HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Along with my human, Steve, I want to wish all my kitty and human friends a HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. I hope your Valentine's Day is filled with lots of love. And for your amusement and reading pleasure, here's the 'Valentine's Day" section of the "Holiday Fun (and Danger)" chapter in The World Is Your Litter Box. Enjoy...

Valentine’s Day: A good holiday for cats. Love is in the air and typically, male humans give female humans gifts such as candy and flowers. This means you will have wrapping paper and ribbons to play with and flowers to sniff (and eat). If your human gets a box of candy and leaves the top off, you can have the sumptuous pleasure of licking and sampling each individual piece. Because humans tend to get all mushy and gooey on Valentine’s day, you can usually expect to receive a little extra lovin’ yourself, and maybe even a present. Steve and his female are such shameless cat lovers that they always buys me a Valentine present, usually a cat toy, catnip, or the most expensive kind of kitty food. Ain’t love grand!

NOTE: In some instances on Valentine’s Day, your human may pay more attention to another human than you. This is UNACCEPTABLE HUMAN BEHAVIOR and cannot be tolerated. If your human is being amorous with another human and ignoring you, jump between (or on) them and meow loudly to express your displeasure. Then, turn your back, stick your rear end in their faces and march off in a huff. Make them understand that Valentine’s Day or not, you are numero uno and will not be ignored.

CAT GODDESS TEMPLE FOUND

As every feline lover knows, cats were worshipped as gods in ancient Egypt (as they should be everywhere and at all times). Still, some uninformed humans question whether cat worship in Egypt was truly a reality. Well, Mr. and Ms. Doubting Thomas, this bit of news should put your skepticism to rest…

A few days ago, in the city of Alexandria, archeologists unearthed the ruins of a 2000-year-old temple that appears to have been dedicated to the Egyptian cat goddess, Bastet. Several statues of Bastet (pictured in the photo above) were found in the temple, which is believed to have belonged to Queen Berenice, the wife of King Ptolemy III and obviously a supreme cat lover. Several cans of mummified Mixed Grill and Kitty Stew were also found (ha-ha, not really… I just made that part up!).

With their god-like status, I wonder if cats back then were subject to discipline for acts of unacceptable kitty behavior. If so, it must have gone something like, “Pardon me, your Highness, but if it pleases you, would you deign to stop scratching up the arm of my divan.” Yes, those cats in ancient Egypt must have had it pretty good.

HELP FOR PEOPLE (AND ANIMALS) IN HAITI

On Tuesday, as I’m sure everyone knows, Haiti was struck by a devastating earthquake that toppled buildings, killed thousands of people, and left thousands more homeless. In terms of rescue and recovery, this disaster is especially dire because Haiti is a very poor country with few resources of its own.

I call on all my fellow cats to convince their humans to help the people (and animals) in Haiti by making a $10 donation to the International Red Cross. Simply text “Haiti” to the number 90999, and the donation will be charged to your phone bill. Steve and his female just made their donations, so I know it’s very easy to do.

I realize things are very tight with the economy being the way it is, but Haiti desperately needs our help… so if you can afford to make a donation, please do it right away.

COLD WEATHER

As we start the new year and the new decade, many parts of the United States are buried under snow and experiencing extremely cold weather. Not to rub it in for you cats who live in these places, but here in Southern California, it’s been sunny and in the low 70s all week. (Please don’t hate me because I’m warm!).

Anyway, as a cat who has never lived in a frigid place, and who has never even seen snow for that matter, I have some questions about the cold that perhaps some of my cooler-climate kitty friends in the blogosphere can answer…

• Does snow tickle when it falls on your nose?
• How does snow feel when you step in it?
• How do you drink frozen water?
• Does it hurt to breathe when the air is so cold?
• Can you still climb trees when they have snow on them?
• How do you form snowballs with no opposable thumbs?
• Can your human still get to the store to buy your food?
• Does your tongue stick to your fur when you lick yourself?
• Can you swim in snow?
• Where is all this snow going to go when it finally melts?

