QUASI FOR PRESIDENT?

What with my fame and Paris Hilton-type celebrity as the author of The World Is Your Litter Box, a grassroots movement is apparently afoot to get yours truly elected president of the United States. Check out this video:

http://www.inews3.com/play.php?first=&last=Quasi

While I’m extremely flattered by this effort, I must earnestly and respectfully say NO WAY! Here are just a few of the reasons why I would NEVER want to be president:

• It would be WAY too much work
• It would require me to deal with unpleasant humans
• It would require me to make boring, longwinded speeches
• It would require me to leave Burbank CA and move to Washington, DC
• It would be too hard to hide from the Secret Service
• It would disrupt my napping schedule

So, thanks but no thanks. I’ll leave the presidential campaign to the human candidates and my kitty friends in the blogosphere who have already tossed their proverbial hats into the ring. May the best man (or cat) win!

A SOGGY MESS IN FLORIDA

I want to extend positive thoughts and best wishes to all the cats (and their families) in Florida who got flooded out, soaked, and/or otherwise inconvenienced in Tropical Storm Fay. Even though Fay never reached hurricane strength, it apparently created quite a mess as it zigzagged across the state. I hope all our friends in Florida are okay.

As always when these types of natural disasters occur, animal rescue organizations step in and help cats and other animals that might be otherwise ignored. If you have a few extra bucks, you might want to consider a donation to the animal rescue organization of your choice to help them defray their costs. A list of excellent animal rights organizations can be found on the “Links” page of my website.

Meanwhile, here’s hoping all the kitties in Florida dry out and lick themselves clean as quickly as possible.

QUASI'S OLYMPICS RANT

Are you as tired of the Olympics as I am? Sure the Olympics promote good will among nations and feature incredible feats of athletic derring-do, but ENOUGH ALREADY! If I see any more footage of that tall human swimming dude that looks like a vampire, I’m going to toss my cat chow. And yes, those female human gymnasts are pretty amazing, but let’s face it…they’re not doing anything that a kitty hopped up on catnip couldn’t do. And some of those humans participating in marathon-type events look so exhausted they make ME want to take a nap. And lastly, how has Bob Costas managed to look like he’s 19 years old for the last 50 years?

Anyway, we’ve had a lot of Olympics watching around our household, mainly because the female is really into it (although Steve secretly enjoys watching the girl gymnasts and the women’s beach volleyball tournaments). And even though I can’t wait for the Olympics to end, I send hearty cat-gratulations to all the athletes who are participating, regardless of whether they win or fall a bit short.

A GOOD (AND FUNNY) READ FOR THE "DOG" DAYS OF SUMMER

With the “dog” days of summer upon us, you’re probably looking for a good book to read while you’re lounging by the pool or tanning up on the beach like the kitty in the photo. Might I humbly suggest The World Is Your Litter Box? It’s light and funny so it won’t depress you like all those other books about the horrible state of the world, it’s chic and ultra-hip so you can impress your friends with your excellent taste in literature, and it only weighs four ounces so you won’t strain yourself carrying it to your favorite reading spot. What could be better!

I have received several emails asking where The World Is Your Litter Box can be purchased. It's available pretty much everywhere, but your best bet is probably Barnes & Noble or Amazon. com.

And lastly, heartfelt thanks to those of you who have already read The World Is Your Litter Box and let me know how much you enjoyed it. As an author cat, it makes me feel like purring!

KITTY FASHION SHOW AT THE ALGONQUIN

The historic Algonquin Hotel in New York City was the site of another very historic event on Thursday…a feline fashion show with actual cats instead of pouty, anorexic human models. The show was held in honor of Matilda, the house cat at the Algonquin, and all proceeds benefited the North Shore Animal League, an adoption shelter on Long Island. The kitty-models were provided by the Westchester Feline Club, and the high-tone fashions were created by Meow Wear.

All you intellectual cats and humans know the Algonquin as the site of Dorothy Parker’s famous Round Table literary luncheons in the 1920s. I personally attended several myself when I was Robert Benchley in a previous life. The fashion show was held in the very dinning room where the Round Table luncheons occurred.

Matilda, shown in the photo above, is the ninth house cat at the Algonquin. The kitty tradition began in the 1930s with Hamlet, a bedraggled stray found by actor John Barrymore. And hey, Matilda… next time I’m in New York, I’ll stop by and we can claw up a chair in the Oak Room together.

NEW KITTY ON THE BLOCK!

A couple days ago, our good friend Paula (who also happens to be my literary agent extraordinaire) welcomed a new addition to her family. No, not a pesky, squalling human baby, but… a three-month-old little girl kitty! The kitten, along with her litter mates, was rescued from death row at the pound by a good Samaritan, who then adopted them out to good homes (including Paula’s), where they will lead wonderful, happy lives. Paula’s man-cat, Dave, is already showing the new kitten the ropes, and as soon as the kitty gets acclimated to her new surroundings, Paula will read her the “Advice for Kittens” chapter in The World Is Your Litter Box (yes, I couldn’t resist yet another shameless plug for my book!).

Paula is still deciding on a name for her new kitty. One of the possibilities is “Stevie,” which Steve thinks is pretty cool (obviously), but if you want to weigh in with a suggestion, I’ll make sure to pass it along. Meanwhile, please join me in welcoming Paula’s new kitty and wishing her many years of purrs, tummy rubs, and best of all, long naps in the sun.