Taking a Break....

The World Is Your Litter Box blog is going on hiatus. After four years of pontificating and expressing my kitty opinions, I need a good long nap! I want to thank everyone (cat, human and otherwise) who has read my blog over the years, and assure you that 'ole Quaz is not going away... you can follow me on our official The World Is Your Litter Box Facebook page, on Mousebreath (a great e-zine for kitties), and of course, on Twitter.

A Sad/Happy Story

I know things have been a bit quiet lately around the ‘ole The World Is Your Litter Box blog, but we’ve had some developments around the homestead that have kept my kitty brain awhirl in a couple different directions… both sad and happy.

Let’s get the sad part out of the way first. A short while back, Steve’s mom went to the Rainbow Bridge for humans. She was quite elderly and in the end, went quickly and peacefully, so there’s that to be thankful for. Still, Steve and his female were pretty grief stricken, so me and my housemates (Piglet and Bo Diddley) worked very hard and used an overabundance of kitty cuteness to help them get through what was a very rough period. They still miss Steve’s mom very much, and probably always will, but now that some time has gone by, they’re feeling a bit better about things. Life goes on.

Now for the happy part. As those of you who’ve read The World Is STILL Your Litter Box know, I was singularly and personally responsible for turning Steve’s mom into an unabashed cat lover. It wasn’t easy at first because before Steve’s mom made a visit to our home a few years back, she wasn’t particularly fond of cats. She didn’t hate cats as some misguided humans do, but she wasn’t well acquainted with the wonders of kittydom, so she was kind of ambivalent about us. Well, during her visit, I had plenty of time to work my kitty magic on her and change all that, and by the time she left to go home, she was well on her way to being a full-blown cat nut!

Shortly thereafter, Steve’s mom got a cat of her own… a beautiful little tortie that she named Emily (that’s her in the photo above). Living with Emily made Steve’s mom realize how truly unique and wonderful we felines truly are, and she very quickly progressed to A-1 cat nut status (that’s when a human comes to the realization that their kitty is the greatest and most important thing on Earth, to be doted on and adored to the exclusion of pretty much everything else). Well, of course, when Steve’s mom went to the human Rainbow Bridge, there was no question that Steve and his female would adopt Emily, and that’s exactly what happened.

For the first few days, as is normally the case when a cat goes to a new home, Emily was very disoriented and frightened. Steve put her in a separate room until she could become acclimated to her new surroundings. In a surprisingly short amount of time, Emily relaxed and made herself comfortable, and as only a female kitty can do, she let us hapless males know, in no uncertain terms, that SHE is now the boss! Actually, it wasn’t very hard to do because we’re all VERY smitten with her (especially Piglet, who tries to steal kisses, only to be rebuffed like an unwanted suitor. He keeps trying though, the little Lothario!).

So what began as a sad event has turned into pure joy around our house. Emily has settled into her new fur-ever home very nicely and has become one of the gang. A true happy ending! Still, I have to keep an eye on her at all times. Like I said in The World Is Your Litter Box… females can be tricky. You never quite know what they’re up to.

Where to Find Quasi's Books

Well, it’s a new year and time for my first shameless book plug of 2012!

From time to time, we get emails from cat lovers who have looked for my books in bookstores and been unable to find them. The sad fact is that most brick-and-mortar bookstores are gone, and many of those that are still with us tend to limit their stock to bestsellers and books by established authors and celebrities, etc. Sure, I’m a celebrity and a best-selling author (in my mind, anyway!), but the competition for shelf space is ferocious and the bookstores are VERY picky about what they stock. You can easily find Confessions of a Guidette by Snooki from Jersey Shore, but if you want timeless literary treasures like MY books, you have to hunt for them.

So, where can I buy The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box, you ask? The best place is Amazon.com, regardless of where in the world you live. Amazon always has the books in stock and can get them to you quickly, and with a minimum of hassle and cost. The World Is STILL Your Litter Box is also available as an e-book for readers such as the Kindle and the Nook, and The World Is Your Litter Box will be available as an e-book sometime this year.

