at some point during the campaign, Obama promised his daughters that they could get a dog if he won the election and they moved into the White House. Now that’s all fine and good, and dogs do make good pets, but I DEMAND that cats get equal time! Sure, a kitty might claw up the furniture in the oval office, mangle important documents on the president’s desk, get cat hair on the clothing of important world leaders, or walk across the console in the communications room and inadvertently sever diplomatic relations with France, Great Britain and Chad… but hey, these are minor things that certainly should not disqualify one of our feline brethren from becoming a pet for the Obama girls.

So, Mr. President-Elect, even though you’ve got your hands full with the economy and what-not, how about taking a few moments out to consider the possibility of a cat in the White House. As a good American, I would even be happy to donate a copy of The World Is Your Litter Box so the presidential kitty would know exactly what to do to make their life (and yours) even more pleasant and enjoyable!

THE WORLD IS YOUR LITTER BOX - BOOK SIGNING

This Friday, from 6:00 to 9:00 PM, Steve will be signing copies of The World Is Your Litter Box at the Toluca Lake Christmas open house in - yes, that's right - Toluca Lake, California. Steve will be in front of A Tamara Dahill Salon at 10216 Riverside Drive. If you live in the area, please drop by and say hello... and maybe even buy a signed copy of Litter Box as a holiday gift for the cat lover in your life!

The Toluca Lake Christmas open house is an annual tradition where Riverside Drive is blocked off and all the merchants stay open late and give out treats like cookies and glasses of wine. Zillions of people come out and stroll around and sing Christmas carols, and of course, Santa makes an appearance for the kids. For a cat like me, it would be way scary, but for humans, its a lot of fun. Ho-Ho-Ho indeed!

THANKSGIVING & BLACK FRIDAY REDUX

Right about now, if you’re a human, you’re probably thinking, “Oh, God, I hate going back to work after the holiday” (If you’re a cat, today is pretty much like any other day). The Thanksgiving gorge-a-thon and Black Friday shopping tumult of 2008 are now history. Next stop… Christmas. Gulp!

As I’m sure you know, Black Friday was marred by complete human madness that included the death of a Wal-Mart employee who was trampled by frenzied shoppers, and a shootout at a Toys-R-Us in California that left a couple shoppers dead. This proves, once again, that cats are WAY SMARTER than people. A cat would NEVER go shopping on Black Friday, much less participate in gunplay or a rampage where other humans are trampled to death (although, in all honesty, I must say that if we cats had opposable thumbs, we probably WOULD exchange gunfire from time to time).

At any rate, please tell your human to be cool and stay frosty this holiday season. There’s plenty of time to shop, and there’s no need to trample or shoot anyone to get to that copy of The World Is Your Litter Box you’re planning to buy as a holiday gift for the cat lover in your life. Yes I know, another cheap plug for my book, but we’ve got to get in those holiday promos while we can… and at least we’re not subjecting you to nauseating Johnny Mathis Christmas music!

Black Friday

Well, fellow cat, today is Black Friday… the official start of the Christmas shopping madness. This is the day humans everywhere rush to shopping malls to take advantage of incredible bargains and spend money they don’t have on items they don’t really need. And the reason today is called “Black Friday” is that many stores open ridiculously early (when it’s still dark... hence the name) and humans line up hours earlier to take advantage of “Doorbuster” sales. Just thinking about all this makes me shake and shiver and want to hide under the bed until the return of sanity.

Now, having said all that, I would like you to remind your human that in the midst of their shopping frenzy, they should NOT forget about my book, The World Is Your Litter Box. Yes, what would Black Friday be without a crass, shameless plug from ‘ole Quaz! The World Is Your Litter Box is the perfect holiday gift for cat lovers (and for you)… and, at the recession-friendly price of just $9.95, it’s a perfect stocking stuffer.

So happy Black Friday everyone! Let the holidays begin!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Yes, once again it’s Thanksgiving… that wonderful time of year when we stop and give thanks for all the wonderful things we have. Oh, heck, who am I kidding? Sure, even in these difficult economic times, most of us have a lot to be thankful for, but right now, the big thing for humans is getting together with loved ones and slamming as much food as possible into their gaping maws.

