Summer Reading & Safety Tips for Cats

With the “dog” days of summer fast approaching, you’re probably looking for a couple good books to read while you’re lounging by the pool or tanning up on the beach like the kitty in the photo. Might I humbly suggest The World Is Your Litter Box and The World Is STILL Your Litter Box? They’re light and funny so they won’t depress you like all those books about the horrible state of the world, they’re chic and ultra-hip so you can impress your friends with your excellent taste in literature, and they’re very lightweight so you won’t strain yourself carrying them to your favorite reading spot. What could be better?

And while I’m at it, here are a few summer safety tips for my kitty compadres. First, be sure to use PLENTY of sun block if you plan on lounging about (or napping) in the out-of-doors… you don’t want those deadly gamma rays to singe your fur or burn your tender skin. Be sure to drink plenty of fluids so you stay hydrated… in fact, why not ask your human to add some refreshing ice cubes to your drinking water? DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT mess around with dogs that are lying in the sun… the heat makes them extra grouchy and just because they look wasted with their tongues lolling out doesn’t mean they won’t get up and chase you. And lastly, if you go for a refreshing dip in the pool and engage in some entertaining underwater hijinx, don’t forget to come up for air.

Enjoy the rest of the summer!

Quasi's Idea for Winning the Fight in Afghanistan

Like pretty much all Americans, cats, humans and otherwise, I would like to see the conflict in Afghanistan brought to a swift conclusion, and for our troops to come home safe and sound. To such an effect, I’ve come up with an idea that I think will help win the fight quickly and decisively. In fact, it’s such a great idea, I can’t believe some other cat didn’t think of it before.

As everyone knows, we cats are finely-tuned fighting machines, and perhaps the most fearsome tools in our arsenal are our ultra-mighty back legs. Science has proven that the force generated by a cat’s bunny-kicking back legs, pound for pound, is more powerful than an exploding supernova or a combination of five neutron bombs. Actually I just made that up, but still… no cat (or human) who’s been on the receiving end of the rear-legged defense can deny the sheer, unmitigated destructive force. When our back legs get to pumpin’ with claws fully extended… look out!

So here’s my idea… we’re using drones in Afghanistan, right? Well, why not simply equip those drones with mechanical back cat legs? Then, the drones could fly low over the enemy, but instead of dropping bombs, the back kitty legs could be activated and the Taliban (or whoever) could be pummeled and scratched into submission. Hey, it may sound crazy, but they laughed at the Wright Brothers and Bill Gates too.

As a good American kitty, I would certainly be willing to allow my back legs to be used as a design prototype, and I’m sure other patriotic felines would be more than happy to make the same offer. So how about it, Department of Defense? Let’s quit “pussy footing” around over there and win this thing with the awesome, formidable firepower of a cat’s back legs.

eBook Versions of The World Is STILL Your Litter Box

The World Is STILL Your Litter Box, the ultra-hilarious sequel to The World Is Your Litter Box, is now available as an eBook in a variety of formats for all types of devices and computers. Just think… you can read my new book wherever you might be – on the subway, in an airplane, at your place of work instead of actually doing your job – the possibilities are infinite! And you can download the book and begin reading it in seconds… talk about instant gratification!

For your shopping and downloading convenience, here are four handy links:

• For the Amazon Kindle edition, click here.
• For the Sony eReader edition, click here.
• For the Barnes & Noble Nook edition, click here.
• For the iUniverse edition, click here.

The Nook edition may also be used to read The World Is STILL Your Litter Box on an iPad, iPhone, Blackberry, PC or Mac. The iUniverse edition may be read on a PC, Mac, iPad, iPhone or Blackberry.

Unfortunately, my first book, The World Is Your Litter Box, is not yet available as an eBook… hopefully, it will be in the not-too-distant future. Meanwhile, you’ll just have to read it the old-fashioned way. In other words, you’ll have to physically hold the book and turn the pages by hand. Some of you may not be familiar with this primitive means of reading, but once you get the hang of it, it’s really not so bad.

Quasi's Cool Cat iMix (2010)

Summer’s here and the time is right for dancing in the streets, as Martha & The Vandellas so eloquently sang back in the day… so, your friend Quasi has created the ultimate i-Mix for all you cool cats and kittens to enjoy at work and at play. Along with classics such as “Stray Cat Strut” and “Year of the Cat,” you’ll find some real gems including “Litter Box Boogie,” “Leave My Kitten Alone,” “Do the Hairball,” and “When Kitty Eyes Are Smiling.” Plus, this is probably the only playlist in history where “The Siamese Cat Song” segues into the Rolling Stones’ “Stray Cat Blues.” How hip is that?

Here’s the complete playlist:

Put Your Cat Clothes On - Carl Perkins
What’s New Pussycat - Tom Jones
Litter Box Boogie - Laurel Canyon Animal Company
Black Cat - Janet Jackson
Stray Cat Strut - The Stray Cats
Leave My Kitten Alone - Little Willie John
Do the Hairball - The Mopes
The Siamese Cat Song - Peggy Lee with Si & Am
Stray Cat Blues - The Rolling Stones
Alley Cat - Bent Fabric
I Love My Cat’s Meow - Donnie Barren
Three Cool Cats - The Coasters
Pink Pussycat - Devo
The Kitty Cat Song - Lee Dorsey
Hairball or Puke - Budda-Bang
Cat Man - Gene Vincent
Carol of the Meows - Guster
This Cat’s On a Hot Tin Roof - The Brian Setzer Orchestra
Year of the Cat - Al Stewart
When Kitty Eyes Are Smiling - Marc Gunn

And here's the link...

Quasi's Cool Cat iMix (2010)

Proving, unequivocally and without question, that CATS ROCK!

Happy 4th of July!

OMG, the 4th of July is upon us! Time, once again, for American humans to celebrate the founding of the country and go REALLY crazy with fireworks, BBQs and oceans of beer. Yes, on the 4th, the good ‘ole US of A will be 234 years old (or, approximately 1638 in cat years). Let the festivities begin!

To honor American and its founding fathers, especially those among them who were cat lovers, I thought I’d share my personal take on the holiday from a kitty’s perspective. Here’s an excerpt from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)” chapter of my first book, The World Is Your Litter Box….

“4th of July: The birthday of America with lots of patriotic razzle-dazzle, but not a good holiday for cats. Most Americans celebrate the 4th with backyard barbeques that fill the air with noxious, cloying smoke (Fools! Do they think global warming is a myth?) Then when it gets dark, after gorging themselves and drinking copious amounts of beer, they go and watch explosions in the sky. While some of these explosions are quite pretty (and quite psychedelic if you’ve been sniffing catnip), they are loud and VERY SCARY. Apart from seeing homes festooned with American flags and hearing off-key versions of the Star Spangled Banner played by horrible high school bands, and the possibility of eating leftover BBQ, there is not much for a cat to look forward to on the 4th of July except the return of sanity on the 5th. Also, the 4th of July is a time you outdoor cats should stay inside. Believe it or not, some twisted humans will actually go out of their way to torment cats with fireworks. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!”

Here’s wishing everyone (cat, human and otherwise) a safe, happy and fun-filled 4th of July! And fellow cats, don’t worry… those dreaded boom-booms in the sky will only last 15-20 minutes or so. Still, just before the mayhem begins, you might want to find a safe place to hide, like under the bed or in a closet, where the boom-booms can’t get to you.