GREAT NEW CAT TOY!

Yesterday, Steve and his female came home with a great new toy for me! Although it’s officially called “Deluxe Hot Cats,” I call it… “The Sausage.” The toy is basically four material-covered cylinders linked together in a manner similar to sausages (hence the name). But, instead of being filled with disgusting, unspeakable grist like real sausage cylinders, my new toy is filled with… yes, that’s right… CATNIP!

Oh, the joy of rolling from one “sausage” cylinder to the next! Plus, because of its length, I can grab one end of "The Sausage" and rub it around my face while gripping the other end with my hind legs! This has GOT to be the BEST human invention yet!

Ironically, Steve and his female got “The Sausage” at a new local pet store called a la Mutt. Normally, I would eschew anything from a store with such a name, but in this case, I’m making an exception!

HOUSECAT HOUSECALL

The other night, Steve and his female were watching a new show on Animal Planet called Housecat Housecall. The premise of the show is an Australian animal psychologist (is everyone on Animal Planet Australian?) goes to peoples’ homes and resolves “problems” with their cats.

On the particular episode I saw (from my usual perch on the back of the couch behind Steve and the female), one family was upset because their cat was paying too much attention to their porcelain figurine collection, which took up a whole wall, but the way. Geez, what a surprise! A cat is interested in a wall of glistening, moving objects that also happen to be breakable! And then another family was concerned because when strangers come over, their cat runs and hides. Madre de Dios! Another shocker! A cat is wary of newcomers in their territory!

The underlying theme here is that these cats are just being cats… it’s the humans who have the “problems.” And personally, if the truth be told, I was hoping to see that one cat do a “bull in a china shop” thing with the porcelain figurine collection. Now THAT would have been some REAL entertainment!

LION CUT, PART 2

Amazing enough, in the head-to-head matchup between Steve and his female over whether I should get a lion cut for the summer, Steve has tasted the fruits (or, should I say meats) of VICTORY! Steve convinced the female that a lion cut on a short-haired cat would look ridiculous. Also, the female, who is on an austerity kick these days, learned that our neighbor kitties' lion cuts cost $65 apiece... so that was probably the real deciding factor.

In the end, the bottom line is this: I don't need no lion cut to prove that I'm the king of beasts in my household!

LION CUT

Today, two of my long-haired neighbor kitty friends are getting lion cuts for the summer. For those not familiar with lion cuts, what they do is shave off all your fur excepting the mane around your neck (if you have one) and tufts above your feet and at the end of your tail. Admittedly, it looks very cute, but it’s also kinda frou-frou… especially for us macho man cats!

Needless to say, Steve’s female thinks I should have a lion cut for the summer… she thinks I’ll look cute. Steve says I don’t need one because I’m a short-haired cat. Personally, I think I look cute enough already, and because I have short fur, a lion cut would be superfluous (although it might make me look and feel more ferocious!).

But what do YOU think? Lion cut or no lion cut? What’s your preference? Please let me know so I can help Steve and the female resolve this earthshaking dilemma in my household.

THANK YOU

Heartfelt thanks to everyone who left such kind and thoughtful messages on my "A Long Lifetime of Loving Cats" post. We really appreciate it, especially Steve's female, who is John's daughter.

Sincerely,

Quasi, Steve and Judy (Steve's Female)

A LONG LIFETIME OF LOVING CATS

Steve and his female just returned from Phoenix, where they went to visit the female's father for Father's Day. The female's father, John, is 91 years old and has been a cat lover all his life. His current cat, Sandy, is 18 years old, so obviously, they the both have very good genes. John passed his love of cats on to the female, which is a very good thing, especially for me!

Unfortunately, John is starting to fade and will soon be crossing over his own Rainbow Bridge. When he does, all the cats he loved and cared for throughout his life will be there to greet him, and it will be quite a crowd. I don't know for certain, but I would venture to say that it will be a very happy time, with hugs, kisses and tummy rubs for all. I can almost hear the collective purring.

ANIMAL FLOOD VICTIMS IN NEED

Once again, Mother Nature has unleased her raging fury, this time on the Midwestern part of the United States. Numerous cities and towns have suffered irreparable damage, and some, like Cedar Rapids, Iowa, are virtually underwater.

Just as with the recent earthquake in China and the cyclone in Myanmar, and putting people aside for just a moment, thousands of animals are in dire need of assistance. Needless to say, disasters of this magnitude put a huge drain on the resources of animal rescue organizations, so if you can afford it (and I know things are tough economically these days), you might want to consider a donation to the organization of your choice. Links to several excellent animal rescue organizations may be found on the "links" page of my website.

And one last thing... if there are any humans out there who STILL think global warming is a hoax or a non-issue, please contact me immediately. I have some acreage on the moon I'd like to sell you!