Here’s hoping all cats in cold climates have a nice fireplace to sleep in front of during the day and warm humans to cuddle up with at night.

QUASI'S NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR 2010

Around this time each year, many humans make what are known as New Year’s resolutions. From what I can gather, these resolutions are changes humans plan to make in the new year, such as breaking a bad habit or starting a new project of some kind.

Although New Year’s resolutions are made with the best intentions, I’m aware that most humans break them, usually before the new year is more than one or two weeks old. With that in mind, here are my New Year’s resolutions for 2010…

• Stop begging for food while Steve and the female are eating
• Stop shredding the arm of the couch
• Stop leaving my cat toys scattered around the house
• Stop grabbing Steve’s arm when he gives me a tummy rub
• Stop smoking (just kidding!)
• Stop climbing up screen doors
• Stop singing operatic arias when Steve and the female are sleeping
• Stop abusing catnip
• Stop going up on the roof and pretending I can’t get down
• Stop coughing up hairballs on the TV remote

And like humans who make New Year’s resolutions, I vow to be VERY diligent in adhering to each one of these pledges (and if you believe that, I have some acreage on the moon I’d like to sell you). Meanwhile, I wish all creatures, cats, humans and otherwise, a happy new year and all the best in 2010!

HERE COMES SANTA.....

Well, we’re into the final week before the arrival of Santa Claus (or, more appropriately for us cats, Santa Claws), which means that if you haven’t done your Christmas shopping yet, you better get on it tout suite! Meanwhile, for your holiday pleasure and amusement, here’s the “Christmas” section from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)” chapter in The World Is Your Litter Box….

Christmas: The mother of all holidays... a time for joy, goodwill, and complete madness. This is a holiday that is nothing but fun for cats. The Christmas lights. The presents. The tree. The tinsel. The ornaments. The egg nog. Deck the halls indeed!

Although many stores start selling Christmas stuff in July, or so it seems, most humans start their serious Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving (although, for extra thrills and chills, some masochistic humans wait until December 24th). This means the Christmas season lasts around one month – one full month of crowded malls and post offices, angry drivers duking it out over parking spaces, mind-deadening Christmas music, maxed-out credit cards, and endless unrealistic TV commercials showing rich people buying each other gigantic big screen TVs and other expensive presents that normal mortals can’t afford. Why do humans put themselves through it? I don’t know.

But forget them. What about us cats, you say? Just what’s so special about Christmas from the feline perspective?

Well, fellow reveler, let’s start with that most traditional of holiday traditions, the Christmas tree. A week or two before Christmas, most humans bring in a fir or pine-type tree from outside and decorate it with lights, tinsel, candy canes and ORNAMENTS. These colorful shiny balls may possibly be the best thing about Christmas – the way they dangle and glisten so invitingly, just begging to be batted at. Who can resist? Not me, that’s for sure. Or you either. And why should we? After all, if our humans were truly worried about damage to their ornaments, they wouldn’t hang them in such a tempting location. So don’t be bashful, fellow sultan of swat. Whack at those ornaments until your heart’s content. And hey, if you happen to knock a few (or several) off the tree, don’t sweat it. It’s Christmas!

Then there’s the yuletide thrill of climbing the Christmas tree. However, a word of caution here. A few years back, I shinnied up my tree all the way to the top. Just as I was getting ready to do my impersonation of the Star of Bethlehem, my massive kitty girth upset the fundamental balance of gravity and the tree topped over with a resounding, tinkling crash (those ornaments DO break if they hit the ground hard enough). Naturally, Steve was pretty chagrined... although, deep down, I think he thought it was pretty funny.

It’s also great to sleep under the Christmas tree. You can even pretend you are a present if you like. And there is nothing like a refreshing drink of cool, pine-scented Christmas tree water to really get you in the holiday spirit.