So if you love cats and want to read my books (and who doesn’t?), go on-line and order them from Amazon.com… then, get ready to laugh your tail off!

Happy New Year!

Just a quick post to extend our hope that the new year brings and happiness and prosperity to cats and cat lovers everywhere! For cats, "prosperity" means more food, more treats and more lovin!

Bring on 2012!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

As the yuletide season nears its crescendo and 2011 draws to a close, Steve (my human) and I would like to extend our best wishes for a wonderful and peaceful Christmas holiday, and for a healthy and happy new year. This past year has been pretty, shall we say, challenging… but, hey, aren’t they all?

And, for your holiday reading pleasure – and some good laffs – here’s the “Christmas” section of the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)” chapter from The World Is Your Litter Box…

            Christmas: The mother of all holidays... a time for joy, goodwill, and complete madness. This is a holiday that is nothing but fun for cats. The Christmas lights. The presents. The tree. The tinsel. The ornaments. The egg nog. Deck the halls indeed!

Although many stores start selling Christmas stuff in July, or so it seems, most humans start their serious Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving (although, for extra thrills and chills, some masochistic humans wait until December 24th). This means the Christmas season lasts around one month – one full month of crowded malls and post offices, angry drivers duking it out over parking spaces, mind-deadening Christmas music, maxed-out credit cards, and endless unrealistic TV commercials showing rich people buying each other plasma TVs and other expensive presents that normal mortals can’t afford. Why do humans put themselves through it?  I don’t know.

But forget them. What about us cats, you say?  Just what’s so special about Christmas from the feline perspective?

Well, fellow reveler, let’s start with that most traditional of holiday traditions, the Christmas tree. A week or two before Christmas, most humans bring in a fir or pine-type tree from outside and decorate it with lights, tinsel, candy canes and ORNAMENTS. These colorful shiny balls may possibly be the best thing about Christmas – the way they dangle and glisten so invitingly, just begging to be batted at. Who can resist?  Not me, that’s for sure. Or you either. And why should we?  After all, if our humans were truly worried about damage to their ornaments, they wouldn’t hang them in such a tempting location. So don’t be bashful, fellow sultan of swat. Whack at those ornaments until your heart’s content. And hey, if you happen to knock a few (or several) off the tree, don’t sweat it. It’s Christmas!

Then there’s the yuletide thrill of climbing the Christmas tree. However, a word of caution here. A few years back, I shinnied up my tree all the way to the top. Just as I was getting ready to do my impersonation of the Star of Bethlehem, my massive kitty girth upset the fundamental balance of gravity and the tree topped over with a resounding, tinkling crash (those ornaments DO break if they hit the ground hard enough). Naturally, Steve was pretty chagrined... although, deep down, I think he thought it was pretty funny.

It’s also great to sleep under the Christmas tree. You can even pretend you are a present if you like. And there is nothing like a refreshing drink of cool, pine-scented Christmas tree water to really get you in the holiday spirit.

Another great thing about Christmas is the presents, or, should I say, the ribbon and wrapping on the presents. The amazing thing is, fellow cat, that after all the painstaking planning, the stupefying shopping and the manual dexterity-challenging wrapping of gifts, the actual present-opening ritual is over in a matter of minutes, leaving an orgy of detritus for you to play in. Oh the joy of taking a flying leap at a mountain of crumpled-up wrapping paper, the glee of scattering colorful ribbons and bows around the living room, the unparalleled pleasure of climbing into new, unexplored empty boxes, the ego-flattering self indulgence of posing for photographs amid the rubble. And because your human won’t want you to feel left out of all the gift-giving – and receiving – they will probably buy something nice for you. In my house, it’s usually just a trifle like catnip or a cat toy, but hey, it’s the thought that counts, right?  Besides, on top of all the other previously-mentioned delights of Christmas, an extra present is merely icing on the cake.

And of course, when the merriment finally comes to an end and your human is cleaning up the wreckage, there is nothing better than a contented-cat snooze in front of a roaring yuletide fire.