Here’s a little Thanksgiving missive from a cat’s perspective… from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger) chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box…

Thanksgiving: A good holiday for cats, even if it’s not so good for turkeys. At Thanksgiving, human families get together to gorge themselves and good feeling is in the air (as are an abundance of good cooking smells!) In most households with male and female humans, the male usually spends the day watching football on TV while the female toils in the kitchen preparing Thanksgiving dinner. In addition to providing engrossing tension and lively, entertaining arguments, this situation will afford you a good lap to sleep in, unless your male human becomes over-exuberant and spills beer on you, and plenty of interesting activity in the kitchen. Once the table is set, you might want to jump up there and make sure all the silverware, plates, and glasses are properly arranged. And when dinner is finally served, be sure to go from person to person looking as cute (and hungry) as possible. There is nothing better than Thanksgiving turkey. Yum! Then, when dinner is over and everyone is sated beyond the point of decency, including you, you can go into the bedroom and have a nice snooze on everyone’s coats, just like on New Years Eve and other holidays during cold seasons. Yes, there is much to be thankful for.

Along with Steve and Judy (my humans), I want to wish everyone - cat, human and otherwise - a very safe and happy Thanksgiving!

THE WORLD IS YOUR LITTER BOX - THE LATEST NEWS

This weekend, Steve will wind up his Southern California book tour for The World Is Your Litter Box with signing events at Barnes & Noble in Palmdale from 1-5 PM on Saturday (11/22), and at Barnes & Noble in the Del Amo Fashion Center in Torrance from 2-5 PM on Sunday (11/23). For more information on the Palmdale event, call 661-272-9958, and for more info on the Del Amo signing, call 310-370-5552. Hope to see you at one or both of the stores.

And many thanks to those of you who have sent in photos for the “Photos of Cat Readers” page of the official The World Is Your Litter Box website… but we want MORE, MORE, MORE! If you bought The World Is Your Litter Box, (or if you intend to... it would make a great holiday gift for the cat lover in your life!), simply take a photo of your cat (or cats) posed with their copy of the book and send it to the email address shown on the “Photos of Cat Readers” page of the website. Be sure and tell us the names of any and all cats in the photo and the city where you live. We look forward to adding your kitty to the site!

RETURN FROM PARIS COLLATERAL DAMAGE REPORT

As most of you who read my posts know, Steve and his female recently returned from a week’s vacation in Paris. During their absence, I remained at home and was cared for by my pet sitter. Now even though my pet sitter is very nice and does pretty much whatever I want, it was still not the same as having Steve and the female around at all times…for me, it was inconvenient, irksome and problematic. In other words, it was UNACCEPTABLE HUMAN BEHAVIOR for which they had to pay! And if that wasn’t enough, Steve even went so far as to pet a Parisian chat, as evidenced by the above photo. Zut Alors!

Here is the room-by-room collateral damage report for the week Steve and his female were having fun in Par-ee. Needless to say, I had to do most of this on the last day so my pet sitter wouldn’t clean up my handiwork:

Kitchen:

• All accessible cabinets opened and investigated


• Bag of flour opened and spread around floor


• Bag of pasta opened and spread around floor


• Roll of paper towels unraveled and shredded


• Kacked-up hairball on counter near stove


• Excessive cat hair on everythin

Living Room:

• Arm of couch mercilessly shredded


• Chew marks on leaves of all accessible plants


• Dirt from accessible plants flung onto carpet


• Favorite paper bag shredded (I was tired of it anyway)


• Kacked-up hairball on coffee table


• Excessive cat hair on everything

Bathroom:

• Roll of toilet paper shredded into microscopic-sized pieces


• Litter from litter box excavated and flung onto floor


• Hand towels pulled down into litter box


• All items on counter knocked over and/or batted around


• Kacked-up hairball in bathtub


• Excessive cat hair on everything

Bedroom:

• Ridiculous number of pillows on bed disrupted and/or pushed onto floor


• All items on female’s dressing table knocked over and/or batted around


• Sliding closet doors opened and contents thrashed (wherever possible)


• Lamps on bed stands tipped over


• Kacked-up hairball on bedspread


• Excessive cat hair on everything

FIRES IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

Our thoughts and prayers are with all the humans, cats, and other living creatures in the paths of the devestating fires that are currently raging in Southern California. The area is tinder dry and unusually hot for this time of year, so the fire conditions are very severe. We also want to send major thanks to all the firefighters who are doing what they can to put the fires out.

A minor, but related note: Steve's book signing for The World Is Your Litter Box, which was to have taken place at Barnes & Noble in Palmdale on Saturday, was canceled due to the fires and extensive freeway closures in the Los Angeles area. The event has been rescheduled for Saturday, November 22nd, from 1-5 PM.

BACK FROM PARIS & BOOK SIGNING

Steve and his female have returned from their vacation in Paris (thank God), so now they can get back to paying FULL ATTENTION to me! Naturally, they had to pay for leaving me alone with my pet sitter, so I was forced to do a certain amount of collateral damage around the homestead. I'll have the full damage report in a couple days.