Another great thing about Christmas is the presents, or, should I say, the ribbon and wrapping on the presents. The amazing thing is, fellow cat, that after all the painstaking planning, the stupefying shopping and the manual dexterity-challenging wrapping of gifts, the actual present-opening ritual is over in a matter of minutes, leaving an orgy of detritus for you to play in. Oh the joy of taking a flying leap at a mountain of crumpled-up wrapping paper, the glee of scattering colorful ribbons and bows around the living room, the unparalleled pleasure of climbing into new, unexplored empty boxes, the ego-flattering self indulgence of posing for photographs amid the rubble. And because your human won’t want you to feel left out of all the gift-giving – and receiving – they will probably buy something nice for you. In my house, it’s usually just a trifle like catnip or a cat toy, but hey, it’s the thought that counts, right? Besides, on top of all the other previously-mentioned delights of Christmas, an extra present is merely icing on the cake. And, of course, when the merriment finally comes to an end and your human is cleaning up the wreckage, there is nothing better than a contented-cat snooze in front of a roaring yuletide fire.

NOTE #1: Many children-humans break or become disinterested in their Christmas presents within minutes of receiving them, thus leaving them for you to play with and break further, if you so desire. Also, be sure to investigate the presents given and received by adult humans. Most likely, you will find some nice new clothing to curl up and sleep on.

NOTE #2: Sparkly and inviting as it may seem, DO NOT EAT TINSEL.

NOTE #3: Some humans will become very angry when you knock ornaments and other objects off the Christmas tree. Many will even create an ornament timber line, that is, they will only hang ornaments in positions above your reach. DON’T LET THIS STOP YOU FROM HAVING YOUR GOD-GIVEN RIGHT TO BAT AT CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS. If ornaments are placed beyond your reach, climb up the tree and rock it back and forth like a bear at Yellowstone National Park. This will surely cause a few things to fall, or at least tumble to a place where you can get at them.

Along with Steve and his female, I wish all creatures, (cats and otherwise), a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

QUASI'S "I WANT" CHRISTMAS LIST

Well, fellow cats, once again it’s that self-indulgent time of the year when I make out my list of what I want for Christmas. I’ve been a good cat this year (well… pretty good), so I hope Santa will come through big time.

Here’s my “I want” list for Christmas 2009:

• A new litter box (with a uniformed washroom attendant to keep it clean)
• One of those retro Felix the Cat clocks
• A subscription to Cat Fancy magazine
• An iPhone with Hello Kitty ringtones (Steve got one and its tres cool!)
• Enough catnip to keep me buzzed for a year
• A Taylor Swift CD (Yes, I still have a crush on her!)
• Opposable thumbs
• A generous gift certificate to Petco
• Socks and ties (just kidding!)
• A nice new cardboard box to explore and sleep in
• A new scratching post (that I can ignore while heading for the arm of the couch)
• Some intellectually-challenging cat toys
• The World Is Your Litter Box (hey, you just knew I had to sneak it in!)
• World Peace
• Food, food and MORE FOOD
  

NEW iPHONES FOR CHRISTMAS

This year, as a means of reducing their carbon footprint (and primarily because they’re cheap and lazy), Steve and his female have decided to forego the mind-numbing process of buying a multitude of Christmas presents for each other and instead, get new iPhones.

So over the weekend, while they went on the Apple website and watched videos about the iPhone and how to use it, I sat on the corner of the desk and tried to pick up a little info my own bad self. Now, I must admit, the iPhone seems to be very cool, but it also looks VERY confusing! Since Steve and the female are typically flummoxed by new technology, it will be lots of fun to watch them go completely bonkers as they try and figure out how to use these gadgets. Should be highly entertaining!

Because I secretly use Steve’s cell phone when he’s not around, I’m glad to see that the iPhone has a large keyboard, which will make texting much easier for me. After all, with no opposable thumbs, it’s pretty hard for us cats to text on a small keyboard. When Steve and the female get their iPhones, I should have no trouble mashing down on the keys when texting my kitty pals and telling them to meet me at the mall… or whatever.