NOTE #1: Many children-humans break or become disinterested in their Christmas presents within minutes of receiving them, thus leaving them for you to play with and break further, if you so desire. Also, be sure to investigate the presents given and received by adult humans. Most likely, you will find some nice new clothing to curl up and sleep on.

NOTE #2: Sparkly and inviting as it may seem,                                  DO NOT EAT TINSEL.

NOTE #3: Some humans will become very angry when you knock ornaments and other objects off the Christmas tree. Many will even create an ornament timber line, that is, they will only hang ornaments in positions above your reach. DON’T LET THIS STOP YOU FROM HAVING YOUR GOD-GIVEN RIGHT TO BAT AT CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS. If ornaments are placed beyond your reach, climb up the tree and rock it back and forth like a bear at Yellowstone National Park. This will surely cause a few things to fall, or at least tumble to a place where you can get at them. (For ways to combat your human=s anger over broken Christmas ornaments, see chapter entitled “How to Get Away with Unacceptable Kitty Behavior.”

Holiday Gift Idea for Cats & Cat Lovers (Guess What It Might Be?)

Another year is winding down and that means that the holiday season is in full swing (Gulp!). You know what this means… crowded shopping malls and post offices, mind-deadening Christmas music, maxed-out credit cards, and endless, unrealistic TV commercials showing rich people buying each other ridiculously- expensive presents that normal mortals can’t afford.

Well, this year, ‘ole Quaz is going to make things a lot easier for you. If you’re reading this, I’m assuming that you’re either a cat or a cat lover, and what could be a finer gift for cat lovers than copies of my books, The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box? Now here’s the best part… you can order these books from Amazon.com and avoid the mall completely! Think of it… no crowds, no hassles, no Johnny Mathis Christmas songs. Amazon will even do the gift wrapping for you, and if you order both books together, you can save a few bucks on shipping. Voila!

So this year, get the cat (or cat lover) on your holiday gift list what they REALLY want – The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box – and make it easy on yourself. Why mess around when the answer to the question, “What should I get for all the cat people in my life?” is just a few easy clicks away. And I guarantee you this… these books will bring laughter and enjoyment to anyone who shares their home with a cat and fully understands what wonderful little creatures we cats truly are.

Hey, I managed to get through this entire blog post without saying that my books are the PURR-fect gift for cat lovers!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Yes, once again it’s Thanksgiving… that wonderful time of year when we stop and give thanks for all the wonderful things we have. Oh, heck, who am I kidding? Sure, even in these difficult economic times, most of us have a lot to be thankful for, but right now, the big thing for humans is getting together with loved ones and slamming as much food as possible into their gaping maws.

Here’s a little Thanksgiving missive from a cat’s perspective… from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger) chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box…

Thanksgiving: A good holiday for cats, even if it’s not so good for turkeys. At Thanksgiving, human families get together to gorge themselves and good feeling is in the air (as are an abundance of good cooking smells!) In most households with male and female humans, the male usually spends the day watching football on TV while the female toils in the kitchen preparing Thanksgiving dinner. In addition to providing engrossing tension and lively, entertaining arguments, this situation will afford you a good lap to sleep in, unless your male human becomes over-exuberant and spills beer on you, and plenty of interesting activity in the kitchen. Once the table is set, you might want to jump up there and make sure all the silverware, plates, and glasses are properly arranged. And when dinner is finally served, be sure to go from person to person looking as cute (and hungry) as possible. There is nothing better than Thanksgiving turkey. Yum! Then, when dinner is over and everyone is sated beyond the point of decency, including you, you can go into the bedroom and have a nice snooze on everyone’s coats, just like on New Years Eve and other holidays during cold seasons. Yes, there is much to be thankful for.

Along with Steve and Judy (my humans), I want to wish everyone - cat, human and otherwise - a very safe and happy Thanksgiving!