Meanwhile, on Saturday November 15th, from 1-5 PM, Steve will be signing copies of The World Is Your Litter Box at Barnes & Noble in Palmdale, CA. If you live in the area, please drop by and say hi. Barnes & Noble is located in The Marketplace at 39228 10th Street West in Palmdale. For more information, please call 661-272-9958.

PARIS VACATION FOR STEVE & HIS FEMALE

Incroyable! On Wednesday, Steve and his female are leaving all their cares (and me) behind and going to Paris for a week’s vacation. A week in one of the most beautiful cities in the world … the sights, the ambience, the street life, the wine, the food, the Parisian chats.

Now, if I were a more magnanimous creature (in other words, not a cat), I would be happy for them. But while Steve and his female are enjoying themselves in the city of l’amour, I’ll be HOME ALONE with no one to care for me but my pet sitter. Boo-hoo-hoo, you say? Well imagine being left on YOUR OWN for eight full days and nights. Sure, I’ll be napping most of that time, but that’s not the point! With my humans gone, I won’t be able to get EXACTLY what I want EXACTLY when I want it! And, needless to say, I won’t be blogging or doing any other writing for a week, being that my typist, Steve, will be in dispose.

But, being the bigger cat, I’m putting my own selfish concerns aside to wish Steve and his female bon voyage… but don’t think there won’t be a VERY HIGH DEGREE of collateral kitty damage around the household to teach them a lesson for leaving me alone while they gallivant around Paree. Mon Dieu!

VOTE!

Well, the big day is about to arrive. After months and months and months of name calling, mudslinging, proselytizing and good old-fashioned B.S., Election Day is finally upon us. I don’t know about your humans, but Steve and his female have become fanatically obsessive about politics to the point where I’m afraid their heads are going to explode. Thank God it’s just about over.

All kidding aside though, this is a VERY important election for humans, cats, and all other living things, Planet Earth included… so if your human has not already voted, tell them to get up off their lazy you-know-what and get down to their polling place. Too much is at stake for any human to sit on the sidelines this time around.

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME - SOUND IDEA OR CONFUSING NONSENSE?

In their ever-amazing infinite wisdom, humans have developed something called daylight savings time, which involves setting the clocks ahead one hour in the spring and setting them back one hour in the fall. Why? Who the heck knows? To me, it just seems like one more thing humans have come up with to confound themselves and make their lives more complicated. And of course, there are always those ninnies who forget to turn their clocks back (or forward) and end up early (or late) for work or whatever.

But Quasi, you ask, how does this daylight savings thing affect us cats? Well, as you know, all felines have internal kitty alarm clocks, but our clocks are not really sophisticated enough to be turned back and forward on a moment’s notice. We require a period of adjustment, and during that period of adjustment, our humans MUST PAY for their folly. For example, let’s say you wake your human at 7:00 each morning. When clocks are turned back one hour, as they will be on Sunday, 7:00 AM becomes 6:00 AM… so, until your kitty clock resets, your human will be awakened at 6:00 AM, or, what used to be 7:00 AM. I know, confusing, huh? Oh, well.

At any rate, make sure your human sets all their clocks back before they go to bed on Saturday, or when they wake up on Sunday. Hey, one positive thing (for you, anyway) is that you’ll get your breakfast an hour earlier!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

For your reading pleasure and enjoyment during these most scary times, here is the “Halloween” excerpt from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)” chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box…

Halloween: A holiday fraught with both fun and danger. Halloween is a time when little humans, and some big ones, dress up in strange costumes, some of which are pretty scary. Usually, the little ones will go out trick-or-treating (whatever that is) and come home with bags full of teeth-rotting candy. This will provide you with a fine new source of diversion as you investigate the bag and remove anything that looks interesting... or edible. Another fun thing about Halloween is the pumpkins, which are carved up by humans to have scary or comical faces. When I was a kitten, I quite enjoyed climbing inside pumpkins for a look-see. However, with my massive expanse, I can no longer do so (oh the curse of aging). Also, if you are a black cat, this holiday’s for you. For some reason, many humans consider it bad luck if a black cat walks in front of them. So, if you are of the ebony persuasion, you can have extra fun by bedeviling those who are blatantly superstitious.