Anyway, I’ll let you know how it goes when Steve and the female get their new iPhones, which should be within a week or so. I can’t wait!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Yes, once again it’s Thanksgiving week… that wonderful time of year when we all stop and give thanks for all the wonderful blessings we have. Yes, even in these difficult economic times, most of us have much to be thankful for. But still, let’s not forget those who don’t have as much as we do and hope that their lives improve for the better. And let’s also remember those who have given so much over the years so that we can continue to have the lifestyle we so enjoy today.

Now right about here, you’re probably thinking, “Hey, Quasi, those are very nice Thanksgiving sentiments and all that, but what does Thanksgiving hold in store for us cats?” Well, for your edification and enjoyment, here’s the Thanksgiving section from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)” chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box…

Thanksgiving: A good holiday for cats, even if it’s not so good for turkeys. At Thanksgiving, human families get together to gorge themselves and good feeling is in the air (as are an abundance of good cooking smells!) In most households with male and female humans, the male usually spends the day watching football on TV while the female toils in the kitchen preparing Thanksgiving dinner. In addition to providing engrossing tension and lively, entertaining arguments, this situation will afford you a good lap to sleep in, unless your male human becomes over-exuberant and spills beer on you, and plenty of interesting activity in the kitchen. Once the table is set, you might want to jump up there and make sure all the silverware, plates, and glasses are properly arranged. And when dinner is finally served, be sure to go from person to person looking as cute (and hungry) as possible. There is nothing better than Thanksgiving turkey. Yum! Then, when dinner is over and everyone is sated beyond the point of decency, including you, you can go into the bedroom and have a nice snooze on everyone’s coats, just like on New Years Eve and other holidays during cold seasons. Yes, there is much to be thankful for.

Along with Steve and Judy (my humans), I want to wish everyone - cat, human and otherwise - a very safe and happy Thanksgiving!

CAT CRUSH ON TAYLOR SWIFT

A couple nights ago, from my usual spot on the back of the couch behind Steve and his female, I watched Saturday Night Live, which was hosted by Taylor Swift, the very talented (and very cute) singer. About halfway through the show, I came to a startling realization, and that is… I have a BIG CAT CRUSH on Taylor Swift.

Now I know this is just a crazy fantasy and that nothing will ever come of it, but I find myself dreaming of Taylor Swift’s gentle touch as she rubs my tummy and her sweet, juicy lips as she kisses my nose and cuddles me. OMG, it makes me purr just thinking about it! I wonder if Taylor Swift is a cat person? And, dare I even think it… I wonder if she’s read The World Is Your Litter Box?

Oh well, like I said, probably nothing will ever come of my kitty crush, but hey Taylor… if you ever come to Burbank, there’s a great big furry white tummy waiting for you to rub! And if Kanye West ever bothers you again... just let me know and I'll give him a big, scary hiss!

STILL FLUMMOXED BY TIME CHANGE

Am I the only cat who’s still completely perplexed by the time change? Normally I adapt within a few days, but this year, for some reason, I just can’t seem to get my internal kitty clock synced up with human clocks. Maybe it has to do with global warming or sunspots or something. All I know is, when I wake Steve and his female at my formerly normal time of 7:00 a.m., it’s now 6:00 a.m., which makes them very angry to be awakened so early. Oh, well. If I get hungry at 6:00 a.m. (or what used to be 7:00 a.m.), they just have to get up and feed me, and that’s that! Hey, can I help it if my circadian rhythm is all messed up?

As far as I’m concerned, this whole concept of setting clocks ahead one hour in the spring and back one hour in the fall is one the worst ideas humans have come up with yet. It’s VERY confusing. I think all humankind should adopt the much-easier-to-use international kitty clock system, which is clearly divided into “awake” time and “nap” time. And since “nap” time lasts for around 20 hours a day, the remaining “awake” time would be much simpler for everyone to manage. Do we cats have to think of EVERYTHING?