Quasi Reviews Puss in Boots

Yesterday, I saw the greatest movie ever made in the history of filmdom. No, not Citizen Kane, Gone with the Wind or Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. The film I’m talking about is – that’s right – the wonderful new animated feature, Puss in Boots. Now a quick disclaimer here… I didn’t actually see Puss in Boots myself, although as an omniscient cat, I know all about it. Steve and his female (my humans) did, in fact, see the movie and came home raving about it, so in their stead, I’m going to review it from a cat’s perspective. Hey, you have to give me a little poetic license here and suspend belief while you read this!

Anyway, if you love cats (and who doesn’t?), you MUST see Puss in Boots. The movie is action-packed, laugh-out-loud funny, incredibly well done, and VERY cute! I must compliment the humans who made Puss in Boots… they really have cats down cold, and they haven’t missed a trick. I don’t want to give anything away, but during the course of the film, you’ll see kitty cuteness ranging from purring, meowing, hissing and scooting to dance fighting and Puss’ use of his big limpid eyes to get humans to do his bidding. And most dear to your old pal Quasi, there are some exceptionally funny litter box references (Hey, I wonder if any of the filmmakers have read The World Is Your Litter Box before they started working on the film?)

The supporting characters are also most delightful. In addition to an assortment of human villagers and medieval soldier-types, there’s Humpty Dumpty, an evil Jack & Jill, a very large goose, and my ultimate favorite (and new mancat crush) Kitty Softpaws. OMG, just thinking about those soft paws makes my fur tingle!

So, fellow cat, tell your human to go see Puss in Boots right away, and who knows… maybe they can even sneak you into the movie theater. If not (or you’re too scared to deal with the madness of the multiplex), make sure your human buys you a copy of Puss in Boots on DVD when it comes out. Believe me, you won’t be disappointed, and you’ll probably want to watch it again and again.

In conclusion, I really can’t say it any better than Puss himself.  Puss in Boots is… ME-WOW!

Happy Halloween!

I thought I would get a jump on Halloween this year and be among the first to wish everyone (cat, human and otherwise) a very happy Halloween! And this week, all "Quasi's Questions for Cats" on the official The World Is Your Litter Box Facebook page will be Halloween-related. If you haven't yet visited the Litter Box Facebook Page, here's a link.

Meanwhile, for your enjoyment, here's the Halloween section from the "Holiday Fun (& Danger)" chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box.

Halloween: Another holiday fraught with both fun and danger. Halloween is a time when little humans, and some big ones, dress up in strange costumes, some of which are pretty scary. Usually, the little ones will go out trick-or-treating (whatever that is) and come home with bags full of teeth-rotting candy. This will provide you with a fine new source of diversion as you investigate the bag and remove anything that looks interesting... or edible. Another fun thing about Halloween is the pumpkins, which are carved up by humans to have scary or comical faces. When I was a kitten, I quite enjoyed climbing inside pumpkins for a look-see. However, with my massive expanse, I can no longer do so (oh the curse of aging). Also, if you are a black cat, this holiday’s for you. For some reason, many humans consider it bad luck if a black cat walks in front of them. So, if you are of the ebony persuasion, you can have extra fun by bedeviling those who are blatantly superstitious.

Now, on the danger side, there are a couple things to watch out for. First of all, there=s the scariness aspect. Halloween is a time when humans like to frighten each other by making scary sounds, watching scary movies, and wearing horrifying things such as zombie masks. To a cat, needless to say, some of these things are hair-raising to the nth degree. Therefore, it’s often best to find a good place to hide and stay out of your human=s way until their sanity returns. Also, if you are an outdoor cat, STAY INSIDE AFTER DARK. At night, dozens of humans are out on the street, trick-or-treating and acting especially goofy. Some teenage male humans see Halloween as a time to pull off pranks such as toilet papering their girlfriends’ homes, which is actually quite delightful. However, some of their antics are much more dangerous and sinister. As with the Fourth of July, there are some heartless, misguided humans who will torment cats for their own amusement. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS TOO!