RACCOON SIGHTING

Last evening, while I was gazing out the window counting the number of stars in the Milky Way, I was shaken from my reverie when a very large raccoon ran across the top of our fence. At first I thought it was an enemy cat, but no, unless enemy cats have started to wear bandit masks. I was so startled, I forgot to hiss!

Meanwhile, Steve's female, who loves animals of ALL kinds, was awestruck by seeing a woodland creature right here in our own little Burbank (actually, there are quite a few of them, including dreaded coyotes). So what does she do? She takes a handful of MY kitty crunchies and lays them across the top of the fence for the raccoon to eat, and for the next hour, all she talked about was the raccoon.... the raccoon... the raccoon!

Well, we saw no more of the raccoon, and in the morning, the crunchies were still on the top of the fence. I'll be watching for its return, though, and this time, I won't forget to hiss!

BOOK SIGNINGS

At 7:30 PM on Thursday, June 12th, on my behalf, Steve will be signing copies of The World Is Your Litter Box at Barnes & Noble in Encino, CA. And at 7:30 PM on the following Thursday, June 19th, Steve will be signing copies of the book at Flintridge Bookstore, 964 Foothill Boulevard in La Canada, CA. And yes, Shill, my robotic book-signing emissary kitty, will be standing in for me at both events!

Barnes & Noble is located in the Encino Marketplace at 16461 Ventura Boulevard, at the corner of Ventura and Hayvenhurst. Flintridge Bookstore is located at 964 Foothill Boulevard. If you live in the Los Angeles area, please try and stop by one or both events.

And don’t forget… if you live elsewhere and bought The World Is Your Litter Box, you can get a free, autographed bookplate. Just let me know how you want the bookplate made out and where to send it (a snail mail address, please). Send your request to quasi@theworldisyourlitterbox.com.

SEX AND THE CITY

Last weekend, Steve and his female saw Sex and the City, the movie based on the HBO show about four close girl friends and their adventures in New York City. I’m sure Steve would have rather seen something more manly and lowbrow, but he actually liked the movie and earned major metrosexual points with the female. Also, I’m sure he enjoyed seeing the moviegoing female humans who dressed up in little cocktail dresses to get into the spirit of the film.

Now, from what I remember about the show on HBO, these girls were always in some state of turmoil and confusion, supposedly with issues involving male humans. But I think the real problem is that none of these girls, in the movie anyway, had cats… in fact, one of them even had a DOG, horror of horrors! And as we all know, life without a cat can be barren and lonely, even in a bustling, exciting place like Manhattan.

HIGH GAS PRICES

Over the past month or so, and especially over the last couple weeks, Steve and his female have been grousing about the high cost of gas. I think gas has something to do with those loud, scary machines that humans drive, but I really don’t understand it. To be perfectly honest, the only gas I’m aware of is what comes out of that little hole under my tail from time to time.

Still, to me, the answer is actually very simple: If humans are so worried about the high cost of gas, why don’t they drive cars and trucks that don’t guzzle so much… or, better yet, figure out a more energy efficient (and cleaner) way to power their vehicles. Do we cats have to think of EVERYTHING?

PEACE DAY WISH

Sometimes, I just don’t understand humans. They can create stunning works of art, cure disease, send people into space, and come up with miraculous inventions like iPods and self-cleaning litter boxes… but they just can’t seem to stop killing each other in destructive wars that never seem to really resolve anything in the long run. Why can’t humans be more like cats? Sure we may have to do battle with an enemy cat from time to time, but hey… I even get along with most of the dogs in the neighborhood (well, some of them anyway).

On this Peace Day, my wish is that somehow, someway, humans can figure out a way to end war and coexist in harmony on Planet Earth. Maybe it will never happen, but why not at least try?

CAT WRITER'S ASSOCIATION

Steve is very excited because he was just accepted as a member of the Cat Writer’s Association (CWA), a prestigious organization for humans who write about us kitties. For a moment there, I thought about contacting CWA and busting Steve, since I am the TRUE author of The World Is Your Litter Box… but, since he did such a nice job of typing what I told him to write, I’m going to let him have his moment in the sun.

Yes, fellow cats, sometimes we have to be a bit magnanimous toward our humans, painful as that may be. But Steve better not get too cocky about this… otherwise, I’ll have to put him in his place as only a cat can!

BOOK EXPO REDUX

Steve and his female completed their weekend of hyping The World Is Your Litter Box at Book Expo America (BEA). From what I can gather, BEA was pretty crowded and intense… certainly no place for a kitty (a real one like me or a robotic one like Shill). Steve and the female came home blathering and drooling at the end of each day, but they did make some new friends and made them aware of my book.

On the international front, Steve and his female learned that the French are VERY excited about The World Is Your Litter Box. Mon dieu! Rights are currently being negotiated for release of the book in the language of l’amour, so within the next few months, Litter Box will be in the paws of chats in France, Belgium and other countries where the French language is spoken. Rights are also being negotiated for publication of the book in other languages, and it will soon be distributed in Canada and the UK… proving once again that the world truly IS your litter box!