Anyway, until humans come to their senses and quit monkeying around with their clocks twice a year, I guess we cats will just have to continue to “spring ahead” and “fall back” as the time change reminder goes. Just don’t blame us if we wake our humans up an hour early in the fall and let them oversleep one hour in the spring.

THE BACK-HOME-AGAIN DAMAGE REPORT

Steve and his female FINALLY arrived back home from their visit to Savannah GA and Charleston SC. Even though they were only gone six days, it felt like a lot longer. Of course, of those six days, I spent approximately 120 hours asleep, so mostly, I only missed them in my dreams. And, as usual, I was able to con my pet sitter into giving me an overabundance of kitty treats. Still, when humans leave cats alone, they MUST pay, and Steve and his female are no exception. Here’s the teach-them-a-lesson-for-leaving-me damage report:

• 45 minutes of serious kitty scorn (I tried for an hour, but I couldn’t hold out any longer)
• 1 unraveled and finely-shredded roll of toilet paper
• “Accident” outside litter box
• Demolition of the female’s favorite houseplant
• 1 kacked-up hairball on coffee table, with fallout spatter on the DVD remote
• All Tivo’d shows deleted and replaced with programming from Animal Planet
• Uber-shredding on the arm of the couch
• All books pushed out of the bookcase and onto the floor (except The World Is Your Litter Box)
• Overwhelming smell of cat throughout the house
• Cat hair on everything

And one final thing… Steve and the female said they only saw two kitties in Savannah and NONE in Charleston. I’m guessing that my fellow cats in the low country were sleeping off huge meals of kitty food and grits and were just too full and sated to go outside. Regardless, y’all, here’s a hearty shout out to every one of my kitty compadres in the South.

HOME ALONE 2009

For one week, Steve and his female are taking a vacation, which they seem to do every year about this time. This year, they’re going to Savannah, which is in some place called Georgia, and Charleston, which is in some place called South Carolina. Why they want to go to these two cities is a mystery to me, but I hear they’re both very beautiful and historic, and that they both have lots of opportunities to eat indulgent amounts of delicious Southern food (now THAT’S something I can relate to!).

Nice for Steve and the female, but not so swell for yours truly. For you see, fellow cat, for one week, I’ll be home alone and left in the care of my pet sitter, who comes over twice a day to feed me and cater to whatever whims I might feel at the time. Now, right about here, you’re probably thinking, “But Quaz, in The World Is Your Litter Box, you talked about all kinds of ways to take advantage of your pet sitter. That can't be so bad.” Yes, that’s true, and I plan to do just that. But still, there’s nothing like having your own humans around to suck up to you 24/7, and when they’re gone, I’m forced to WAIT for things like food and attention. Unacceptable human behavior if you ask me.

So, fellow cat, as I always do when Steve and the female leave me home alone, I will make them pay dearly (as only a cat can). I haven’t yet determined the level and scope of household damage I intend to inflict, but you can bet it will be – shall we say – noticeable. And, of course, when Steve and the female return, I’ll scorn both of them (for a little while, anyway) to teach a lesson they shan’t soon forget.

Anyway, I hope Steve and his female have a nice vacation in the South, but they better bring me back something nice. Perhaps some catnip-flavored grits or a replica of Fort Sumter that I can lie on and crush. Please, God, just don’t let them come back talking like Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara!

THE END OF BASEBALL SEASON

Today, according to my human, Steve, is the saddest day of the year. For you see, today, the words “Final Standings” appear on the sports page of the newspaper. This means that the regular 2009 baseball season is officially over, and for Steve, this is a tragedy on the magnitude of the Great Plague. Put it this way… in addition to being a cat nut, Steve is a MAJOR baseball nut. Steve grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area, and even though he lives in Southern California (home of the hated Dodgers), his favorite team has always been the SF Giants.