NOTE #1: Investigate bags of trick-or-treat candy all you want. But DON’T EAT TOO MUCH!  In large quantities, candy will cause tooth decay and make you sick, possibly necessitating a trip to the vet (talk about scary).

NOTE #2: Some humans put candles inside their pumpkins and light them. If you are a kitten, or small enough to investigate the inside of a pumpkin, make sure the candle is out before you go in. Even though flickering flames are attractive and interesting, they will burn you if you get too close. Ouch!

Also, a quick word for any humans who might be reading this... be sure to keep your pets safe on Halloween night. Otherwise, we hope everyone has a great (and scary) time!

Ten Good Reasons Why You Should Buy The World Is STILL Your Litter Box

Well, fellow cats and cat lovers, it’s been awhile since I’ve hammered you with a yet another shameless promotion for my books – those would be The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box, in case you’d forgotten – so, strap yourself in!

Today, I’m focusing primarily on The World Is STILL Your Litter Box, the ultra-hilarious sequel to my first book. Now, I could bore you with all kinds of tired clichés such as “If you liked The World Is Your Litter Box, you’ll LOVE The World Is STILL Your Litter Box” and “The World Is STILL Your Litter Box is EVEN FUNNIER than Quasi’s first book”… even though those statements are most certainly true. But instead, I’ve decided to break it down to the fundamentals and give you ten good reasons every cat (and cat lover) on earth should buy The World Is STILL Your Litter Box…

• The World Is STILL Your Litter Box is available as an e-book, so you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your home to purchase a copy.
• The World Is STILL Your Litter Box has more laughs per page than Dick Cheney’s new book.
• The World Is STILL Your Litter Box includes EVEN MORE ways to flummox your human and make your life EVEN MORE pleasant and enjoyable than it already is
• Kim Kardashian LOVES The World Is STILL Your Litter Box (I don’t know if that’s really true, but hey, a reference to the Kardashians can’t hurt, right?)
• Reading The World Is STILL Your Litter Box will give you something interesting to talk about at boring cocktail parties
• The World Is STILL Your Litter Box includes a list of breezy excuses for unacceptable kitty behavior and several sure-fire ways to make sure your human keeps your litter box clean (how helpful is THAT?)
• The World Is STILL Your Litter Box will teach you creative new antics that are guaranteed to make your human say “Awwwwwww”
• Reading The World Is STILL Your Litter Box will make you a more intelligent and well-rounded cat
• We need the money more than famous celebrity authors
• The World Is STILL Your Litter Box will solve all the ills of the world (I wish!) 

So there you have it, fellow cat… ten irrefutable reasons why you should convince your human to buy you your own personal copy of The World Is STILL Your Litter Box. However, if you’re still not convinced, you can read some LOL funny excerpts on the official The World Is Your Litter Box website.

The Troubled Economy and How Cats Can Help (Part 2)

In my continuing effort to personally resolve all of America's economic problems, I've come up with yet another meritorious idea to help right the ship and get the economy back on track. For this one, I'll need every able-bodied cat in the USA to help me. But don't worry, my fellow Americats...  you won't have to go to work or give up any precious nap time. The concept is so simple, I can't believe some other cat (or government genius) didn't think of it before! My idea...

                NATIONAL PURR DAY


Here's how it will work... On a given date and time (to be determined), every American human will sit in their favorite chair and hold a kitty on their lap. For humans who don't have cats (poor devils!), one cat will be issued to each person for this event. Then, upon a signal from President Obama - perhaps the popping open of a can of cat food on national TV - all cats across the USA will begin purring simultaneously. This will create a soothing, rumbling nationwide vibration, which will make everyone feel happy and serene. Just think of it... the purring of power of cats harnessed for the good of all mankind!

Well, fellow cat, right about now, you're probably thinking something along the lines of, "Hey, I love it! But how will a national purr-out solve our economic ills?" Well, to be perfectly honest, it won't. But, like FDR said back in the Great Depression, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself, and if everyone just calms down a bit, things can only get better. Right?

