Showing posts with label beer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beer. Show all posts

Friday, July 3, 2009

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!

For your pleasure and amusement on this 4th of July weekend, here's my personal take on the holiday from a cat’s perspective, from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)” chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box...

4th of July: The birthday of America with lots of patriotic razzle-dazzle, but not a good holiday for cats. Most Americans celebrate the 4th with backyard barbeques that fill the air with noxious, cloying smoke (Fools! Don't they realize that all this smoke is contributing to global warming?) Then when it gets dark, after gorging themselves and drinking copious amounts of beer, they go and watch explosions in the sky. While some of these explosions are quite pretty (and quite psychedelic if you’ve been sniffing catnip), they are loud and VERY SCARY. Apart from seeing homes festooned with American flags and hearing off-key versions of the Star Spangled Banner played by horrible high school bands, and the possibility of eating leftover BBQ, there is not much for a cat to look forward to on the 4th of July except the return of sanity on the 5th. NOTE: The 4th of July is a time you outdoor cats should stay inside. Believe it or not, some twisted humans will actually go out of their way to torment cats with fireworks. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

Here’s wishing everyone (cat, human and otherwise) a safe, happy and fun-filled 4th of July! And remember... DON'T play with fireworks!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

HAPPY JULY 4TH WEEKEND!

With the 4th of July upon us, I thought I’d share my personal take on the holiday from a cat’s perspective. Here is an excerpt from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)” chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box….

4th of July: The birthday of America with lots of patriotic razzle-dazzle, but not a good holiday for cats. Most Americans celebrate the 4th with backyard barbeques that fill the air with noxious, cloying smoke (Fools! Do they think global warming is a myth?) Then when it gets dark, after gorging themselves and drinking copious amounts of beer, they go and watch explosions in the sky. While some of these explosions are quite pretty (and quite psychedelic if you’ve been sniffing catnip), they are loud and VERY SCARY. Apart from seeing homes festooned with American flags and hearing off-key versions of the Star Spangled Banner played by horrible high school bands, and the possibility of eating leftover BBQ, there is not much for a cat to look forward to on the 4th of July except the return of sanity on the 5th. NOTE: The 4th of July is a time you outdoor cats should stay inside. Believe it or not, some twisted humans will actually go out of their way to torment cats with fireworks. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!”

Here’s wishing everyone (cat, human and otherwise) a safe, happy and fun-filled 4th of July!

Your Friend,
Quasi

Friday, March 28, 2008

WHEN THE FEMALE'S AWAY, THE CAT WILL....


Steve's female left this morning to visit her family, so that means for the next few days, Steve and I will be bachelors again. Although Steve will certainly miss his female, he's kinda happy because now he can leave the house a mess without any repercussions, drink lots of beer, eat junk food, and leave the seat to his litter box up. In reality, however, what it really means is that things will deteriorate pretty quickly around the old homestead. I hope he doesn't forget to feed me! Stay tuned.