Saturday, November 21, 2009


Yes, once again it’s Thanksgiving week… that wonderful time of year when we all stop and give thanks for all the wonderful blessings we have. Yes, even in these difficult economic times, most of us have much to be thankful for. But still, let’s not forget those who don’t have as much as we do and hope that their lives improve for the better. And let’s also remember those who have given so much over the years so that we can continue to have the lifestyle we so enjoy today.

Now right about here, you’re probably thinking, “Hey, Quasi, those are very nice Thanksgiving sentiments and all that, but what does Thanksgiving hold in store for us cats?” Well, for your edification and enjoyment, here’s the Thanksgiving section from the “Holiday Fun (& Danger)” chapter of The World Is Your Litter Box

Thanksgiving: A good holiday for cats, even if it’s not so good for turkeys. At Thanksgiving, human families get together to gorge themselves and good feeling is in the air (as are an abundance of good cooking smells!) In most households with male and female humans, the male usually spends the day watching football on TV while the female toils in the kitchen preparing Thanksgiving dinner. In addition to providing engrossing tension and lively, entertaining arguments, this situation will afford you a good lap to sleep in, unless your male human becomes over-exuberant and spills beer on you, and plenty of interesting activity in the kitchen. Once the table is set, you might want to jump up there and make sure all the silverware, plates, and glasses are properly arranged. And when dinner is finally served, be sure to go from person to person looking as cute (and hungry) as possible. There is nothing better than Thanksgiving turkey. Yum! Then, when dinner is over and everyone is sated beyond the point of decency, including you, you can go into the bedroom and have a nice snooze on everyone’s coats, just like on New Years Eve and other holidays during cold seasons. Yes, there is much to be thankful for.

Along with Steve and Judy (my humans), I want to wish everyone - cat, human and otherwise - a very safe and happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 9, 2009


A couple nights ago, from my usual spot on the back of the couch behind Steve and his female, I watched Saturday Night Live, which was hosted by Taylor Swift, the very talented (and very cute) singer. About halfway through the show, I came to a startling realization, and that is… I have a BIG CAT CRUSH on Taylor Swift.

Now I know this is just a crazy fantasy and that nothing will ever come of it, but I find myself dreaming of Taylor Swift’s gentle touch as she rubs my tummy and her sweet, juicy lips as she kisses my nose and cuddles me. OMG, it makes me purr just thinking about it! I wonder if Taylor Swift is a cat person? And, dare I even think it… I wonder if she’s read The World Is Your Litter Box?

Oh well, like I said, probably nothing will ever come of my kitty crush, but hey Taylor… if you ever come to Burbank, there’s a great big furry white tummy waiting for you to rub! And if Kanye West ever bothers you again... just let me know and I'll give him a big, scary hiss!

Friday, November 6, 2009


Am I the only cat who’s still completely perplexed by the time change? Normally I adapt within a few days, but this year, for some reason, I just can’t seem to get my internal kitty clock synced up with human clocks. Maybe it has to do with global warming or sunspots or something. All I know is, when I wake Steve and his female at my formerly normal time of 7:00 a.m., it’s now 6:00 a.m., which makes them very angry to be awakened so early. Oh, well. If I get hungry at 6:00 a.m. (or what used to be 7:00 a.m.), they just have to get up and feed me, and that’s that! Hey, can I help it if my circadian rhythm is all messed up?

As far as I’m concerned, this whole concept of setting clocks ahead one hour in the spring and back one hour in the fall is one the worst ideas humans have come up with yet. It’s VERY confusing. I think all humankind should adopt the much-easier-to-use international kitty clock system, which is clearly divided into “awake” time and “nap” time. And since “nap” time lasts for around 20 hours a day, the remaining “awake” time would be much simpler for everyone to manage. Do we cats have to think of EVERYTHING?

Anyway, until humans come to their senses and quit monkeying around with their clocks twice a year, I guess we cats will just have to continue to “spring ahead” and “fall back” as the time change reminder goes. Just don’t blame us if we wake our humans up an hour early in the fall and let them oversleep one hour in the spring.