And hey all you kitties... even if National Purr Day never becomes a reality, you can still jump up in your human's lap and purr whenever you want. After all, as all cat people know, things can never really be THAT bad when you've got a purring kitty on your lap.

The Troubled Economy and How Cats Can Help

For the last several weeks, Steve and his female have spent an inordinate amount of time talking about the economy and how horrible everything is. They’ve also been watching a lot of financial news on TV, where most of the commentators look like their heads are going to explode at any minute. I keep hearing words like “Wall Street,” “Dow Jones,” “stocks,” “deficit” and “depression.” It all sounds pretty dire… almost as frightening as a trip to the vet.

Now I don’t pretend to understand any of this economic mumbo-jumbo, and truth be told, I don’t think too many humans do either. Quite frankly, this whole mess just sounds like something else humans have screwed up in their quest to acquire more of those filthy green papers.

But how does this affect us cats, you ask, and what can I do to help?

Well, the first thing is… don’t panic. Even though your human may be gulping calmative pharmaceuticals like candy, you should remain cool and calm regardless of the situation. In these turbulent economic times, your human will be looking to you for comfort and tranquility, so unless they try to save money by skimping on your food or some other human tomfoolery like that, you might want to cut them some slack for the duration. In other words, put some of the kitty antics on hold for awhile and be extra nice to them. A kitty's love and affection can go a long way toward soothing human angst and anxiety. That said, however, you MUST draw the line if your human refuses to buy you your own personal copies of The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box in order to save a few bucks. Hey, tough economy or not, I need to sell some books here!

Lastly, don’t forget… as FDR said during the Great Depression, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself… and maybe large, mean dogs.” (I added that last part myself!)

Photos of Cat Readers

With summer winding down and fall approaching, we're looking to beef up the "Photos of Cat Readers" page on the Litter Box website. This page has been a very popular feature since we put the site up, but it's been awhile since any new cat readers have been added. So...

If you've purchased The World Is Your Litter Box or The World Is STILL Your Litter Box (or both), simply take a photo of your cat or cats with one or both of the books (as shown in the photo above), and email it to quasi@theworldisyourlitterbox.com. We'll add it to the "Photos of Cat Readers" page on our website, and also to our Facebook page, and it will be seen by zillions of other cat lovers around the world. Be sure to include the name of all cats in the photo and the name of the city where you live.

The kitties in the photo (L-R) are Andy from Burbank, California, Baby Cow from Bonanza Oregon, and Seamus from Lynnwood, Washington.

Click here to visit the "Photos of Cat Readers" page on the Litter Box website.

Fun New Feature on The World Is Your Litter Box Facebook Page

The official The World Is Your Litter Box Facebook page is fast approaching 3,000 “Likes,” and in our continuing effort to promote kittydom to its fullest effect (and, of course, my two books), we’ve added a fun new feature to the page. The feature is called “Quasi’s Questions for Cats,” and will run every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for the foreseeable future… in other words, until I run out of ideas and/or need a rejuvenating nap. It’s a great chance to interact with other cats (and cat lovers) and be wildly amused.

So far, we’ve posed two questions – what’s your favorite human food treat from the dinner table? and, what’s the cute kitty pose you use when you REALLY want something? We’ve gotten responses and comments from all around the country – nay, all around the world – and they’re VERY entertaining. And from a kitty perspective, it's very educational to find out what other cats are doing to confound and one-up their humans on a day-to-day basis. In fact, I’ve already gleaned some great new ideas myself. All cats and their humans are invited to respond to the questions, make comments, etc. Come join in the fun!

If you haven’t yet visited The World Is Your Litter Box Facebook page (and clicked “Like”), here’s a link. Do yourself a favor and visit often. Hey, we may not be able to resolve the deficit issue, but at least we can provide some good laughs for cat lovers!

Problems of the World Getting You Down? We Have the Cure!