Now, on the danger side, there are a couple things to watch out for. First of all, there's the scariness aspect. Halloween is a time when humans like to frighten each other by making scary sounds, watching scary movies, and wearing horrifying things such as George W. Bush masks. To a cat, needless to say, some of these things are hair-raising to the nth degree. Therefore, it’s often best to find a good place to hide and stay out of your human's way until their sanity returns. Also, if you are an outdoor cat, STAY INSIDE AFTER DARK. At night, dozens of humans are out on the street, trick-or-treating and acting especially goofy. Some teenage male humans see Halloween as a time to pull off pranks such as toilet papering their girlfriends’ homes, which is actually quite delightful. However, some of their antics are much more dangerous and sinister. As with the Fourth of July, there are some heartless, misguided humans who will torment cats for their own amusement. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

NOTE #1: Investigate bags of trick-or-treat candy all you want. But DON’T EAT TOO MUCH! In large quantities, candy will cause tooth decay and make you sick, possibly necessitating a trip to the vet (talk about scary).

NOTE #2: Some humans put candles inside their pumpkins and light them. If you are a kitten, or small enough to investigate the inside of a pumpkin, make sure the candle is out before you go in. Even though flickering flames are attractive and interesting, they will burn you if you get too close. Ouch!

Here's wishing you a fun (and safe) Halloween!

"PHOTOS OF CAT READERS" PAGE ON THE WORLD IS YOUR LITTER BOX WEBSITE IS LIVE!

The “Photos of Cat Readers” page on the official The World Is Your Litter Box website is now live! Check it out at http://www.theworldisyourlitterbox.com/.

We've received some truly wonderful photos already and would love to include your fabulous feline in this one-of-a-kind rogue’s gallery. To participate, simply take a photo of your cat (or cats) posed with their copy of The World Is Your Litter Box and email it to quasi@theworldisyourlitterbox.com. We encourage creativity, but please don’t do anything that might harm (or embarrass) your kitty purely for the sake of art. Be sure and tell us the names of any and all cats in the photo and the city where you live. Also, please say something to the effect that its okay to use your photo on our website... hey, we can't afford any lawsuits here!

If you bought The World Is Your Litter Box, or if you intend to (hint hint), this is your chance to immortalize your beloved kitty in cyberspace and show the world how well-read and erudite they truly are.

THE TROUBLED ECONOMY

For the last few weeks, Steve and his female have spent an inordinate amount of time talking about the economy and how horrible everything is. They’ve also been watching a lot of financial news on TV, where most of the commentators look like their heads are going to explode at any minute. I keep hearing words like “Wall Street,” “Dow Jones,” “stocks,” “bailout” and “depression.” It all sounds pretty dire… almost as frightening as a trip to the vet.

Now I don’t pretend to understand any of this economic mumbo-jumbo, and truth be told, I don’t think too many humans do either. Quite frankly, it just sounds like something else humans have screwed up in their quest to acquire more of those filthy green papers.

But how does this affect us cats, you ask, and what can I do to help?

Well, the first thing is… don’t panic. Even though your human may be gulping calmative pharmaceuticals like candy, you should remain cool and calm regardless of the situation. In these turbulent economic times, your human will be looking to you for comfort and tranquility, so unless they try to save money by skimping on your food or some other human tomfoolery like that, you might want to cut them some slack for the duration. In other words, put some of the kitty antics on hold for awhile and be extra nice to them. And even more important, especially with Christmas season approaching, don’t let them deny you your copy of The World Is Your Litter Box, which is priced at the ridiculously low, recession-friendly, economy-collapsing price of $9.95. Hey, so what if humans are eating their shoes… I need to sell some books here!

Lastly, don’t forget… as FDR said during the Great Depression, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself… and maybe large, mean dogs.” (I added that last part myself.)

THE SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BOOK SIGNING TOUR CONTINUES

This Saturday, October 11th, from 12:00 to 3:00 PM, Steve (my human and co-author) will be signing copies of The World Is Your Litter Box at Barnes & Noble in Huntington Beach, CA. If you live in the Southern California area and have some free time on Saturday, drop by and say hello! As usual, Shill, my robotic book-signing kitty, will be standing in for me so I can stay home and create mayhem. Barnes & Noble is located in the Bella Terra Mall, 7881 Edinger Avenue, Huntington Beach, CA. For more information, call 714-897-8781, or visit the official The World Is Your Litter Box website.

And don’t forget… if you live elsewhere and can’t make it to one of Steve’s book signings, you can order an autographed bookplate for your copy of The World Is Your Litter Box. These handsome bookplates are FREE and we’ll even pay the postage! Just tell us how you want the bookplate made out (you can include your kitties if you like) and your snail-mail address. To request a bookplate, contact quasi@theworldisyourlitterbox.com.

Your Friend,
Quasi