But forget Steve. What I’m sure you REALLY want to know, fellow cat, is how does the end of baseball season affect your ‘ole pal Quasi? Well, in our household, we have a very workable arrangement that allows Steve to watch zillions of baseball games without incurring the wrath of the female. Steve has MLB.TV, so he can watch all the Giants games on his computer in his home office (yes, I know… he SHOULD be helping me work on The World Is STILL Your Litter Box instead of frittering his time away watching humans running around on a baseball diamond). This leaves the TV (and the Netflix cue) free for the female so she can watch all the nauseating chick flicks and reality TV shows she wants. And when the female is happy, we’re ALL happy. Anyway, when Steve watches baseball games on the computer, he props his legs up on his desk, which creates the perfect lap space for yours truly. Yes, that’s right… hours of baseball watching translates into hours of high quality lap time and petting for ME!

During the Giants games, when one of the opposing players strikes out, Mike Krukow, one of the Giants announcers often says, “Grab some pine, meat.” For me, I’ll have to wait ‘til next spring for Steve to look at me, pat his lap and say “Grab some lap, meat.”

It’s going to be a long, cold winter.

The World Is STILL Your Litter Box

Lately, several erudite kitty (and human) readers of The World Is Your Litter Box, my ultra-hilarious how-to manual for cats, have asked me about the status of the follow-up, The World Is STILL Your Litter Box… so, as a means providing an update (and take advantage of yet another opportunity to shamelessly promote my writing career), let me first tell you that barring any last-minute complications, The World Is STILL Your Litter Box will be out in the spring of 2010. We don’t have a firm release date yet, but when we do, I’ll be sure to let you know.

Meanwhile, here is a partial list of chapters from the new book that are finished so far…

• How to Tell If Your Human Is a True Cat Nut
• What to Do If Your Human Puts You On a Diet
• Breezy Excuses for Unacceptable Kitty Behavior
• Cat Sounds and What They Mean
• Fun Things to Do When You’re Buzzed On Catnip
• How to Live with Multiple Cats and Alpha Males
• Good Fighting (and Survival) Techniques
• How to Baby-sit Guest Kittens
• Why Cats Are Smarter Than Humans

Let me also apologize for being somewhat missing in action on the web lately, but as you can imagine, writing a book is very hard, time-consuming work… especially for a cat with a multitude of household responsibilities and a need to sleep 20 hours a day. But rest assured that Steve and I are working very diligently to complete The World Is STILL Your Litter Box, and when you finally read it, I think you’ll agree that it will have been worth the wait (if I don’t say so myself!).

WHY CAN'T HUMANS BE MORE LIKE CATS? (CIVILITY LESSON #2)

Just when I thought humans couldn’t be any ruder and nastier to one another, yet another incident occurred that made me wonder why humans can’t be more like cats. On the MTV Music Video Awards program a few days ago, Kanye West interrupted an acceptance speech by Taylor Swift, grabbed the microphone from Swift’s hand, and proceeded to tell the whole world that Beyonce was more deserving of the award. (To Beyonce’s credit, she graciously ceded some of her time on the program so Swift could complete her acceptance speech.)

Have humans (other than Beyonce) gone completely mad? Has it become fashionable for humans to yell and scream and interrupt one another? I know that hosts on talk radio and cable TV do it, but does that mean that all humans have to act like louts and oafs to make their point?

Here’s what I think humans should do to become more kind and courteous… in other words, to become more like cats. First, all humans should give at least one other human a kiss (which is the equivalent of our licking). Then, all humans should give another human at lease one delicious treat. And finally, all humans should take a nice long nap so they wake up refreshed, and hopefully, in a better mood. Hey, it works for us cats.

WHY CAN'T HUMANS BE MORE LIKE CATS? (CIVILITY LESSON #1)

From my usual spot on the back of the couch, behind Steve and his female, I watched President Obama’s speech on health care reform, and quite frankly, I was stunned by the behavior of certain human members of Congress. Throughout the speech, I heard cat calls (and I don’t mean meows), and I saw several humans texting or Twittering while the President was speaking. Tres rude! One white male congressman even shouted out, “You lie.” Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the President of the United States the leader of the free world and deserving of a certain amount of respect, even if you disagree with him?