Unless you’re a hermit that lives in a deep, dark cave somewhere with no Internet access (is there such a place?), you know that things are not so great on good ‘ole Planet Earth these days. Many countries are experienced searing, deadly heat waves, millions of humans are unemployed, there was a horrible shooting and bombing incident in Norway, and the U.S. economy is teetering on the brink of disaster because the so-called adults we’ve elected can’t agree on anything.

In times like these, when there isn’t much to smile or laugh about, there’s only one thing to do. Yes, that’s right… watch funny cat videos. And to do our part to help bummed out humans and cats everywhere, we’ve gathered all the hottest (and funniest) cat videos in one place on The World Is Your Litter Box website for you to enjoy. Why wring your hands (or paws) in anguish over the state of the world when instead, you can lose yourself in a miasma of kitty hilarity and laugh your tail off? Hey, it only makes sense!

Click here to go directly to our “Fun Cat Videos” page of the official The World Is Your Litter Box website… you’ll be glad you did!

Summer Reading Suggestions & Safety Tips for Cats

With summer here and broiling temperatures in many parts of the USA (and in many other parts of the world, for that matter), you’re probably looking for a couple good books to read while you’re hanging out at the beach or lounging by the pool like the kitty in the photo. Might I humbly suggest The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box? They’re light and funny so they won’t depress you like all those books about the horrible state of the world, they’re chic and ultra-hip so you can impress your friends with your excellent taste in literature, and they’re very lightweight so you won’t strain yourself carrying them to your favorite reading spot. What could be better?

And while I’m at it, here are a few summer safety tips for my kitty compadres. First, be sure to use PLENTY of sun block if you plan on lounging about (or napping) in the out-of-doors… you don’t want those deadly gamma rays to singe your fur or burn your tender skin. Be sure to drink plenty of fluids so you stay hydrated… in fact, why not ask your human to add some refreshing ice cubes to your drinking water? DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT mess around with dogs that are lying in the sun… the heat makes them extra grouchy and just because they look wasted with their tongues lolling out doesn’t mean they won’t get up and chase you. And lastly, if you go for a refreshing dip in the pool and engage in some entertaining underwater hijinx, don’t forget to come up for air.

Have a safe and happy summer!

Lion Cuts - Ferocious, But VERY Cute

Now that summer has arrived and things are warming up here in good ‘ole Burbank, my two longhaired housemates, Bo Diddley and Piglet, have gotten their annual lion cuts. As you can see by the photos (Bo Diddley on the left, Piglet on the right), they look very cute… however, just because they look like little lions doesn’t mean they can strut around and act like BIG lions. Especially Piglet.

Yes, that’s right… the smallest member of the pride, who challenges my alpha maleness on a daily basis anyway, now thinks that he has somehow acquired mystical lion powers, and that he is suddenly the king of the jungle around here. Wrong again, Chukko. As all my fellow alpha males know, there can be only one lion king in each household, and in our household, that lion king is ME! And when challenged, even by a little lion like Piglet, I have to administer a flurry of whaps, hisses and moans to restore order.

So if you’re an alpha like me and you find yourself confronted by an interloper like Piglet (whether they have a lion cut or not), simply pull out your copy of The World Is STILL Your Litter Box and refer to the chapter, “How to Live with Multiple Cats & Alpha Males” (Hey, I couldn’t resist yet one more shameless plug for my second book!). You’ll find all kinds of tips and advice for dealing with pretenders to your throne of alpha maleness.

Still, I must admit, Bo Diddley and Piglet DO look rather ferocious (in an adorable kind of way). In fact, seeing them with their lion cuts almost makes me wish that I was a longhaired cat so I could get one too.

Mousebreath Is Here!

The takeover of the Internet by cats has recently taken a giant leap (or, should I say, pounce) forward with the introduction of Mousebreath, an online lifestyle magazine written primarily by cats for cats and the humans who love them. It’s sort of like Vanity Fair for kitties, only MUCH better! No pesky Kardashians, J-Lo, Paris or Lindsey to take up valuable space with their boring human antics…. just cats, cats, cats all the time! And, if that’s not enough, your friend Quasi has joined Mousebreath as a contributor with a column, “Quasi’s Corner.” How cool is that?

Mousebreath has all types of fun and interesting things for us felines, including news, lifestyle info, photos, games, free stuff, and columns such as “Meezer Meditations with Chey & Ichiro,” “Ask Max Monday,” and “In Da Dugout with Jeter Harris… and, of course, “Quasi’s Corner.” You can even read Mousebreath on a Kindle. Talk about state of the art!

So here’s a big meow out to Karen Nichols, who created Mousebreath with help from Skeezix, a highly-regarded blogging cat and one of my personal kitty friends. Tina Brown has nothing on Karen and Skeezix!

Click here to check out Mousebreath.

An Idea for a New Show on Animal Planet - For Cats

Every so often, Animal Planet comes up with a new show about how to deal with “problem” cats. First there was “Housecat House Calls,” and now it’s “My Cat from Hell.” Sounds great, you might be thinking, but from a cat’s perspective, these shows have it all wrong. Why? Because both of these shows start with the premise that something is wrong with the cat. At least Jackson Galaxy (oh, please), the host of “My Cat from Hell” gets it that cats march to the beat of their own drummer, but on both shows, most of the human cat owners want to bend their kitty to their will. Dummkopfs!

Let me give you an example. On one episode of “Housecat House Calls,” a family had an entire wall full of glittering, moving figurines and was upset because their cat kept knocking them over. Well, hello, nitwitskis, what did you expect? What cat wouldn’t be interested in a wall of glittering, moving figurines? And yet, this family considered their cat to be a “problem.” Personally, I would have loved to see that cat go wild and thrash every last one of those figurines. Now, THAT would have been some high-quality television!

So as a kitty who is always thinking, I have an idea for a new show that will be much more entertaining and amusing for us cats. It will be called “My Human from Hell,” and it will view “problem” humans from the cat’s perspective. The show will start with the fundamental premise that cats do whatever they want whenever they want and don’t want to be bothered, played with or smothered with affection unless they choose to be. To drive this point home, any human that doesn’t cater to their cat’s every want and whim will be scorned and blithely ignored.  And when a cat is being annoyed by a “problem” human, they will hiss and whap, and if the offense is bad enough, scratch, bite and draw blood. Yes, “My Human from Hell” will have it all – action, violence, bloodletting – just what America wants.  Hey, you never know… “My Human from Hell” could be even better than “True Blood” or “Dexter.”

So, fellow feline, do your part… call Animal Planet today and tell them you want – no, you DEMAND – that they add “My Human from Hell” to their slate of programs. Maybe I’ll even host it myself. Of course, if I do, I’ll need a cool name. Hmmm, let’s see… how about Quasi Solar System?

Happy Father's Day, Cat Dads!

Hard to believe, but there are actually humans on this earth who do not care for cats (the fools!), and many of those of those humans are males. Yes, fellow feline, I’m sure you’ve heard it all before… cats are too independent, cats are sneaky, cats don’t love you, etc., etc., etc.

Well, the fact is (according to the Humane Society), there are 38.2 million households in the U.S. that have at least one cat. Of those 38.2 million households, I would guess that around half have at least one human male, which means, if my math is correct, that there are 19.1 million human males in the U.S. who live with and love – or at least like – us cats.

Why bring all this up, you ask? Well, this coming Sunday is Father’s Day, and if your father is one of the 19.1 human males that live with and love cats, you’re probably wondering what gift to get them. And what better gift could there possibly be for a cat-loving dad then their own copies of The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box? Sure, some human dads might prefer electronic gadgets, sporting goods, cases of beer and things like that, but those things won’t make him laugh his tail off like my books will! Plus, my books are WAY CHEAPER than electronic gadgets and all that other stuff. Order ‘em both from Amazon today and they’ll get them to you by Father’s Day. And if you want to read LOL-funny excerpts from both books, visit the official The World Is Your Litter Box website.

Meanwhile, here's wishing everyone, especially you cat dads, a HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!