Now what occurred to me while watching the speech, among other things, is… why can’t humans be more like cats? Let me give you an example. When I disagree with one of my fellow felines, I merely hiss at them and… well yes, sometimes a whap or two on the head are also required to drive my point home. But I don’t call other cats liars or Nazis or Commies or whatever. Even with enemy cats, I try to show a reasonable degree of courtesy and respect. After all, what are we? Animals?

Now I’m not suggesting that humans hiss at each other or whap each other on the head, but a little civility would be nice. All this screeching and name calling is getting humans nowhere, and for the rest of us, it’s mighty unpleasant. Disagree if you must, humans, but please try and keep the level of discourse out of the gutter. And it would also be nice if you could disagree more quietly. Hey, some of us are trying to nap.

FIRES IN CALIFORNIA

I’m sure you’ve heard by now that some very serious wildfires are burning in California, primarily in Southern California where it’s very hot. The largest one, known as the Station Fire, is burning out of control in the Los Angeles area. We live pretty close to the fire… not so close that we’re in any immediate danger, but close enough that we can see and smell the smoke in the air. It’s pretty nasty.

It seems that all the states in the good ‘ole USA are plagued with some kinds of natural disasters, whether it be hurricanes, tornadoes, floods or droughts. In California, from roughly August through October, it’s fire season. That’s because in most of the state, we get no rain between June and the late fall, so everything becomes tinder dry. Combine that with extremely hot weather, and you’ve got very dangerous conditions that all too often become disastrous.

At times like these, in addition to concern about humans, I worry about all the forest creatures and house pets (yes, even dogs) who are in so much danger. And, of course, emergency situations like this put a significant strain on all the animal shelters and rescue organizations. I know things are pretty tight with the economy right now, but if you have a few extra bucks, you might want to make a donation to the shelter or rescue organization of your choice. You’ll find a list of some of the more well-known animal organizations on the Litter Box website.

Meanwhile, here’s a big meow out to all the human firefighters who are doing so much and risking their lives to conquer these horrible fires. We can’t thank you enough.

CAT VIDEOS RULE THE WEB!

The August 7 issue of Entertainment Weekly has an article of interest to all cats and cat lovers everywhere. I’m a little late with this information, but I didn’t know about the article until Steve’s female nicked a copy of the magazine from the gym. Anyway, the story is entitled “Hello Kitty,” and its all about how cats are the undisputed stars of the Internet. Yes fellow cats and cat lovers, according to the article, cat videos are the most watched videos on the web… in fact, some videos have been viewed over 4 million times. Let’s see dogs, politicians, movie stars and the Kardashian sisters top that!

As a public service to everyone who loves cats (and who doesn’t?), we’ve assembled the crème de la crème of the best (and funniest) cat videos on the web… all in one place for your convenience. Simply visit the official The World Is Your Litter Box website, click on “Fun Cat Videos,” and get ready to laugh your tail off. That’s entertainment!

CHILD PORN DOWNLOADED BY CAT? I THINK NOT!

Here’s a story that made the news last week, but bears repeating, I think. In Jepsen Beach, Florida, a human named Keith Griffin was arrested on child pornography charges after the police found over 1,000 illicit images on his computer. Griffin contended that he left the room while downloading music and when he returned, his cat had walked across the keyboard and downloaded “strange material.”

Nice try, chucko. Hey, I acknowledge that many cats (myself included) enjoy an entertaining stroll across our human’s computer keyboard from time to time, and I also acknowledge that I occasionally surf the net looking for racy images of Hello Kitty. But this allegation is completely bogus! If Griffin were truly downloading music, there’s virtually no way his kitty could have walked across the keyboard and brought up an entirely different web page. And furthermore, to bring up 1,000 images (according to mathematical probability statistics), his kitty would have had to walk across the keyboard no less than 978,432 trillion times!

Needless to say, the police did not buy Griffin’s explanation and took him into custody. His kitty, an innocent victim of blind justice (like Dr. Richard Kimble in “The Fugitive”) is being cared for by a family friend.